Endspurt!

Yes people, it is that time of the semester again. Just two more weeks and then...FINALS...whoooooo!!!!

No, I am definitely not drunk...or drugged. If anything, I am just unbelievably tired and I have a headache or migraine...don't know which. For those of you who have a life...(here's a hint: if you're reading this, you obviously don't, but no worries...neither do I) here is what you missed: I ended up having to go to the Quad Cities for an ultrasound and a sleep study. Yeah, THAT went well...
Thanks to the stomach flu, I now have to redo my sleep study. Aside from that, I recently found out that I have to set up another ultrasound. Not just any ultrasound though people because that would be relaxing...to me. No, I'm talking about a transvaginal ultrasound...yeah, think about that one for a few. I'm not going to say anything else about that until a later post though.

All I have to say is: Ganbatte minasan!
If you don't have finals to worry about...well, lucky you, but I'm sure you have other things to deal with, right? So, good luck with those things then!

And to all my wonderful friends, I love you all!
If you ever need or want to talk to me, you know where to find me, for I am never far from you.
Hugs and kisses!!

For Kicks And Giggles

The following video is from a German movie, well, actually parody of Star Trek. It's made by the crew of the Bullyparade (look it up if you're interested). If you belong to the unfortunate few of my American friends who I've subjected to this movie, then you should enjoy it. Heck, even without having seen this movie, you should find this video at least somewhat amusing.
Viel Vergnuegen!

Oomph! Video

Hello everyone,

I have a video I would like to share with you. It's...I think, the newest music video from one of my favorite bands Oomph!. They are a German group and their music just really strikes a chord with me. I just love their music...
So, enjoy and tell me what you think about it and/or if you want see more of their videos! Take care!

New playlist

As some of you may have noticed, I put up some music for your enjoyment...well, fine, for my enjoyment... Since I have the same set of songs on both this blog and my Tagged site, I thought I'd change things a little, so now I put a completely new set of songs.
If you didn't notice, then fine...there's not much I can say about that, right?
Here is a list of the songs on my current playlist (and yes, you can switch through them):
1. Some Girls (Dance With Women) - JC Chasez (What?! I actually think he's okay! I mean, he can't be worse than Justin Timberlake...)
2. 100 Ways - JC Chasez
3. Shake It - JC Chasez
4. All Day Long I Dream About Sex - JC Chasez
5. How Much Is The Fish - Scooter
6. Creep - Dannii Minogue
7. I Begin To Wonder - Dannii Minogue
8. Hey! (So What) - Dannii Minogue
9. On The Loop - Dannii Minogue
10. Push - Dannii Minogue
11. Mystified - Dannii Minogue
12. Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling - Dannii Minogue
13. Come Into My World - Kylie Minogue
14. In Your Eyes - Kylie Minogue
15. Pop - NSync (This song is actually pretty decent.)
16. Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart (I was actually looking for the newer version that was released in 2002, but I couldn't find it.)
17. Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson

So, have fun people! :)

Sexual Style

Do I need to say anything else about this? I think I need to get my boyfriend's opinion on this one... ;)

You scored as Hot. You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you. Hot 75% Violent 69% Exciting 69% Shy 56% Wet 56% Soft 50% Awkward 31% Sweet 31% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

How dumb am I really?

According to this, obviously not that dumb, or I'm just extremely lucky. However, if I look at my track record with being lucky, I'm going to go with the "not being that dumb" answer.

A little somethin' somethin'

I decided to write about something today that seems to be all too familiar to me. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. If you're bothered by the lack of punctuation or anything in that area, remember that it's supposed to be like that way. I guess it is more a stream of thought...so enjoy, that is, if you enjoy stuff like this...

I'm sitting here
alone in the bathroom
looking at the knife in my hand
My hand is shaking uncontrollably
as if something inside is resisting the temptation
The temptation to end it all
the irresistible urge to escape from this cage
Why I am doing this?
What exactly am I thinking?
Something inside of me is stirring
something darker and more dangerous than anything else in this universe
It speaks to me
its words sharper than the knife I am holding
What's wrong?
What are you afraid of?
You have nothing to lose
Nobody cares about you
Nobody will miss you
Nobody will notice that you're gone
You are worthless
You can't do anything right
Not even this
My whole body is trembling
I can barely breathe
My heart feels like it's going to explode
Tears are rolling down my face
What is the big deal anyway?
All I have to do is make a few strategically placed cuts
No, I can't!!!!
With a renewed outburst of tears and a sense of frustration
I throw the knife into the bathtub
Does this mean I'm done?
Hardly
I take a handful of pills
I don't even know what they are all for
All I know is that they will take away the pain
for a few hours at least
As I get up
I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror
No...it's not mine
It's the image of my enemy
The image of someone worthless
someone who doesn't deserve to live
I feel my blood start to boil
and as I stare her in the eyes
I punch her
The glass shatters
and my hand starts to bleed
it starts to hurt
but I don't care
As I lick the blood off of my hand
I can't help but feel some odd sense of fulfillment
and satisfaction

What's up little man?

Yesterday was quite interesting... The strain of cold I have currently managed to knock me out cold until it was too late to go to class. This didn't really make me happy, but there's not much I can do if my body is practically forcing me into a time out. I still went to work though, which might not have been smart, but I need to earn money, so I don't have many legal options in that area. After work, I went to the mall to say hi to my boyfriend and to have my hair cut. This is where I saw him, a little boy came into the salon with his dad and he didn't look happy at all. I thought it was kind of cute because he seemed to be pouting for the heck of it. So, I'm looking at this kid and all of a sudden, he turns to stare at me. Not look, stare. I actually felt like someone had slapped me, so I tried not to continue looking at this kid. Now, not many people make me feel like this, let alone a child, but for some odd reason, he made me feel really uncomfortable. So, the dad and his son sit down in the chairs next to me, and what happens a few minutes later? This little boy is starting to burn holes in the side of my head with all of the staring he's doing. There were a few moments when I actually wanted to face this kid and ask "What is your problem?!". I didn't want to do that next to the boy's father though and I don't think I would've done it anyway. However, if his father hadn't been right there, I would've stared right back since that usually puts an end to it. Somehow I get the feeling though, that staring back at this particular guy, would not have stopped him from staring.
Ah well, what can you do?
I, however, need to get ready to go to class.

Talk to everyone soon,
Bettina

Sex on the brain

Okay, so maybe it's me being sick for the third time during the last 30 days, maybe it's my hormones...I don't know...but right now, I am constantly thinking about sex. Now, I'm in a relationship with a person I really love, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about who to have sex with, how much, how long, how rough, what positions, etc. I feel like Jessica Alba's character in Dark Angel, Max Guevera, who had cat genes mixed in with her DNA, which had the great effect of sending her into a sexual frenzy every so often. This makes for an absolutely hilarious episode, or in some cases a somewhat sad episode, when she ends up sleeping with some guy, even though she loves Logan. However, it's not very funny when you experience something similar in real life...at least not when there isn't much you can do about it... So, I can't actually have sex because...I have a boyfriend who wants to wait (I respect this choice, I'm not blaming him for my dilemma), which means that my code of ethics forbids me from doing anything stupid...and I can't or don't feel comfortable masturbating since I am currently having my period and whatnot...so I am really trying to get at least some of the sex out of my head.
So yeah, I'm sick in more ways than one...but what else is new... As much as I like sex (this doesn't necessarily pertain to intercourse alone), and as much as it is an inherent part of all of us, I don't want to have to think about it all the time, especially with me feeling as weak and dizzy as I am at the moment...
Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing fine and I'll write again soon.

Baibai

Updates

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to inform everyone of two new links that I have put in my Links section. Of course, you can't see all of that information right off because it has all been shoved down to the bottom of this page. I know that there's probably a way to fix it, but it's still here, so I don't really care too much.
Anyway, updates. New links. Yeah.
Both of them have to do with me because I have decided to start a Myspace and since I have been "tagged" by two of my friends, I now have also joined that community. I made both of the sites accessible to the public, so you should be able to take a look at them.
If you want to take a look at them, you can either scroll all the way down to my Links section and you will find them listed as "Bettina on Tagged" and "Bettina on Myspace". That way you can also take a look at some other interesting links that may not be new, but pretty much all of them lead to the sites of my friends, so show them some love! One I especially recommend is the link listed as Trifthen because there's always something interesting to read and it's very well-written.
However, if you're too lazy to scroll down (sit back down and stop pouting...I'm extremely lazy right now too), I will just list them in this post:
1) http://www.tagged.com/benedettasophia
2) http://www.myspace.com/benedettasophia
Should you feel the urge to write any comments about any of my posts on my Tagged and Myspace sites, just write it in the comments section of the latest post here, or write me a message (if you know my e-mail address).
Okay, I'm done.

Have a good night,
Bettina