Letters (Part One)

Dear everyone who crosses my path, Why the frack are you staring at me? Is there something wrong with my appearance? Are my shoelaces untied? Is my fly undone? Am I bleeding profusely? Do I have all of Kpop-dom sitting on my head? What is up with the staring? Is this possibly the first time you've ever seen a human being? When you guys (and girls) stare at me like that and it's not just an isolated incident, there are a few things that happen: 1) I worry, 2) I get paranoid, and 3) I get pissed off. Luckily for you, my parents raised me to not randomly punch people in the face, which is good for you, but not necessarily so healthy for an angry Bettina. If you're staring at me because I'm tall and fat, I know. If it's because of the big boobs, I know. If it's because I have fish eyes, this too I know. As much as you people are staring, I might as well move to Asia or Africa because at least then I could understand the staring. The bizarre thing is, about 99.99% of the people staring at me are fellow Europeans and Americans. Congratulations! You've all been deemed impolite d-bags, who should know better and should be ashamed of yourselves. Thank you for helping me reaffirm my choice in future continent of residence. Sincerely, Borderline Ticked-Off