Happy New Year's...I guess

Okay, I don't want to ruin New Year's Eve for everyone, so I'm just going to say: Have a great New Year's Eve and an amazing 2007!

Take care everyone,
Bettina

Quizzes Galore...Part One

Hey people,

Well, this is my more upbeat post...finally.
I hope everyone had a good Christmas.
Enjoy these test results, take these tests, let me know about your results, and yeah, I'll try and write about something more relevant next time (or simply at a later time).

Take care,
Bettina

You Are Strawberry Pocky

Your attitude: fresh and sweet Comforting, yet quirky ... quietly hyper You always see both sides to everything

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

You Are Best Described By...

Sleep by Salvador Dali

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

You Are a Lemon Margarita

Sour, tangy, and overpowering, you tend to give people a jolt back into reality. While you don't sugar coat things, you're honest - which is actually quite refreshing.

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

Your Pickup Line Is

What's a sexy hottie like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

The Magical Pick Up Line Generator

Star Wars Horoscope for Cancer

You may whine at times, but you've developed a thick hard shell (like that of a crab). You are strong willed and persistent - until you get what you want. You never shy away from a fight, even when things get dangerous. Mentally sharp, you are starting to master the elements of mind manipulation. Star wars character you are most like: Luke Skywalker

What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

A bit of a crisis?

Okay...so I do have something to write about, but I think it is quite stupid, at least part of me does. I just pretty much don't want to be who I am right now. I guess I've reached the point where I want to be wanted in any and every possible way. I want to be desired...probably even lusted after.
The problem with that is, I am not the person others want/desire/lust after. Even my boyfriend has a completely different type of woman he wants...and I get it. It's the same way with almost everybody else, but I have absolutely nothing in common with his fantasy girl...well, other than the being female part. Usually, your partner has at least one attribute in common with your fantasy...
These are the things that at least I think are wrong with me: I am too tall, too heavy, my breasts are too big, my voice is all wrong, my hair is off, and my face in general is just completely wrong. If anything at all, I'm the type of girl you're friends with and you might even consider marrying, but not really one you want.
Sorry, I don't mean to put myself down... I feel especially bad because I promised someone I consider to be very close to me that I wouldn't insult myself, but this just completely overcame me and I don't want something as stupid and silly and vain as this to eat away at me.
So, I would also like to apologize to this close friend of mine for writing this message. You can always lecture me on it later. I'm trying to not insult myself and to not beat myself up, but it's just so damn hard...especially now and I'm not sure why.
Well, I hope everyone is doing okay and I'll try to write a more upbeat message the next time around.

Take care everyone.

Anonymous is not Anonymous anymore

Well, it turns out that I do know the "new" Anonymous. I guess I just wasn't expecting this person to make the comments he/she made. Honestly, I can't believe that I couldn't figure out who it was...
Oh well, this is pretty much all I wanted to write about. I am at a creative low and any attempt at writing something deep and meaningful would just burn and crash. So, I'll just let some music do the talking.

Who are you Anonymous?

You know, I'm usually good with figuring out who my "anonymous" people are, but I'm stumped this time.

So, I'm going to list your comments, and I would really like for you to contact me, outside of this blog, so at least I know who you are.

First: From my post "A little somethin' somethin'" written on Tuesday, November 14th

anonymous said:
"I don't know what to say - I have had moments like this before, but you know it would not be a solution it only would present me with more thoughts of this kind! I know this sounds selfish, but I want to be selfish if it saves you!!!"

My response to this: Why would you be selfish? I think it's really sweet that you're willing to be selfish to save me, but since I can't really figure out who you are, I don't know what to say...it's odd, yet sweet. However, I really appreciate your comment on this! :)

Second: From my post "How dumb am I really?" written on Thursday, November 16th

anonymous said:
"Great! You are smarter than me!"

My response: Huh...I only know one other person who took this... So, I have to wonder... Are you who I think you are? Or are you someone completely different?

Yes, that was very vague of me, but this person must have a reason why he/she listed him/herself as anonymous, so I don't want to state my assumptions on this blog.

So, new person, who are you? Tell me. I don't mind the comments that are listed as anonymous, but I am curious and would like to know if I already know you. If you can't figure out a way to contact me off of this blog, just post another comment in response to this post, but I think that my profile should show you a way to contact me...

Okay, that's all from me for now.

Take care everyone!

Erster deutscher Eintrag

Hallo meine Lieben!

Dies hier wird mein erster deutscher Eintrag auf dieser Blog sein. Manche von euch werden sich sicherlich fragen wieso ich jetzt auf einmal auf deutsch schreibe. Die meisten von euch werden diesen Eintrag aber ueberhaupt nicht oder kaum verstehen koennen. Na ja, ich red' zwar noch ziemlich viel auf deutsch, aber ich kriege nicht besonders viele Gelegenheiten um auf deutsch zu schreiben (ich sollte Oma vielleicht ab und zu mal was schreiben).
Tja...was gibt's denn sonst noch so zu schreiben?
Mensch! Jetzt faellt mir nichts mehr ein! Ein anderes Mal vielleicht...
Also, passt gut auf euch auf!

Bis spaeter

Changes and other mundane things

Ohayoo minasan,

I hope everyone is doing okay! I'm not quite sure how I'm doing, but I think that my medication is making me slightly nauseous...probably because I haven't been taking it regularly...*cough, cough*... Don't worry, I'm working on it.

First off, important announcement: My dear family and friends, let me know what you want for Christmas! You might not get it right on Christmas, but you will get it during that timeframe (unless something goes horribly wrong)!!!!

Secondly, as you can probably tell (well, maybe not...) I have changed a few things on this baby.

1) The color: I was getting sick of that shade of pink and even though I don't like like this color too much either, it still looks more "me" than the pink did. I'm also pretty sure that most of you will appreciate the change in color as well. I like pink, but not all shades of it and even then only in moderation.

2) I added on a picture...not much else to say about that.

3) Links: I switched some of them around...most of them to be more precise...and then I added on a new link. Trifthen is now my first link because...well, I visit his site the most often (even if he thinks that like only one person ever reads his posts...and I doubt that he was talking about me!). The new link is the fourth one on the list, which is listed as Metal Angel. This link leads to the LiveJournal of the author of Indecent, Sarah Katherine Lewis.

4) Christmas list: Yes, I posted one (underneath the Links section). Several people have asked me what I want and this is a list of things that I...well, want. I know that the list is long, but that's because I wanted to give everyone a whole bunch of things to choose from. Of course, I listed the items from the ones I would like to have the most to the ones that can wait, but that doesn't mean that I'm expecting to get the items at the top of the list (with the exception of the first item listed - the letter).

5) Who's hot list: I posted a list of who I think are the most attractive people in the world (underneath the Blog Archive section). They are listed in alphabetic order because I haven't been able to come up with a satisfying order yet. It also doesn't show all of the people that I put on the list because it is longer than my Christmas list. In the near future, hopefully as soon as finals are over, I will do my best to dedicate a post to each of the people on this, with pictures and/or video clips. So, even if I don't end up showing the whole list, you'll know who's on it either way.

I think that's all I have to say about blog changes...

So, I guess it's on to the other mundane stuff!

Tonight CBS will be showing the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at 10/9c, which I fully intend on watching...and umm...taping...

Oh no...hahaha...I completely forgot what else I wanted to write about...*sigh* That's just depressing...

Okay people, I had a good run at this, but I'm way out of steam (didn't know I had any to run on to begin with...), sooo, I'll write something else later.

Since I'm currently in such a poppy mood, musically, I thought I'd share this with you:



Take care people *mwah*

An Indecent Review (don't read if you can't deal with anything remotely sexual)

Have you ever wondered what really goes on behind the closed doors of a strip club? Those sort of hidden and somewhat shady-appearing "massage parlors" or "tanning salons"?
Have you ever wondered what kind of a woman would choose to work in the adult entertainment industry?
If you have, then Indecent is *the* book for you. If you haven't...well, I would still say that this book is worth skimming through at least. Who knows, maybe you'll even find it worth actually reading... ;)
Written by a former sex worker (even though last I checked she was still working in the adult entertainment industry), Sarah Katherine Lewis gives her readers a rather sobering image of what actually goes on in this industry. I'm not going to say that the book was all good. There were some areas of the book that went by rather slowly, other areas were not as fleshed out as I would have liked them to be, and at some parts it just felt like she did not like anyone other than her colleagues. However, as life usually goes, not all is as it seems and I found out that Sarah Katherine Lewis is an unbelievably kind and sincere human being.
Her writing might seem harsh or vulgar to some at times, but overall, she reminds you of one of your friends. (At least that was the case with me.) She even manages to bring quite a bit of humor to an industry that seems to be unbelievably serious and in some areas more than just plain disgusting.
Another area of note is the way this autobiography is divided up. You do not only see the standard chapters, but also subchapters. Both the chapters and subchapters have their own unique titles, such as Holy Hand Jobs and Pussy Sweatshop as chapter titles, and various song titles as the subchapter titles.
One of the things I liked the most about Indecent, other than the book in general, was how Sarah K. Lewis described her journey from being an adult entertainment "virgin" to becoming a kind of jack...or jill of all trades in the sex industry.
Her use of vivid descriptions helps the reader step inside the world and mind of a sex worker...regardless of whether it is Ms. Lewis talking about her on-the-job "training" at a "tanning salon", her customers somehow being mysteriously and maybe even subconsciously drawn to each other's bodily fluids, her feelings about a special breed of customers she calls "relaters", how even doctors can become completely ignorant jerkwads once most or all of their blood manages to flow to their other head, or even her mentioning something as seemingly common as body image issues off and on throughout the book.
Overall, this book is a great read. You do not even have to be obsessed with sex, as I obviously seem to be to, to be able to somewhat like this book. Some of you might be disgusted with a few parts of this book, but I'm sure that if you take a look at each of your lives up until now, you should be more than able to find something that others might find remotely disgusting. Yes, life can also be highly disgusting at times...get used to it.
The way I see this book is that it is more a peek at a woman's journey in one of the most controversial and toughest industries that the free world has to offer. I can also pretty much guarantee that after you have read this book, you will most likely be ever so slightly grateful for the job you have, even though once you boil sex work down to its basic components, you will be hard-pressed to find any major differences (if any at all) between sex work and any other type of job in the service sector.
Well, that is it for me. Please let me know how you like Indecent should any of you decide to read it.

Thanks everyone! Hope you liked my review.
Love you all and thank you Sarah for responding to my message! I can't tell you how happy I was to read it!

Hugs and kisses

Endspurt!

Yes people, it is that time of the semester again. Just two more weeks and then...FINALS...whoooooo!!!!

No, I am definitely not drunk...or drugged. If anything, I am just unbelievably tired and I have a headache or migraine...don't know which. For those of you who have a life...(here's a hint: if you're reading this, you obviously don't, but no worries...neither do I) here is what you missed: I ended up having to go to the Quad Cities for an ultrasound and a sleep study. Yeah, THAT went well...
Thanks to the stomach flu, I now have to redo my sleep study. Aside from that, I recently found out that I have to set up another ultrasound. Not just any ultrasound though people because that would be relaxing...to me. No, I'm talking about a transvaginal ultrasound...yeah, think about that one for a few. I'm not going to say anything else about that until a later post though.

All I have to say is: Ganbatte minasan!
If you don't have finals to worry about...well, lucky you, but I'm sure you have other things to deal with, right? So, good luck with those things then!

And to all my wonderful friends, I love you all!
If you ever need or want to talk to me, you know where to find me, for I am never far from you.
Hugs and kisses!!

For Kicks And Giggles

The following video is from a German movie, well, actually parody of Star Trek. It's made by the crew of the Bullyparade (look it up if you're interested). If you belong to the unfortunate few of my American friends who I've subjected to this movie, then you should enjoy it. Heck, even without having seen this movie, you should find this video at least somewhat amusing.
Viel Vergnuegen!

Oomph! Video

Hello everyone,

I have a video I would like to share with you. It's...I think, the newest music video from one of my favorite bands Oomph!. They are a German group and their music just really strikes a chord with me. I just love their music...
So, enjoy and tell me what you think about it and/or if you want see more of their videos! Take care!

New playlist

As some of you may have noticed, I put up some music for your enjoyment...well, fine, for my enjoyment... Since I have the same set of songs on both this blog and my Tagged site, I thought I'd change things a little, so now I put a completely new set of songs.
If you didn't notice, then fine...there's not much I can say about that, right?
Here is a list of the songs on my current playlist (and yes, you can switch through them):
1. Some Girls (Dance With Women) - JC Chasez (What?! I actually think he's okay! I mean, he can't be worse than Justin Timberlake...)
2. 100 Ways - JC Chasez
3. Shake It - JC Chasez
4. All Day Long I Dream About Sex - JC Chasez
5. How Much Is The Fish - Scooter
6. Creep - Dannii Minogue
7. I Begin To Wonder - Dannii Minogue
8. Hey! (So What) - Dannii Minogue
9. On The Loop - Dannii Minogue
10. Push - Dannii Minogue
11. Mystified - Dannii Minogue
12. Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling - Dannii Minogue
13. Come Into My World - Kylie Minogue
14. In Your Eyes - Kylie Minogue
15. Pop - NSync (This song is actually pretty decent.)
16. Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart (I was actually looking for the newer version that was released in 2002, but I couldn't find it.)
17. Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson

So, have fun people! :)

Sexual Style

Do I need to say anything else about this? I think I need to get my boyfriend's opinion on this one... ;)

You scored as Hot. You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you. Hot 75% Violent 69% Exciting 69% Shy 56% Wet 56% Soft 50% Awkward 31% Sweet 31% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

How dumb am I really?

According to this, obviously not that dumb, or I'm just extremely lucky. However, if I look at my track record with being lucky, I'm going to go with the "not being that dumb" answer.

A little somethin' somethin'

I decided to write about something today that seems to be all too familiar to me. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. If you're bothered by the lack of punctuation or anything in that area, remember that it's supposed to be like that way. I guess it is more a stream of thought...so enjoy, that is, if you enjoy stuff like this...

I'm sitting here
alone in the bathroom
looking at the knife in my hand
My hand is shaking uncontrollably
as if something inside is resisting the temptation
The temptation to end it all
the irresistible urge to escape from this cage
Why I am doing this?
What exactly am I thinking?
Something inside of me is stirring
something darker and more dangerous than anything else in this universe
It speaks to me
its words sharper than the knife I am holding
What's wrong?
What are you afraid of?
You have nothing to lose
Nobody cares about you
Nobody will miss you
Nobody will notice that you're gone
You are worthless
You can't do anything right
Not even this
My whole body is trembling
I can barely breathe
My heart feels like it's going to explode
Tears are rolling down my face
What is the big deal anyway?
All I have to do is make a few strategically placed cuts
No, I can't!!!!
With a renewed outburst of tears and a sense of frustration
I throw the knife into the bathtub
Does this mean I'm done?
Hardly
I take a handful of pills
I don't even know what they are all for
All I know is that they will take away the pain
for a few hours at least
As I get up
I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror
No...it's not mine
It's the image of my enemy
The image of someone worthless
someone who doesn't deserve to live
I feel my blood start to boil
and as I stare her in the eyes
I punch her
The glass shatters
and my hand starts to bleed
it starts to hurt
but I don't care
As I lick the blood off of my hand
I can't help but feel some odd sense of fulfillment
and satisfaction

What's up little man?

Yesterday was quite interesting... The strain of cold I have currently managed to knock me out cold until it was too late to go to class. This didn't really make me happy, but there's not much I can do if my body is practically forcing me into a time out. I still went to work though, which might not have been smart, but I need to earn money, so I don't have many legal options in that area. After work, I went to the mall to say hi to my boyfriend and to have my hair cut. This is where I saw him, a little boy came into the salon with his dad and he didn't look happy at all. I thought it was kind of cute because he seemed to be pouting for the heck of it. So, I'm looking at this kid and all of a sudden, he turns to stare at me. Not look, stare. I actually felt like someone had slapped me, so I tried not to continue looking at this kid. Now, not many people make me feel like this, let alone a child, but for some odd reason, he made me feel really uncomfortable. So, the dad and his son sit down in the chairs next to me, and what happens a few minutes later? This little boy is starting to burn holes in the side of my head with all of the staring he's doing. There were a few moments when I actually wanted to face this kid and ask "What is your problem?!". I didn't want to do that next to the boy's father though and I don't think I would've done it anyway. However, if his father hadn't been right there, I would've stared right back since that usually puts an end to it. Somehow I get the feeling though, that staring back at this particular guy, would not have stopped him from staring.
Ah well, what can you do?
I, however, need to get ready to go to class.

Talk to everyone soon,
Bettina

Sex on the brain

Okay, so maybe it's me being sick for the third time during the last 30 days, maybe it's my hormones...I don't know...but right now, I am constantly thinking about sex. Now, I'm in a relationship with a person I really love, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about who to have sex with, how much, how long, how rough, what positions, etc. I feel like Jessica Alba's character in Dark Angel, Max Guevera, who had cat genes mixed in with her DNA, which had the great effect of sending her into a sexual frenzy every so often. This makes for an absolutely hilarious episode, or in some cases a somewhat sad episode, when she ends up sleeping with some guy, even though she loves Logan. However, it's not very funny when you experience something similar in real life...at least not when there isn't much you can do about it... So, I can't actually have sex because...I have a boyfriend who wants to wait (I respect this choice, I'm not blaming him for my dilemma), which means that my code of ethics forbids me from doing anything stupid...and I can't or don't feel comfortable masturbating since I am currently having my period and whatnot...so I am really trying to get at least some of the sex out of my head.
So yeah, I'm sick in more ways than one...but what else is new... As much as I like sex (this doesn't necessarily pertain to intercourse alone), and as much as it is an inherent part of all of us, I don't want to have to think about it all the time, especially with me feeling as weak and dizzy as I am at the moment...
Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing fine and I'll write again soon.

Baibai

Updates

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to inform everyone of two new links that I have put in my Links section. Of course, you can't see all of that information right off because it has all been shoved down to the bottom of this page. I know that there's probably a way to fix it, but it's still here, so I don't really care too much.
Anyway, updates. New links. Yeah.
Both of them have to do with me because I have decided to start a Myspace and since I have been "tagged" by two of my friends, I now have also joined that community. I made both of the sites accessible to the public, so you should be able to take a look at them.
If you want to take a look at them, you can either scroll all the way down to my Links section and you will find them listed as "Bettina on Tagged" and "Bettina on Myspace". That way you can also take a look at some other interesting links that may not be new, but pretty much all of them lead to the sites of my friends, so show them some love! One I especially recommend is the link listed as Trifthen because there's always something interesting to read and it's very well-written.
However, if you're too lazy to scroll down (sit back down and stop pouting...I'm extremely lazy right now too), I will just list them in this post:
1) http://www.tagged.com/benedettasophia
2) http://www.myspace.com/benedettasophia
Should you feel the urge to write any comments about any of my posts on my Tagged and Myspace sites, just write it in the comments section of the latest post here, or write me a message (if you know my e-mail address).
Okay, I'm done.

Have a good night,
Bettina

Something Gorier Than The Bloodiest Horror Movie

Well, just when you thought you were safe, something pops up and grabs you from behind, or in this case, lays in the toilet bowl and waits to be discovered...
As some of you might recall, I am having issues with one of my roommates. Well, that most certainly hasn't changed...but it does seem like he's trying to outdo himself every now and then.
So, what did he do yesterday? First, when I informed him of his current debt, he pretty much snapped back: "You already told me that". Of course, this was what it sounded: "Would you shut up already?! I don't want to deal with you or my debt. You're getting my (expletively deleted) nerves".
I almost took his head off for that response, but instead I just told him: "No, I didn't tell you about the most current amount you owe...but don't worry, it will increase". Of course, I used the most appropriate tone I could without yelling at him or beating him up for that.
Now, getting back to the toilet...
My boyfriend was on his way to bed and needed to use the bathroom upstairs, when, all of sudden, he asked me to come upstairs with a really worried look on his face. Since he was looking at the bathroom, I thought that my "special" roommate had, yet again, left the bathroom door open and the toilet lid up, which pisses me off enough as it is... However, I shouldn't be so lucky this time because as I walked closer to the bathroom, I saw that this jerk had managed to not flush the toilet, so I could practically tell what he had had to eat. The thing that made it even more disgusting was that there was absolutely no toilet paper in the toilet bowl...
So yeah, I had a fun end to my day.
Sorry if I ruined anyone else's day...

Take care everyone and ja mata,
Bettina

Here's to you Dad

I am posting this to show my dad that, obviously, you can never be too young to be sarcastic. So, Dad, be proud of your completely sarcastic daughter because she won't be going anywhere.
Yet again, take this test if you can and want, and please let me know what you got.

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

Take care,
Bettina

What Story Character Am I?

Which Classic Story Role Do You Play?

- You Are The Outlaw
"Sure, I'll do it. My way."

Just because you do not conform to the same laws and rules as everyone else does not mean that you are a bad guy. You travel your own path, separate from those around you, with your own reasons for doing what you do. Because of this and your own nature, it goes without saying that you are generally misunderstood. That does not matter much, though, as people love you for being who you are. You are pretty well set in your ways and have no real intention of changing. This can come across as a flicker of arrogance if your not careful. You do what is right for you, and God help anyone who stands in your way.
Take this quiz!








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Today's Test Results are in

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING REMOTELY SEXUAL, PLEASE SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST.

Curvy and Naughty Raw score: 66% Big Breasts, 45% Big Ass, and 40% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to larger breasts, larger asses, and sexier composures than others who've taken the test. Note that you like women overall curvier than average. My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sexier, naughtier look. Kudos! Recommended Celebrities: Supermodel Laetitia Casta and Actress Angelina Jolie.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on tit-size You scored higher than 99% on ass-size You scored higher than 99% on cuteness

Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Not dead...yet

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to show everyone that I am still somewhat alive. I am pissed off (but what else is new in that area) and I'm tired and I'm depressed... Everything seems to be going horribly wrong and I can't seem to do anything right.
My bank is being uncharacteristically stupid, since they put the money I deposited last week on hold and finally lifted the hold today...after my rent check bounced yesterday.
Of course, everyone had such bright ideas, which they shared with me after I had deposited the money. Now, in addition to everything else, I feel incredibly dumb. I know that we all need to make our own mistakes, but finances are an area you can't afford to make mistakes in.
Ah well, this was supposed to be me saying "Hi, I hope everyone is okay." and not another rant.
All I want to do is play the "Start Over" card at this point in my life. You know, just die and be reborn. Maybe I'll make it to 25 on my next round...
Sorry, for the incredibly depressing post...

Take care,
Bettina

Response to comments

I know that I'm not doing too well, and I'm fully aware that there are people out there suffering from potentially fatal heart conditions or from depleted uranium. It doesn't console me because then I imagine what those people must feel like. It angers me because I want to do something to help, but can't.
Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing sort of decent. I'm slowly recovering, but I do feel waves of aggression washing over me, which really isn't anything new these days...
Oh well, I need to get to bed.

All of my love out to everyone,
Bettina

Issues

Well, after a very stressful summer, my biological clock screwing around with me, an ovarian cyst that likes making itself known every now and then, a roommate who is still pissing me off (but who now at least has a job), money shortage, online courses to finish up, forms that need to be filled out, doctors who need to be seen, a cold having managed to spring up on me (which is now gone), a wrist that mysteriously hurts, and all of the regular stuff that needs to be taken care of, it seems that it has finally all caught up with me. I am saying this because I missed going to my classes today, which I feel absolutely horrible about! I went to bed at my usual time and I set my alarm, so I guess that I'm just completely worn out now. I wrote one of my professors apologizing and explaining why I wasn't in class. He responded that if I was worried about my grade, I should go to the health center on campus and have them check on me and write me a note. There are a few problems that I have with that: 1) It's on campus and I live about 30 minutes outside off campus, 2) umm, I'm not going to visit a doctor who will tell me that the majority of my pain was caused by something called menstruation, and 3) I'm also not going to go see a doctor to write me a note about having a cold. Unfortunately, I should probably go see a doctor about my wrist, but I already told myself that if the pain's still there in a month or it gets drastically worse within the next week or so...then I'll go see a doctor. Other than that, I know that I'm doing well enough in school to not be overly worried about my grades.
I really don't know why I typed this post...I guess I just wanted to get rid of some steam...
Okay, I guess I'll end the post here and go bang my head into a table or wall several times.

Tschuess! *mwah*

New Test Results

Neo-Liberal You scored 45% Personal Liberty and 27% Economic Liberty!

A neo-liberal believes in moderate government intervention on personal matters and moderate to high government intervention on economic matters. They believe in a social safety net or welfare state and try to balance personal liberty with safety or security. Some neo-liberals believe in more foreign intervention or war then most other leftists. Others are more like Centrist Democrats. More authoritarian-leaning Neo-liberals (such as personal 40/economic 30) are the result of a "fusion" between "old left" and "new right" tendencies.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 14% on Personal You scored higher than 10% on Economic

Link: The Politics Test written by brainpolice on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

the Perfectionist Thanks for taking the test !

you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE. "I do everything the right way" Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. How to Get Along with Me Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work. Acknowledge my achievements. I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am. Tell me that you value my advice. Be fair and considerate, as I am. Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive. Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first. What I Like About Being a One being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal working hard to make the world a better place having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people What's Hard About Being a One being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met feeling burdened by too much responsibility thinking that what I do is never good enough not being appreciated for what I do for people being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am obsessing about what I did or what I should do being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously Ones as Children Often criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers are very responsible; may assume the role of parent hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry") Ones as Parents teach their children responsibility and strong moral values are consistent and fair discipline firmly Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATE it... but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-) you wanna know MORE? so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type... ...even more you'll find in Google or do you prefer to You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose CZ Would you rather have chosen: AZ (THREE) BZ (FIVE) CX (TWO) CY (SIX)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on ABC You scored higher than 0% on XYZ

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Whoo! More links

Well, I finally managed to add on two more links to my links section. The first one is listed as "I am a Japanese Teacher", which is a mostly amazingly funny set of stories written by a young man, who entered the JET program (which allows you to go overseas as an assistant teacher...well, that's one of JET's programs) and was sent to Japan. So, these stories are the incredible experiences that this man has while teaching in Japan.
The second new link is listed as "Chris in Japan", which is pretty self-explanatory, much like the aforementioned link... Chris is a good friend of mine, who will be spending some time studying in Japan, so he has decided to document his adventures abroad via the internet.
Actually, Chris is the person who had originally sent me the "I am a Japanese Teacher" link. So, here I am spreading the wealth...
Ah well, it's late, I'm tired and still in pain, so I guess I'll talk some more at a later time.

Take care, everyone.

New test

Lawful Good You scored 67% Law vs Chaos and 66% Good vs Evil!

Keep this in mind, before you read this and take it too seriously... This test is based on a system of moral absolutes. There is no subjectivity in D&D, as it is based on a fantasy world of heroes and villains. That is why their alignment system is so simple and polar. So naturally, if I were to apply this simple morality to modern day life, things would look very "black and white". That is why I watered down the concept of evil and good. It is very unlikely that anyone who takes this test is a mass murderer or a superhero, so Mean vs. Nice will have to take the place of good vs. evil. Lawfulness and Good in a nutshell: -Lawful characters are organized and rational. They believe that order is important, and they respect authority. They tend to be fairly rigid in their beliefs and behavior, but this is not always the case. -Good characters believe in doing the right thing. They help others when possible, and they are usually friendly. Your Alignment: "Crusader" Lawful Good, eh? I hope you're proud of yourself. It's easy to live by the rules, but not so easy to have a strong conscience. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do both and not go insane. It's possible that you are a bit holier-than-thou, but not necessarily. At least you mean well. Way to go!

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Law vs Chaos You scored higher than 99% on Good vs Evil

Link: The D&D Alignment Test written by ShatteredGlass1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Nothing in particular

Well, I would like to thank Shaun and Anonymous for their wonderful ideas. I've basically come to the conclusion that if he doesn't start paying by Nov. 1st, he will have to move out. Supposedly, he got a call from McDonald, but I don't know what's going on with that exactly. I must be a horrible person because a part of me wants him to screw up and to keep on not paying, but that's probably because he's already pissed me off more than enough.
Right now, I should be in class, but my mind and body have been working so hard lately that I've caught a slight cold, both of my knees hurt, my right ankle hurts, my left wrist hurts, my head hurts, and so on. There is some good news though, due to all of the stressful events that have or had been going on for the last month or two, I didn't have my period last month and with the way things were going this month, I was afraid that the same thing was going to happen. Fortunately, my period started up again yesterday, which, despite all the additional pain and fatigue that it is giving me, I am very happy about.
Other good news: My boyfriend is now employed and I have a job I am happy with. Bad news: My boyfriend is going to put himself further into debt to help pay the rent and other bills, I'm going to use up all of the money in my account to do the same, and I am going to have to ask one of my roommates (the one with a job and money) to pay more than his share for now.
Anyway, I should be ending this post now because there are bills to be paid, mail to be sent out, people to be called, kids to be watched, books to be read, homework to be done, exams to be studied for, people to be pissed off at, so...yeah.

Have a nice day everyone. *wave, wave, wave, wave*

Completely and utterly beside myself

I never thought I would have to do this, but it has already gotten to this point: Having to hide the remote control from one of my roommates.
First of all, let me bring everyone up to speed on this: When I started this blog, I lived in Iowa City with my boyfriend. At the beginning of 2006, we took in one of our mutual friends, who really wasn't getting along with his father and needed to get away from him. During 2006, amidst making plans to move to a different city in a different state, I had agreed to take in another one of my boyfriend's friends. I only did this because I knew he had had a job at the time, he was planning on moving to the same area as we were anyway, I had heard that he, too, was having issues with his father, and...it seemed like a good idea at the time.
However, I should have known better, and so far, these are a few things that he has been doing: taking his sweet time in the employment area, sleeping in the basement, showing up late for his first day at his new job, jumping down the stairs to the basement because it "seemed like a good idea at the time" and having to go to the hospital due to a head injury, questioning everything he is asked to do, spending money he doesn't have, using our possessions without asking our permission, spreading out into all areas of the duplex, not paying any part of the rent or utilities, and so on...
So, that leads me to today's reason to be pissed off at him: I am not feeling well at all, I am on medication, my right knee hurts soooo much, and I am still going to school and work today. And where do I find this enormous prick? In the living room, watching football, eating breakfast, still awake from the night before, and when he finally did turn the TV back off, he went back downstairs, which is where he'll continue to sit in front of his computer, probably fall asleep (you have a friggin' room, you moron!!!), and then he'll probably refuse to help with any of the housework...among various other things.
You see, it just seems like he is mooching off of everyone here, and now he has even managed to invade what little "me"-time I have.
Sorry, I am just soooo pissed off right now...and I still have the whole day ahead of me...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I need to get ready to leave for school, I can't stay here, at least not for the next few hours.
Okay, I hope that everyone else is having a more pleasant day than I am right now.

Take care and kisses all around!

Look, a kitty!

Well, this is a picture of my baby Yumeko. Of course, she is quite a bit bigger now, but I will post some more current pictures as soon as I can.
Hmm, there are plenty of other things that I could write about in this post, but that can wait until a later time.

Take care.

OH NO!!!

Please go to http://www.savestargatesg1.com and read up on what you can do to save Stargate SG-1. I will do as much as I can as well, so if you want to see one of the best series continue, then please do your part.

And most important of all:
WATCH STARGATE ON SCI-FI EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT!!!

You Are 26% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

New Test Results

Well, with all of the crap that has been going on, I'm not too surprised with this result...

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Birthdays everywhere

Hey, everyone!

With the summer months here, it seems that a higher number of people than usual are celebrating their birthdays. So, whose birthdays have come to pass so far?
Well, let's start with June...
June 1st: The daughter of my mother's oldest friend turned 21.
June 12th or 13th: My uncle (on my mother's side) turned...well, I don't know how old he is now; a mutual friend of a boyfriend and mine turned 19.
June 20's (not quite sure): Another friend of my boyfriend celebrated her birthday (sorry, don't know how old she is now either).
I also know that my former professor Adrienne also is a Cancerian, but I forgot on what day her birthday is and how old she is now.
Now onto July, at least until today...
July 1st: One of my dear friends from Germany turned 20; my boyfriend turned 21.
Yesterday, July 6th: The son of my mother's oldest friend turned 19; and I turned 21.

Well, what did I do for my birthday?
I managed to get my dad pissed off at me out of a really STUPID reason, but I was still supposed to have a nice day. I ended up having an emotional breakdown and almost wanted to bang my head into the wall and yell at my dad at the same time. Even though I wanted to throw my birthday out to the dogs, I ended up going out with my boyfriend to one of the local night clubs and had a few drinks. We both started off by having a martini each (they were half off last night). I had one with coconut rum and vodka, and my boyfriend had one called Tootsie Pop, with yes, a Tootsie Pop stuck in it. After that, I decided to try one of their margaritas. It had pineapple juice and blue curacao in it. In addition to that, I had a Bellini, some cucumber water, and since it was my birthday, I got to down a Burgundy Bomb with one of the waitresses, which was on the house, so that was nice.
And that was pretty much the extent of my birthday.
Oh well, I'm going to stop here, and hopefully, I'll be able to set up some pictures of my baby (an almost 10-week old, long-haired black kitten) Yumeko, and of my new hairdo.

Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing better than I am right now.

Take care...

Awww...

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Who'd have thunk it?

How true...

You Are The Moon

You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams. You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness. Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies. Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one. Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares. Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses. You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Test, Test, Test!

There isn't a whole lot for me to say about this, so enjoy, take the test, enjoy some more, tell me what you got on it, etc.

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Talk to everyone later.
Ja mata!

Duck on the Loose

End of Semester

Yay! The semester is over!
I don't know if I am overly happy about that though. I had to type a five-page paper based on my readings in my Japanese literature class instead of taking a traditional final. We had several topics to choose from, and I decided it would be great to write about the role and fascination of licensed quarters in the "floating world", thinking that there would be an abundance of material on this topic. However, I quickly found out that there was an abundance of sensual material, but a good chunk of it did not or only barely had anything to do with the licensed quarters. At that point though, it was too late to pick a new topic and start over.
Here I have a confession to make: As much as I wanted never to forget my medication again, I realized that I was running out of antidepressants. I did ask for refills, but to preserve gas, I can't drive back to the Quad Cities every week or so. I also didn't ask my mother to send me my meds because I didn't want to cause her any additional stress. So, I thought, "Ah, what the hell. I'll be okay without my antidepressants for two or three days.". Unfortunately, I started having withdrawal symptoms on the second day... I had dizzy spells, nausea, extreme drowsiness, my body would start to shake, etc.
Needless to say, I could hardly concentrate on concentrating, let alone on a paper.
In the end, I wasn't able to fill out five pages, it was a few minutes late, and I really don't remember what I was writing about and/or if it made any sense.
However, I'm still not finished with my coursework. I have two courses that I need to finish: One on statistical methods and the other on social psychology. I'm looking forward to these because I can work at my own pace, but I still want to finish them before August.
Oh yay, the joys of my post-semester schedule, but I'm pretty happy that I at least have a vague schedule for the summer.
Okay, I'm done. No more bitching from me today.
Back to watching Dark Water (the original version, that is)...creepy.

Another Quiz

Well, this is pretty self-explanatory...

You are 93% Cancer

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

If you are interested in this quiz, just go to http://www.blogthings.com/astrologyquizzes.html and click on the appropriate astrology quiz. However, if you are curious, you could always go through each of these quizzes.

Okay, I'm off to going through more quizzes.

Happy Birthday!

Yes, another birthday... My brother turned 16 yesterday. He sounded very pleased with the way his birthday was going, so I was happy to hear that. He also sounded like he was looking forward to seeing me this weekend, but we'll see what happens between now and tomorrow. I still need to put together presents for my brother and my sister, but I don't really know what to give my mom for Mother's Day... Depending on the way my family acts, I might not even stay until Mother's Day, which makes me feel bad for Mom, but she doesn't even want to do anything anyway.
So, what else is new... My annual physical is tomorrow, my final paper is due tomorrow, my boyfriend is depressed and I don't know how to help him, I can't remember last night's dreams, and I'm tired and slightly dizzy. I think that pretty much sums my current situation up.
Now, I'm not even sure if I'm aggravated or depressed...or both, but I do know that I'm pretty hungry, so I'm going to fix that now.
Well, take care everyone, and I'll talk to you later.

Quick Break from Apocalypse Watch

Well, I have added a new link to my links section. It is listed as Fulltang and is for the livejournal of one of my good friends, who just set it up yesterday. So, it's still in the baby phase, I guess, but check it out and show your support!
Now, back to preparing for the apocalypse...or going to bed, whichever comes first.
A bientot, mes amis.

Bad dreams? Paranoia? Apocalypse?

If you were to ask my mother, she would tell you that one of the things that I have managed to keep from my childhood is my vivid imagination. I mean, we're talking about someone who was even sent to therapy because she told her parents that her Barbies went out shopping every time the lights were turned off!!
So, how do I make the connection between the previous sentences and this post's title? Well, recently I've experienced an increase in bad dreams, at least from what I can remember. I am also having this general feeling of impending doom (lots of underlying negative currents)... Oh, and let's not forget that I thought I was driving through Silent Hill last night due to some very dense fog that had managed to find its way into Iowa City. Even though I felt tempted to take pictures, I didn't get around to it...sorry. I was almost expecting to find a girl standing in the middle of the road...
Anyway...here are my theories (hypotheses, actually) as to what this all could mean or what the sources to this could be:
1) I am still processing the fact that three tornadoes touched down in Iowa City, which would explain why I've had two dreams with tornadoes. One of them featured a huge tornado (and a pregnant Angelina Jolie) and the other had tornadoes everywhere...and I mean everywhere (granted, one of them turned out to be three drag queens standing on each other, but I don't know how to explain that one...).
2) It's just the usual Bettina panic attack: Paranoia caused by an inborn anxiety disorder + Overly vivid imagination = CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!
3) Maybe I've been letting my family's situation get to me more than I would have liked...
4) Or, or...now stay with me on this one: It could be a sign of the apocalypse...psssh, psssh, not too loud. We don't want the men in the white jackets to find out about this theory quite yet.
5) Of course, it could always be a combination of the hypotheses 1-3. Not too sure if I should include 4 in that one...
Well, I am still none the wiser, even though my middle name does grant me lots of wisdom already, so let's just hope it's not the apocalypse...hihi.
Okay, I'll just retreat for now...with my aluminum hat...underneath a table...and I will (hopefully) write another post soon. ; )

So, take care and...beware of the signs...

D'oh...

You know, I can't expect anyone to take these tests and share their results if I haven't even bothered leaving links to them. So, here it is:

The Commonly Confused Words Test

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=14457200288064322170

Okay, I'm bowing out again. Baibai.
Talk to ya'll later! Ki o tsukete kudasai.

Atarashii tesuto

I recently took a test about my knowledge of the English language. It turns out that I haven't quite mastered it on the expert level yet, but I'm not far from it.
I got this from Devamon's livejournal, who, on the other hand, got it from one of his friends' livejournals, and so on.
Anyway, here are my results:

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 93% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.


My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


You scored higher than 60% on Beginner


You scored higher than 39% on Intermediate


You scored higher than 80% on Advanced


You scored higher than 87% on Expert


There you have you it. If you should take this test and notice differences between the way my results are listed and the way that OkCupid lists your results, well, that is because I tried to copy the HTML of my results, but there seems to be an issue with the images... So, I had to copy the text and after changing the fonts and whatnot, I am now able to finally post my results.
Oh, on a different note: Kwyndig has posted the second part of his fantasy/mystery/adventure story. Yay!
In addition to that, Adrienne has posted the first few chapters of an I-novel from one of her students, which I also think is great.
With that, I wish all of you happy reading and stay tuned for more fun tests, stories, and whatever else happens to cross my path.
Oyasumi nasai minasan! Ja mata, ne.

Updates

Hello everyone!

Soooo sorry for the delay! I'll do my best from here on out to post more often.
Anyway, now on to the actual message: One of my good friends, who is listed as Trifthen in the Links section, changed the name of his domain some time ago. So, it originally was kildosphere.com, but he has now changed it to bonesmoses.org. As for his old domain name, he still plans on using it, but I haven't seen, read, or heard anything new about it. However, I will definitely keep everyone posted on this issue.
Secondly, please check out Kwyndig's livejournal. He posted a great story as his April 27th (as far as I remember) post. I absolutely loved it! It seems to be a combination of mystery/fantasy/sci-fi and I can't wait to see if he'll continue this story. I hope he will...
So, if you're interested, click on the name Kwyndig in the Links section. Then you can tell me what you thought about it and I can give him your feedback, or you can post comments on his livejournal telling him what you thought about it yourselves.
Well, I have another post to work on, so I hope that it will be up in the next day or two.

Take care everyone and keep on reading.

Happy Birthday Dad and Sis!

Well, it's that time of year again...oh wait, this blog didn't exist at this time last year...hmmm. Anyway, on May 1st, my father turned 50 years old and on May 2nd, my younger sister turned 17. However, I don't think that they got the memo on how old they are actually supposed to be...
My father can't make up his mind if he wants to be 3, 8, or 110, and my sister thinks she can act and talk like a 25-35 year old, but still get the perks of being a minor.
Don't get me wrong, I love both of them...on some level or other. They have just been at each other's throats for way too long now, and neither of them wants to make compromises... I'm just happy that they have entered a stalemate. It is very sad that I am so worn out by this "war" because I don't live with my family anymore!
Okay, all of that ranting can be left for another day because this is supposed to be a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" message. So, again, happy birthday Dad and Sis (most you probably already know her name)! I hope that you both have a good year!
And with that, I will end this message because I have babysitting to attend to.

So, take care ya'll.

Commenting on a Comment

Okay...
First off, was that an offer to pay for me to go to Anime Central? If it wasn't, and it was just a suggestion to ask one of my friends who could afford it, I don't think that any of my friends could... Like I've mentioned before, my friends have more important things to spend their money on, and I, unfortunately, still don't have a steady job. Now on to the approximate costs of going to Anime Central: Gas: ~$40-45; Toll booths: ~$10; Parking: ~$20; Hotel room: ~$60-280 (depending on which hotel I were to stay in and on how many people I would be sharing a room with); Admission: ~$45; Food: ~$45-60; Misc.: the sky's the limit (even though if I were to go, I would like at some money for miscellaneous expenses since there are birthdays coming up, and ACen has some pretty cool stuff to buy). So, let's see...Anime Central would cost anywhere between $220 and $460 plus miscellaneous costs. Then there's still the issue that my boyfriend would also want to go, and I just think it's not fair to have told him that we're not going and then saying "See ya. If you wanna come too, you're gonna have to find your own sugar daddy or mommy". Plus, my boyfriend knows more people at these conventions, so it would probably be more worth his while, I guess...
Anyway, on to the next remark...ummm, well, thank you for the compliment! Sometimes I'm pretty good at writing and at other times I just suck, but that's just from my point of view. Other people might actually like most of my writing... And as to March 10th's post about the babysitting qualifications...yeah, it should probably be in a newspaper because I think it's an important issue and I'm probably not the only one. Parents (people in general) need to be aware of what they're asking for in a babysitter. I mean, just because you provided the semen or the egg and/or the womb for a child, that doesn't mean that you are granted with universal baby-rearing skills... If we were to set up the same qualifications for parents that they set up for babysitters, there would be far less children than there are now...hey, that would be a great population growth control method...hmmm... Anywho, even if we were to do such a thing, that doesn't guarantee that those parents would be good parents. So, yeah, thank you again for the compliment!
Well, I now get to play the guessing game about who wrote that comment... It's not my boyfriend because I already asked him; it's highly unlikely to be my professor from last semester (she usually uses her Blogger ID); it's not any of my German friends (they would have written in German and they probably don't the time to do much of anything); and it's probably not any of my American friends (most of them still don't know about my blog and all of those who do know about it, have yet to post a comment). So, who could it be? I'm going to go with my mother because she usually posts comments as "anonymous", and even though she didn't write in German, I just get her vibe through her writing, so I'm going to go with her.
However, I always have this twinge of doubt, so if the real "anonymous" could please stand up and either confirm or correct my guess, I would be very thankful.

Okay, that's all from me for today. You people take care and I'll write soon...I promise!!!

Next Top Model Shows: U.S.A. vs Germany

I really like America's Next Top Model because I like fashion and make-up and whatnot. I also like the fact that Tyra Banks doesn't place pressure on "her" girls to be superthin. I think that is very important because the contestants are probably already aware of the fact that the fashion industry prefers figures that are beyond skinny (at least I would be), so why would you want to place even more pressure on them.
Well, when I heard that there was going to be a Germany's Next Top Model...and that it was going to be hosted by Heidi Klum, I was really ecstatic and couldn't wait to see the contestants. Little did I know that the similarities end with the name and the fact that the hosts are both models. What differences could there be?
First of all, unlike the American version, all of the final contestants have similar measurements, and except for differences in eye and hair color, and other slight variations, I just couldn't see any personality in these girls' faces... I mean I have German friends who would be great models and who have developed great personalities over the years.
In addition to that, none of the contestants have a BMI (Body Mass Index) of at least 20. The highest I saw was 18, which pretty much means that these girls are all underweight. In case you don't know this, the normal range of BMI for women is 20-25 and for men it is 19-24. Granted, most of the contestants were 16-18, but they just didn't look good! And I would like to look at a model and go "She's hot!", and not "Mmmm...here's some food for you, honey.".
I mean, I get it that the BMI system isn't very accurate...when you're young, you tend to have a smaller BMI, a woman who has a BMI of 19 isn't necessarily underweight, a woman who has a BMI of 25 isn't necessarily skinny, people smaller heightwise tend to have higher BMIs, tall people tend to have smaller BMIs, and so on, but at least it is a decent guideline.
Oh well, I don't control the TV shows, or much of anything for that matter, but I'm just disappointed in Germany's Next Top Model...
If you have any thoughts or questions on the topic of BMI, Next Top Model, underweight versus overweight, or anything else related to this post, please feel free to post a comment.

Okay, baibai everyone.

This just in

Well, I just got done talking to my mother, and now I'm completely pissed off... I cannot believe that something like this happened in the USA, of all places! Last night we had lots and lots of rain, there were even tornado watches, and there was thunder and lightning. Here in Iowa City, everything went just fine, that is, considering what happened in Silvis (Illinois). Now my parents and siblings live in Silvis, and they pretty much had the same weather we did. Here is what pisses me off, the electricity went off last night/early this morning, and since those houses have electricity-driven pumps to keep the houses from getting flooded, and it took MidAmerican Energy 8 hours (!!!!) to turn the electricity back on, my parent's basement (which is also where they have the computers, the master bedroom, another living room, storage area, and so on) is now flooded. I just might understand that MidAmerican Energy was incapable of getting there earlier to turn the electricity back on, but now they won't even cover the cost of the damage caused by the flooding because it was a natural disaster. In addition to that, several people have already come up to my parents telling them that they should have gotten battery for a back-up pump. What. The. Hell?! MidAmerican never told them about this pump in the first place, so how should they have known that something like this could happen in the first place. And it is MidAmerican's fault because it usually never takes them 8 hours (!!!!) to get the electricity back up and running! 2 hours I understand. I even get 3 hours. However, 4 hours is already pushing it, let alone 8. And then they are unwilling to cover any costs!!!! I hate to sound typically American, but I do feel very tempted to sue MidAmerican Energy. I don't know, I'm just incredibly pissed off at the lack of responsibility being displayed here. Yep, 2006 is turning out to be a better year than 2005...(*sound of me banging my head into various objects*)

Project Runway Finale

Since I wasn't able to watch it when it actually aired, I'm glad that I eventually managed to catch it on Bravo. Well, we had the three finalists, Santino Rice, Chloe Dao, and Daniel Vosovic, show off their 13-piece collections at Olympus Fashion Week in NYC. All three of them managed to wow me, even though I would have liked to see Nick Verreos as one of the final three... And yes, his elimination still gets to me.
Back to the finale: Chloe Dao ended up winning the second season of Project Runway, so I am very very happy for her. Even if I could never wear any of her clothes (I couldn't wear the clothes from any of Project Runway's designers...figure-wise that is), I might still buy some of her clothes, hang them up or frame them, and just look at them...and work out like crazy. However, I would do the same with Nick's, Santino's, or Daniel's clothes.
Okay, enough from me for tonight...
And again, omedetoo (congratulations) Chloe Dao!

Baibai minasan!

Bitch, bitch, bitch, rant, rant, rant

Helas minasan!

This message will be about me complaining. Hence the title of this post. I am not too happy because I am searching for a steady job, and I haven't been too successful with that. One reason is that out of all of positions that need to filled, a huge portion of these are babysitter positions. I don't mind that because I know that I can look after kids. However, this is what gets me: Good 70% of the people looking for babysitters are looking for people who have certificates in CPR, have taken babysitter courses, are majoring in Elementary Education or Nursing, and the list of qualifications goes on. Essentially, these parents are looking for people who would be better parents than they are. I mean, how many of those parents have CPR certificates (valid ones)? How many have majored in Elementary Education or Nursing? I just think that if you, as a parent, do not meet your own qualifications that you are looking for in a babysitter, you shouldn't be allowed to make such high demands and be grateful to have someone who is "only" trustworthy and kind.
I don't know. It just makes me upset...
Hopefully, I'll be able to find a job soon. Well, I do have all of Spring Break to look for one...even if it will end up just being over the summer.
And, as much as it breaks my heart, I won't be going to Anime Central because I don't have a job; Anime Central is during the first or second weekend of May; even if I got a job within the next week or two, I still have to pay for bills and food; and I don't feel comfortable asking my friends and parents to help me pay for it. I won't ask my friends because my friends have other more important things to spend their money on, and this is also true with my parents, but they already pay my rent, phone bill (most of which probably consists of taxes), gas, tuition, car insurance, etc. So, I'm not going to Anime Central, which is sad because that will probably be the only opportunity to see some of my very good friends. Okay, enough from me. I also would like to thank all of my friends who have offered to help me financially, so that I could go to Anime Central, but that won't be happening. At least not this year. Maybe, hopefully, next year.

Well, baibai people!

What A Week...

And it is only Wednesday!! Oh. My. GOSH! Even though for some people the week starts with Sunday (e.g.: my boyfriend - which I absolutely don't mind, even if it sounds like it), my week always starts with Monday, so of course, I will start off with Monday in this post.
Since I have been slowly, but surely, regaining my self-discipline, I have gotten back in the habit of doing something good for my body every single day, even if it's just walking to the mailbox. I am also starting to get into the spirit of spring cleaning, which of course meant cleaning up the mold and mildew that had managed to settle itself in my poorly ventilated and insulated townhouse apartment. Luckily, I had a bottle of mildew/mold remover sitting in the apartment, ready to use. So, I started spraying the solution on the window sills, and the more visible spots. I was very happy with the results because 97% percent (maybe more) of the spots went away. However, while working on a spot that my parents had pointed out (it was hidden in the most unreachable corner of the apartment), I decided that it would be a good idea to move the couch because I know from previous experience with mold that it can spread like a bitch (sorry). And boy, did I have a "Why did I have to be right" moment! This was because the mold had managed to spread...and how!! I am sorry that I don't have any pictures, but I wanted as few people to see the mess as possible, and I know that my mother also reads my blog, so I really didn't feel like giving her a heart attack. The wall behind the couch actually looked like death had decided to take over this apartment... So, I ended up having these mixed feelings of being pissed off at management for not making these apartments at least minimally better, being pissed at myself for not taking care of this sooner, and feeling extremely sick.
The end of this story, I ended up using the whole bottle of mildew/mold remover, not being able to completely remove some spots, and still having one whole room left to spray. After seeing that huge spot, I couldn't stop spraying until the whole bottle was empty and my hands were almost numb.
As messy as my parents think I am, when I set my mind into cleaning mode, I clean everything and I clean it well. I am quite the meticulous person...sometimes.
Now on to yesterday...
I had another babysitting assignment, which I was looking forward too, but I was also extremely exhausted and dealing with the fact that as much as I had aired out the apartment, the remover smell still didn't want to leave the bathroom. The reason for this: The ventilation in that room sucks, the fan doesn't suck out as much of the moisture as it should, and it is one, if not the only, main reason why there was so much mold in the apartment. Anyway, back to babysitting. I picked up one of my charges, and of course he started heading out the door immediately, even though we still had to pick up his sister. So, I finally got the little man to turn around head back to his sister's main room, but she wasn't there! My only thought was: "Oh shit! This cannot be happening! I am such a bad person!" However, Michael (I changed his name for this) couldn't keep still, plus he had an ear infection, so I went "home" (his home) with him. The whole time I was thinking about his sister and trying to tell myself that she could make it home by herself (they only live two minutes away from the school, and she incredibly capable and independent for her age - she is 8). I then had issues finding Michael's medication, well, the one directly for the ear infection, so I could only give him children's ibuprofen. I tried to call his mother to ask her where the other medication was, and if Shannon, Michael's sister, had been picked up by her father (the parents recently got divorced). No such luck though because the long distance phone service had been shut off, the mother's cell phone was registered as a long distance number, and she never gave me her work number. Naturally, Michael thought it would be a great idea to play with the phones, so I decided to go back to the school and ask the front office where Shannon could be. Michael and I walk back to the school, go to the office, ask if anyone has seen Shannon, and pretty much everyone draws a blank. Fortunately, one of the people I asked during my first visit informed me that Shannon was in Spanish class, which was right next to her main classroom. *smack against forehead* Boy, did I feel stupid! I was quite relieved though too... Michael and I did have to wait for her though, and Michael used that time to take me on a tour through the half the school... Finally, Shannon's class was over and all three of us walked to their house. After checking almost every place in the kitchen, I did manage to locate Michael's other medication, and after having him take it, play with the phones some more, hiding them, and him throwing a temper tantrum of unusual proportions (for him, that is), I gave him a Capri-Sun and convinced him to go downstairs to watch a DVD or do something like that.
This was before I saw the furniture and electronic equipment changes. I couldn't hook up the DVD and Laser Disc player because Michael had been playing around with it previously, so the mother's boyfriend had to secure everything. Michael then used that chance to bug his sister and try to make her play with the V-Smile, but she didn't want to play because Michael is quite hyperactive and he wouldn't be watching her anyways. They started the have a fight over whether the TV and V-Smile should be on or off, and after pulling him out of the playroom several times before that, I saw that their fight was starting to get pretty physical. Now, if they were my siblings, I would have said "Fight, but shut up." because they are old enough to know better and I don't have to take the responsibility for them anymore. The only time I step in is if they get loud, they get so physical that they endanger others, and/or they start threatening each other in a very serious manner. However, with these two, the fight was just starting to get out of control, so I removed Michael from the scene again. Unfortunately, things went much different than expected... Michael decided that with me half-holding him, it would be a fantastic time to squirm and struggle against me. So, what ends up happening? I tripped on the bricks that form the fireplace area, I fall and fall and fall - all with child - and trying to save Michael, I twist my "good" (right...I'll explain later) knee, injure my right leg, bang my left cheek onto something, and with all that effort, still wasn't able to completely save Michael from getting hurt. He ended up getting a small rugburn wound right under his eye area, and since his skin is still so...young, he was bleeding a little bit (whereas I have more "severe" wounds, but I wasn't bleeding at all) and he was crying even more than he had been when I was taking him out of the room. He didn't want me to wash the wound, put Neosporin on it, or a bandaid. He ended up crying so much that he had an asthma attack, so I had to put him on his nebulizer (or Nebulizer...I'm not sure). He calmed down after that, and because of being in the hospital at 1 a.m. on Tuesday morning (his ear infection) and having cried so much, he fell asleep shortly thereafter. His father also came over (Shannon called him because we couldn't reach their mother), and he wasn't mad at me or anything (he just wanted to see how serious the wound was), and he left after about 30 minutes.
So, yeah, that was my Tuesday... And as a result, I was beyond exhausted and in pain, so I slept throughout about the half of today, which is bad, but I considered it to be necessary, so I could regain all or most of my strength. It still hurts to walk, so I have now switched to exercises that wouldn't be putting to much pressure on my legs. Hopefully, my leg will heal relatively fast...
Anyway, enough from me for today.
Take care, minasan. Ja mata (until later).