Yes, I know... I've been falling into old habits, at least when it comes to my writing. However, considering that I rarely have anything super exciting or pleasant to write about, I usually choose to abstain from it altogether.
Before I proceed, just a quick disclaimer: Just because something works for me (or just because I do things a certain way), in the areas of nutrition and fitness in this case, that does NOT mean that it will or even necessarily should work for you. I'm not saying that what I'm doing is the only or even the right way. This is just me processing my experience and passing along my thoughts and feelings. Are we all good? Yeah? Okay, let's move on then.
The last time I wrote was at the end of month one of my little journey, and I was a bit of a wreck. My whole January was just one big vortex of suckitude, and even though things have gotten better, I still have my ups and downs. That being said, I am still working out regularly and trying to eat as healthily as possible. So, those are the two major positives.
Since then, so in the past 3-4 months, I've lost roughly 20 kg (or 44 lbs for those of you who still haven't jumped on the metric bandwagon) and 92.5 cm (or approximately 36.4 inches) of my total body mass. My body feels somewhat firmer in places, I feel stronger, and my clothes fit better (well, they "fit better" in the sense that a lot of them are now borderline threatening to drown me, so a thorough closet cleanse followed by, and I shudder at the thought, a shopping spree are probably in order).
Of course, not all is well in the 'verse. Try as I might, I still can barely balance on my right leg, so any single-legged exercises (and I'm including lunges in this category) not only take longer to complete, they also usually involve quite a bit of stumbling or having to hold onto a door or chair. Despite getting stronger, losing fat and gaining muscle mass, I'm not quite as flexible or strong as I could or would like to be. You know those bridge poses that seem to be standard practice for yoga? Yeah...I still can't get my shoulders or even my head up off the floor. So those are certainly points of frustration for me. As for my physical appearance, I can't say that I've yet reached a point where I'm super thrilled about it. I do appreciate being able to see (and feel) my ab muscles more. Granted, I may never be able to take pride in being able to show off my own hand-chiseled six-pack, but it seems like I at the very least have the potential of developing my own two-pack (not to be confused with the late Tupac...RIP). Now, as hot and impressive as that might sound, the fact that I still have two fairly sizeable fat folds hanging off of my abs and that there are stretch marks that run up and down my torso definitely take away from that image of potential sexiness and strength (unless you're into that type of thing...I don't know what you people like). In addition to that, I'm trying to mentally prepare for the joy that is loose skin. Sure, I haven't reached my goal weight yet, nor have I even done everything in my power fitness-wise to try and counteract or prevent this unfortunate, potential side effect, but it's a very real possibility that I might wind up in a plastic surgeon's office at some point in the (nearish) future to talk about body and breast lifts. I'm not thrilled about it, in fact it kind of pisses me off, but the slight puckering of skin on my inner thighs or on my stomach and breasts serve as a constant reminder that that might be something that I'll feel compelled to look into at some point.
And yes, I realize that I just typed up a whole lot more stuff about the negatives than the positives. Unfortunately, I'm still at a point in this process where I see all the things that still need to be done. I'm more focused on how far I still have to go, instead of how far I've already come, which is a problem and one that I should probably work on.
Do I have any goals for next month? I've already met one of them way ahead of schedule, but other than that, it's really just going to be about continuing with what I'm currently doing. I'm going to continue with my workouts, I'm going to continue with my mostly healthy eating... The one thing that I need to be aware of, and this has been an issue since almost the very beginning of this journey, is my actual caloric intake. And it's not what you think. I don't really have the problem with eating too much or too often, at least not most of the time. No, I tend to either forget to eat (and yes, I have actually gone for 7-8 hours in between meals before it dawned on me that I should probably eat something again) or I just forgo food (be it because I'm simply not hungry or that I'm worried that I've eaten too much already or because I'm obviously a bit of a masochist and use abstinence from the various "joys" of life as a punishment/disciplinary device of sorts). Normally this doesn't faze me all too much mainly because this is what I'm used to. However, I have been told by one of my friends (repeatedly) that I might not be eating enough. I honestly don't know if this is true or not. To determine something like that, I would have to actually write down what I eat and how much, in addition to figuring out how many calories I actually need for my current physical state and activity level...and I'm just not quite ready for that. At some point, sure, it'll probably come to that. Until then, I'll just continue trying to listen to my own body and hopefully she'll know what she needs and when.
Since this has gotten way too long (again), I will end it here and maybe I'll get around to providing everyone (all of like the negative two of you reading) with more regular updates.
Take care! And remember, this is not meant to be a guide that you should model your own weight-loss efforts or life in general off of.
