Yeah, I know, not my best title. But hey, it's my blog, so I can come up with crappy titles. Anywho, for those of you who don't know (and somehow magically care), I set up accounts on two different online dating sites a little over a month ago. Why? Because I'm a lonely person, my last relationship ended in 2008 (lolz...last relationship...as if I have such an extensive dating history...nuns get more action than I do...oops, sorry?...), and I obviously fail at life. I won't regale you with the details now. Maybe I'll type that story up as a prequel at some point in the future, but on to the present...
So, like I mentioned, I am now a part of the online dating community and, oddly enough, do get the occasional message. A couple of weeks ago I started messaging two guys on a semi-regular basis: one of them more desirable due to proximity, one of them more desirable based off of the number of "MPs" (i.e.: matching points - the higher the number of MPs, the more compatible the two people supposedly are), one of them a bit more...for lack of a better word at this point...opinionated, one of them almost annoyingly upbeat, neither one of them seemingly able to provide a decent picture of their face (very superficial of me, I know, but I like to look at eyes and lips...not only at full-body pics...oh well, better than the guys who don't provide any pictures at all, I guess...and yes, I put up a picture of myself...and yes, it's actually of me and not someone like Megan Fox/Charlize Theron/Stana Katic/my sister/etc...not that I would ever think about doing that).
After exchanging a few messages, one of the guys asked me about my stance on phone calls, so I tried to be honest without being a complete buzzkill. Some of you are probably already aware of this, but conversing via the phone is not my strong suit, not unless the person on the other end is Miss Chatty Cathy. I'm a good listener, I like to listen, and if you ask me questions, I will answer (most of the time). However, actively talking to a faceless voice? Not really my cup of tea. I prefer e-mail and face-to-face conversations (text messaging and Skype don't count). I did provide him with my cellphone number because I figured "What the hell! He's probably not gonna call anyways." Lo and behold, I didn't hear anything from him for almost a week...and then my phone rang earlier today (or yesterday evening, depending on when I get around to publishing this entry). Yes, it was him. He has a pleasant voice, which is good, and the beginning of our conversation went over well...until it was my turn to ask him something. So what did I do? Essentially it was "Tell me something about yourself. About your background." Why the f*** would I say something stupid like that?! It initially made sense to me because we had been talking a bit about my background, so why not ask him about his. Besides, I wasn't actually counting on him calling anymore, so you're going to have to forgive me for being caught off guard (at least a little bit). But yes, it was a bit of a rookie mistake (I guess?), and I was chastised for it. Supposedly, you can't just sit down next to someone and say something like that. I guess in the world of dating and relationships that's a big no-no...maybe even in general. Considering that we're still getting to know each other and that this was our first phone call, I wasn't really expecting to receive a lesson on etiquette. Well, not really etiquette in that sense, but kinda. As a result, I felt mildly aggravated and humiliated and a part of me just wanted to pull the emergency brake and get off the train at that point. In retrospect (since it's already been like seven hours), the feeling reminded me a bit of when I was younger and had to listen to my father lecture me on something that most people probably wouldn't have even noticed (or if they had, they would've made their slight disapproval known in a slightly less grand manner...my father isn't actually a bad guy...no seriously, he's not). Of course, now I'm thinking "Great! You make me feel stupid, just like my father and grandmother did/do occasionally... Let's get married!" We talked for a bit afterwards (I'll spare you the details), and as we encountered another incredibly awkward moment of silence, I decided to use it to end the conversation. I told him that I needed to make dinner (which I did), and asked him if we should set up a time for another phone call (supposedly, I can call him whenever...which kinda irks me...just a bit...it's kinda a lackadaisical attitude). Right now, I just get the feeling that he might belong to the group of people who have a tendency to talk down to me, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt because we haven't actually met in person. Who knows, maybe things will get better once I've gotten used to talking to him... I'm just not overly optimistic (I mean, optimistic according to my standards) about this right now.
Oh well, it's not like I know how this dating stuff works. I had to actively pursue my last boyfriend, and the only other relationships I had were during elementary school, so a looooooong time ago (Those were so much easier: "Hey! I like the way you run. Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" *sigh* I'm so old...).
So yeah, that was my super depressing update about my "love" life. I still feel like someone punched me in the stomach (but I think I already felt like that prior to the phone call...), so hopefully that will pass. I dunno, maybe I'm overthinking things (I do tend to do that...)...
Alright, it's bedtime for me, probably not for you, but good night anyways!
I'll try to come up with more stuff to talk about for next week (hopefully). Then again, I have to take four exams next week, so I might have suffered a nervous breakdown by that point.
Regardless, take care!
