You know, I was going to wait until the weekend to type up my next post because I've just been too tired during the week, but then I saw that today is "Blogging for Choice" day...and well, what can I say...I just couldn't resist.
If you're curious how I found out about this, check Cipherpunk's Livejournal (http://cipherpunk.livejournal.com/154795.html) and Trifthen's site(http://bonesmoses.org/view.php?id=186).
(Note: The addresses are set up this way because the "insert link" command didn't work the way it was supposed to, and I need to go to bed, so I'm not going to look into it any further tonight.)
Pro-choice and pro-life...I really don't like either of those terms. So, what could I possibly write about reproductive "issues"? I'm afraid that my parents won't be overly happy about at least a few things I will be writing about in this post, but I can't please everyone. Especially not when I'm writing about such a controversial topic.
First of all, if I have to label myself, I am pro-choice. Why? Well, there are a few reasons, but I guess the main one is that abortion can be traced back all the way to Ancient Egypt (if not even further back than that) and that there will always be women who will go through with abortion... Shut up, I'm not quite done yet. Now, if a woman really wants to go through with an abortion she will do so...in whatever way possible. This can result in more death and infection than necessary. So, I would rather have abortion legalized and regulated, and have the women be healthy and safe. Or at the very least, healthier and safer.
I have already been labeled as a "cold-hearted bitch" by my younger siblings because I am pro-choice, but this is one of the few times when I couldn't care less about what people think about me.
I know that my boyfriend and my dad are both against abortion, but they also belong to the group of people who think that guys should stay out of it because it's the woman who carries the child...and not the man (unless we're actually seahorses and I haven't received the memo for that yet).
My dad is also the kind of guy, who would marry the girl he happens to impregnate. How do I know this? History, people...history. It's happened before. Before my dad met my mom, he impregnated a young woman and, feeling it was the proper or honorable thing to do, he proposed to her and they got married. She gave birth to my older half-sister in 1979 (if I am not mistaken) and everything seemed to be okay. Unfortunately, nothing is ever as it seems...it's not like we live in some pussy version of a Grimm fairy tale...and she ran away, with child and her boyfriend. So, where did she run off to? California, of course, so she could squeeze as much money as possible out of my dad. My dad, in the sometimes sickening goodness of his heart, offered to adopt and take care of this girl...his child, but I guess that the money was far more appealing. Therefore, I know I have an older half-sister and I've seen at least one picture of her, but I've never met her.
Okay, I'm getting kind of off topic here, sorry.
Back to reproductive rights...
Of course, I am not for people running around having unprotected sex with whomever they please, women getting pregnant as a result of this, and then having multiple abortions within any given year. That's beyond stupid and reckless. That's why I think that you should also go to counseling or therapy to determine if an abortion is the right path to take...unless there are life-threatening circumstances involved.
Another issue in the reproductive rights universe is that some men don't want to provide for their future children. Well, being a female (physically at least...it's pretty evenly divided neurologically I think), I would tell that man to go ahead and leave. I don't need someone like that around me and my child. Seriously, I would rather be alone and working my butt off than have someone tell me what to do with my body or have a bitter man let out his anger at an innocent being. In this case, I would demote the "father" to "tool", and proudly claim that I conceived the child all by myself. If you don't believe that I would do such a thing, you obviously don't know me.
The same thing applies if I happen to get pregnant and I want an abortion. If my partner wants to force me to have a child I'm not ready for...out. I know that I'm making this sound far easier than it would be, but some things just have to be done.
As for whose choice this would actually be...first and foremost it should the woman's, but if you're in a relationship, you should have an in-depth conversation with your partner about this.
Last thoughts: Religion and government don't mix. Last time I checked we aren't in a theocracy. If we are, I would like to move...to Saturn...or Pluto. Stop bombing abortion clinics and killing those doctors because that is just plain cowardice. Stop acting like little brats about this and similarly controversial issues. And...stop the whole "abstinence only" BS because that certainly isn't helping to decrease abortion rates, or teenage sex and/or pregnancy for that matter.
That's all.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
"I need to find breasts that fit", Spring Semester '07, Hormones, and other such things
Okay, this might get kind of long, so bear with me and comment if you can and want.
The first part of this post pertains to that lovely quote in the post title. That is something I said yesterday. Now, some of you might be wondering "Hmmm...now why would Bettina say something like that?" Well, that's because I didn't mean to say that. What I had ACTUALLY meant to say was "I need to find a bra that fits..."
Unfortunately, that didn't quite work out... The reason why I had attempted to say that was the fact that the underwire of one of my bras had managed to give me a few bruises, which aggravates me slightly. I USED to have a DD cup size, but for the past few months (as in the past 12 months), I have been noticing that my cups are running over, which doesn't look as hot as it might sound. It sure as hell doesn't feel as hot...
So yeah, I need a bigger bra...but I haven't quite figured out which cup size yet. I think it might be an E or some other insane size.
As some as you might have noticed the spring semester has started recently, and after having been sore, confused, and completely exhausted (even with sleep therapy) for all of the school week, I am proud to say that I survived the first week just fine. I have a load of pretty interesting classes this semester: Elementary Japanese 2, Masterpieces of East Asian Literature, Intro to Language Science, and Abnormal Psychology. Some of you might be wondering, why I am not in a higher Japanese course, especially since I have been studying Japanese since I've been 15 years old (I did have several lengthier breaks during the past 6 years though, but I should probably still be further along), but I didn't do as well as I had hoped last semester, so I thought it would be wise to take two steps back. Sometimes you have to step back in order to leap forward, and that is the path I have chosen.
The second course listed should also be interesting because we are going over literature in China, Korea, and Japan. The first book we will be going over is "Monkey" by Wu Ch'eng-en, which some might recognize as the story that inspired the anime series Dragon Ball. So, that should be somewhat fun to read.
As for Intro to Language Science, I am taking that course because I used to want to major in Linguistics, but as the universe should have it, I changed to Japanese and have been sticking to it like a leech ever since. Who knows...I just might minor in Linguistics...(it depends on how masochistic I feel after this semester though)
Last, but not least, Abnormal Psychology should be unbelievably fascinating all by itself, but that's not the only reason I'm taking it. I want to set Psychology up as a second major, but they require me to take several courses at UIUC first.
Now onto to my favorite topic: Hormones
If you guessed sex...fine, you're right...don't worry hormones either end up at the topic of sex or at least pass it. In my case, hormones lead to the topic of sex, so no worries people.
I love hormones, even if mine are slightly off, but sometimes they can be a real pain. Over the years, I have noticed something interesting...there are certain times, when more men (in this case) take notice of you than you would like and women (again in this case) tend to look at you like they want to rip your throat out. Well, it's that time of the month for me again...ovulation. Older men, in this case they are creepy as well, hit on me and I can tell that they are undressing me with their eyes... Younger men look me up and down and/or look kind of confused... As for the women, well, some act just fine towards me, but the others can be unbelievably hostile towards me.
Now, if that were the only issue...I'd still be annoyed about it, I admit it. There's nothing that could take away from that feeling, unless I actually felt that I was attractive enough to warrant such behavior.
However, my sex drive is also so high that I feel like locking myself up in a box and putting myself in the basement, so I'm less of a danger to others and myself. Okay...it's probably not THAT bad, but it's pretty damn close. Right now I am in serious need of testosterone...or sex...or both. So, all I can do is take a few dozen cold showers, press up against all the walls in the house, and toss and turn and toss and turn...and hope that it doesn't get so bad that I start to have guys I would never consider smelling, let alone touching (some of you know who I am talking about), appear in my dreams and fantasies. I'm not too worried though because, so far, that has never happened.
Oh well, that's all the news from my disturbing universe.
Here's a final thing I have to share: Quiz results...yay!
Please note how I have 25% in each of the first three categories, but 0% in the last three. It's really weird because I've never been to prison and I don't have any direct contact with people who have been/are in prison...but I was born and spent the first nine years of my life in the South and my father is a Texan. I'm happy with it though. It would have been nice to get something in the "Aussie" category, now that I think about it...
Talk to you guys later.
The first part of this post pertains to that lovely quote in the post title. That is something I said yesterday. Now, some of you might be wondering "Hmmm...now why would Bettina say something like that?" Well, that's because I didn't mean to say that. What I had ACTUALLY meant to say was "I need to find a bra that fits..."
Unfortunately, that didn't quite work out... The reason why I had attempted to say that was the fact that the underwire of one of my bras had managed to give me a few bruises, which aggravates me slightly. I USED to have a DD cup size, but for the past few months (as in the past 12 months), I have been noticing that my cups are running over, which doesn't look as hot as it might sound. It sure as hell doesn't feel as hot...
So yeah, I need a bigger bra...but I haven't quite figured out which cup size yet. I think it might be an E or some other insane size.
As some as you might have noticed the spring semester has started recently, and after having been sore, confused, and completely exhausted (even with sleep therapy) for all of the school week, I am proud to say that I survived the first week just fine. I have a load of pretty interesting classes this semester: Elementary Japanese 2, Masterpieces of East Asian Literature, Intro to Language Science, and Abnormal Psychology. Some of you might be wondering, why I am not in a higher Japanese course, especially since I have been studying Japanese since I've been 15 years old (I did have several lengthier breaks during the past 6 years though, but I should probably still be further along), but I didn't do as well as I had hoped last semester, so I thought it would be wise to take two steps back. Sometimes you have to step back in order to leap forward, and that is the path I have chosen.
The second course listed should also be interesting because we are going over literature in China, Korea, and Japan. The first book we will be going over is "Monkey" by Wu Ch'eng-en, which some might recognize as the story that inspired the anime series Dragon Ball. So, that should be somewhat fun to read.
As for Intro to Language Science, I am taking that course because I used to want to major in Linguistics, but as the universe should have it, I changed to Japanese and have been sticking to it like a leech ever since. Who knows...I just might minor in Linguistics...(it depends on how masochistic I feel after this semester though)
Last, but not least, Abnormal Psychology should be unbelievably fascinating all by itself, but that's not the only reason I'm taking it. I want to set Psychology up as a second major, but they require me to take several courses at UIUC first.
Now onto to my favorite topic: Hormones
If you guessed sex...fine, you're right...don't worry hormones either end up at the topic of sex or at least pass it. In my case, hormones lead to the topic of sex, so no worries people.
I love hormones, even if mine are slightly off, but sometimes they can be a real pain. Over the years, I have noticed something interesting...there are certain times, when more men (in this case) take notice of you than you would like and women (again in this case) tend to look at you like they want to rip your throat out. Well, it's that time of the month for me again...ovulation. Older men, in this case they are creepy as well, hit on me and I can tell that they are undressing me with their eyes... Younger men look me up and down and/or look kind of confused... As for the women, well, some act just fine towards me, but the others can be unbelievably hostile towards me.
Now, if that were the only issue...I'd still be annoyed about it, I admit it. There's nothing that could take away from that feeling, unless I actually felt that I was attractive enough to warrant such behavior.
However, my sex drive is also so high that I feel like locking myself up in a box and putting myself in the basement, so I'm less of a danger to others and myself. Okay...it's probably not THAT bad, but it's pretty damn close. Right now I am in serious need of testosterone...or sex...or both. So, all I can do is take a few dozen cold showers, press up against all the walls in the house, and toss and turn and toss and turn...and hope that it doesn't get so bad that I start to have guys I would never consider smelling, let alone touching (some of you know who I am talking about), appear in my dreams and fantasies. I'm not too worried though because, so far, that has never happened.
Oh well, that's all the news from my disturbing universe.
Here's a final thing I have to share: Quiz results...yay!
Your Slanguage Profile |
 British Slang: 25% Canadian Slang: 25% Prison Slang: 25% Aussie Slang: 0% New England Slang: 0% Southern Slang: 0% |
Please note how I have 25% in each of the first three categories, but 0% in the last three. It's really weird because I've never been to prison and I don't have any direct contact with people who have been/are in prison...but I was born and spent the first nine years of my life in the South and my father is a Texan. I'm happy with it though. It would have been nice to get something in the "Aussie" category, now that I think about it...
Talk to you guys later.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Fun, fun, fun quizzes
You Should Stay in Shape with Swimming |
 You require something that's both serene and challenging. Swimming is the perfect way for you to do your own thing and escape for a while. Swimming will give you that perfectly toned, curvy body you desire. |
I should really look into going swimming...
You are a Brainy Girl! |
 Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either! |
That's pretty much all I have going for me...I don't know.
You are Bettie Page |
 Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it |
Huh, I think we've had this one before. I like Bettie Page.
You Have Many Alpha Tendencies |
 You're not a total alpha female, but you certainly know how to - and like to - get your way. You're forceful without being intimidating. You're confident without being vain. A perfect mix. |
Okay, where do you get your information? Part of it is true. I am not a complete alpha female. Why? Because I try to stay out of the deeper realms of the feminine. I've been there, done that, bought the T-shirt...you all know how the saying goes. It wasn't fun or pretty. I'm proud to say that I've developed into quite the androgynous person.
You Should Wear Black Lipstick |
 Confident, dramatic, and unexpected. Your look: Gothic beauty Your signature lip gloss flavor: Ginger |
Umm...I would never wear black lipstick. That would only look decent on me if I had a darker complexion.
You Are Most Like Adriana Lima |
 Intriguing and sultry |
Yeah...right. If only I was half as hot as her...
Okay, I'm done...again. Take the quizzes, have fun with them, and let me know what you got, okay? This of course also goes for the rest of the quizzes I have taken and posted.
Take care and I'll write about more later on.
Lots of love,
Bettina
Monday, January 15, 2007
Somebody is really mad...
...and for once it's not me. I just read a comment from my mother, even though she wrote it as Anonymous. She is mad at me for stating that life doesn't hold much appeal to me anymore.
Since it is too late to call her, I guess I'll let a few things out on my blog since it's going to have to be let out somewhere...
Let me tell you something, my dear mother, if things went according to you, I would just shut up or lie about my feelings.
Guess what, I'll be damned if I start to lie about my feelings and thoughts again. You know, Mom, be glad that you only suffer from situational depression. At least you know that it will eventually pass. I'm stuck with therapy and medication. Who knows...I might get lucky and the depression will get better with the sleep therapy, Synthroid and Paxil, but for now, I am stuck in this dark hole. I am stuck in a war I didn't ask to be in and so far, I have been on my own. I tried going down the road of shutting up and guess what...I screwed myself over even more.
You want to know why you are paying for my education! Here's why: There is a part of me, hidden away in a safe and dark room in my mind, that believes that things will eventually get better. A part of me does still believe that once I've fought my way through this time in my life, I will feel better.
So, if you could get off it and try to understand what I might be going through (like I have been doing with you), then you wouldn't be getting upset at a sentence in one of my posts. It was one sentence, for crying out loud! You know, if you get mad at me, then I have to get at least twice as mad at myself for getting you mad. I'm sure you have better things to get mad at anyway...
So, now that I have gotten mad as well, I think I'm going to have to stand outside in the cold for a little bit.
Since it is too late to call her, I guess I'll let a few things out on my blog since it's going to have to be let out somewhere...
Let me tell you something, my dear mother, if things went according to you, I would just shut up or lie about my feelings.
Guess what, I'll be damned if I start to lie about my feelings and thoughts again. You know, Mom, be glad that you only suffer from situational depression. At least you know that it will eventually pass. I'm stuck with therapy and medication. Who knows...I might get lucky and the depression will get better with the sleep therapy, Synthroid and Paxil, but for now, I am stuck in this dark hole. I am stuck in a war I didn't ask to be in and so far, I have been on my own. I tried going down the road of shutting up and guess what...I screwed myself over even more.
You want to know why you are paying for my education! Here's why: There is a part of me, hidden away in a safe and dark room in my mind, that believes that things will eventually get better. A part of me does still believe that once I've fought my way through this time in my life, I will feel better.
So, if you could get off it and try to understand what I might be going through (like I have been doing with you), then you wouldn't be getting upset at a sentence in one of my posts. It was one sentence, for crying out loud! You know, if you get mad at me, then I have to get at least twice as mad at myself for getting you mad. I'm sure you have better things to get mad at anyway...
So, now that I have gotten mad as well, I think I'm going to have to stand outside in the cold for a little bit.
I need to write
Well, I told myself that I should post something, but the question is what...
On my Myspace blog, the last three posts have been about Lindsay Lohan's stupidity. In case you have a life, which I believe that most of you should have, you will not have heard about this. I think it might have been a week ago, but Miss Lohan had to have emergency surgery on her appendix because of recurring pain in that area and her being diagnosed with appendicitis.
Now you would think that she would rest for some time after surgery, but no, she had to go off and party a mere eight hours after this surgical procedure. Eight hours! She has got to be completely meschugge!
In addition to that, she was supposedly also diagnosed with a liver infection. Now, how would she have a liver infection? That's because Tinseltown lets her babies run around wild and drink whenever and whatever they want. Unfortunately, I'm not overly surprised by this because she also smokes, even though she has asthma, and hasn't been that healthy of a person to begin with.
I just decided that writing about Lindsay Lohan might get some people talking and I just wanted to express my disappointment about her stupidity and recklessness.
I guess I just wanted to shove her out there as an example of how not to be.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I didn't want to write about Miss Lohan again...
Spring semester starts on Tuesday. Whoo!
I have to work hard this semester... No worries though, I'm looking forward to working hard.
We were supposed to have an ice storm here, but no, just loads of rain. I love rain! Unfortunately, it's a bit too cold to run out there without shoes or socks on.
I also managed to run into my favorite type of man today. The creepy type. I went grocery shopping and he just walked by the aisle with one of his friends and said "How are you doing?". Now, if this were a Joey-type of guy, it would have been funny and kind of cute, but it wasn't...so it was just creepy. Usually, I would have looked disgusted and scared and looked away, but something just came over me. I just stared him in the face and smirked. As soon as they walked away and I left the aisle, this is what went through my head: "What the HELL was THAT?!?!" I then had a small anxiety attack that he would follow me and think that I actually like him. Luckily for me...for once...I only saw him two more times after that (and he only actually saw me once out of those two times) and then I was GONE.
So yeah, interesting evening. This is why I like to do the pursuing a lot of times because if I end up with a complete jerk and creep...well, then it's my fault. At least I can tell myself that then...
I already told my Schatzi about it and he could only tell me "Good job" and I am going to have to agree with him on that one. Letting someone who could hurt you see your weak side might not be the way to go, but I don't think that smirking is the answer either.
Different topic: I am thinking of writing stories and poems and stuff like that. I would like to know if anyone would be interested in me doing that. If nobody responds to this, I will still write stories and poems and whatnot, but if I am going to post them on my blog, I would like for people to want to read them and give me feedback and so on. I know...it sounds really stupid of me to ask because it's my blog, so I should care less about the opinions of others, but I'm just not that kind of a person.
Okay, I'm done. This post probably doesn't make any sense.
Take care everyone...talk to you later.
Bettina
On my Myspace blog, the last three posts have been about Lindsay Lohan's stupidity. In case you have a life, which I believe that most of you should have, you will not have heard about this. I think it might have been a week ago, but Miss Lohan had to have emergency surgery on her appendix because of recurring pain in that area and her being diagnosed with appendicitis.
Now you would think that she would rest for some time after surgery, but no, she had to go off and party a mere eight hours after this surgical procedure. Eight hours! She has got to be completely meschugge!
In addition to that, she was supposedly also diagnosed with a liver infection. Now, how would she have a liver infection? That's because Tinseltown lets her babies run around wild and drink whenever and whatever they want. Unfortunately, I'm not overly surprised by this because she also smokes, even though she has asthma, and hasn't been that healthy of a person to begin with.
I just decided that writing about Lindsay Lohan might get some people talking and I just wanted to express my disappointment about her stupidity and recklessness.
I guess I just wanted to shove her out there as an example of how not to be.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I didn't want to write about Miss Lohan again...
Spring semester starts on Tuesday. Whoo!
I have to work hard this semester... No worries though, I'm looking forward to working hard.
We were supposed to have an ice storm here, but no, just loads of rain. I love rain! Unfortunately, it's a bit too cold to run out there without shoes or socks on.
I also managed to run into my favorite type of man today. The creepy type. I went grocery shopping and he just walked by the aisle with one of his friends and said "How are you doing?". Now, if this were a Joey-type of guy, it would have been funny and kind of cute, but it wasn't...so it was just creepy. Usually, I would have looked disgusted and scared and looked away, but something just came over me. I just stared him in the face and smirked. As soon as they walked away and I left the aisle, this is what went through my head: "What the HELL was THAT?!?!" I then had a small anxiety attack that he would follow me and think that I actually like him. Luckily for me...for once...I only saw him two more times after that (and he only actually saw me once out of those two times) and then I was GONE.
So yeah, interesting evening. This is why I like to do the pursuing a lot of times because if I end up with a complete jerk and creep...well, then it's my fault. At least I can tell myself that then...
I already told my Schatzi about it and he could only tell me "Good job" and I am going to have to agree with him on that one. Letting someone who could hurt you see your weak side might not be the way to go, but I don't think that smirking is the answer either.
Different topic: I am thinking of writing stories and poems and stuff like that. I would like to know if anyone would be interested in me doing that. If nobody responds to this, I will still write stories and poems and whatnot, but if I am going to post them on my blog, I would like for people to want to read them and give me feedback and so on. I know...it sounds really stupid of me to ask because it's my blog, so I should care less about the opinions of others, but I'm just not that kind of a person.
Okay, I'm done. This post probably doesn't make any sense.
Take care everyone...talk to you later.
Bettina
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Shake ya moneymaker, like somebody 'bout to pay ya
So yeah, confusing title, but it's a line from Ludacris's song "Moneymaker", which I had the immense pleasure of listening to this morning. I just don't know which moneymaker Ludacris was talking about yet...
I also got to brave the cold world in shorts and a T-shirt this morning, mainly because of a semi-emergency. It actually felt pretty good...
So, what else has been going on? I have been slowly withdrawing myself from others because I don't want to be a bother. Most of my friends have their own lives and they don't need someone like me to throw myself at them. If this sounds like I'm depressed, sorry, but I don't feel overly depressed. I'm just saying. I just don't feel like pushing people I love away from me by smothering them in every way imaginable. It also seems that most people could do without my love, so now I'm just trying to figure a few things out. This is mainly an observation.
On a slightly different note, the spring semester starts on Tuesday and even though I had told one of my friends that I would visit him before the end of the break, I started thinking about it and not only am I lacking in the money department, I also don't want to overdo it and get on his nerves. He has told me that this is not the case several times already, but I also know that every person has his/her limits. It is mainly a money issue though.
Huh...that wasn't on as different of a note as I had originally intended it to be.
Some other observations: My body hurts a lot more when I sleep without my mask. I am starting to get fed up with my "special" room mate again. Life just doesn't have much appeal to me anymore. I used to think that getting married would be so significant in my life, but I'm beginning to think that I could very well do without it. On the other hand, I still want to have children.
Hmm, I guess that's it from me...for now at least.
Take care everyone,
Bettina
I also got to brave the cold world in shorts and a T-shirt this morning, mainly because of a semi-emergency. It actually felt pretty good...
So, what else has been going on? I have been slowly withdrawing myself from others because I don't want to be a bother. Most of my friends have their own lives and they don't need someone like me to throw myself at them. If this sounds like I'm depressed, sorry, but I don't feel overly depressed. I'm just saying. I just don't feel like pushing people I love away from me by smothering them in every way imaginable. It also seems that most people could do without my love, so now I'm just trying to figure a few things out. This is mainly an observation.
On a slightly different note, the spring semester starts on Tuesday and even though I had told one of my friends that I would visit him before the end of the break, I started thinking about it and not only am I lacking in the money department, I also don't want to overdo it and get on his nerves. He has told me that this is not the case several times already, but I also know that every person has his/her limits. It is mainly a money issue though.
Huh...that wasn't on as different of a note as I had originally intended it to be.
Some other observations: My body hurts a lot more when I sleep without my mask. I am starting to get fed up with my "special" room mate again. Life just doesn't have much appeal to me anymore. I used to think that getting married would be so significant in my life, but I'm beginning to think that I could very well do without it. On the other hand, I still want to have children.
Hmm, I guess that's it from me...for now at least.
Take care everyone,
Bettina
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Quiz Smorgasbord
Your Pimp Name Is... |
 |
Yep, that is how I am to be addressed from now on: Brown Sugar Mystery...hahaha
Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a pimp...
You Are Bud Light |
 You're not fussy when it comes to beer. If someone hands it to you, you'll drink it. In fact, you don't understand beer snobbery at all. It all tastes the same once you're drunk! You're an enthusiastic drinker, and you can often be found at your neighborhood bar. You're pretty good at holding your liquor too - you've had lots of experience. |
The thing with this is, well, I actually am not an overly fussy drinker. I am a bit fussy when it comes to beer however...so I guess I am a bit of a beer snob. About me being an enthusiastic drinker: I can be (and somewhere my mother's heart just got a bit heavier), but it depends on the situation and I do most of my drinking at home. Unfortunately, (or depending on your attitude towards this, fortunately) I am pretty good at holding my liqour. It might have to do with my Hungarian, German, and Irish blood...it could have to do with me being taller and heavier than the average person...I honestly don't know because I know people who do far more drinking than I do and still can't hold their liquor as well as I can. I do have to say this, don't aim to be good at holding your liquor, okay?
Your Birthdate: July 6 |
 For you, love is a natural progression from friendship. You are almost always friends first. In love, you are loyal, steady, and honest. You are not a cheater or even much of a flirt. You are likely to stay friends with your ex... and open to rekindling something in the future. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5 You are most compatible with people born on the 6th, 15th, and 24th of the month. |
My opinions on this: Love is almost always a few steps after friendship. I could never be with someone romantically who isn't also my friend. Even though I am not a cheater (this goes against my code of ethics), I do tend to be quite the little flirt. I don't know how I ended up being a flirt, but I somehow just slip into it. However, if I notice that someone is uncomfortable with it and I have realized that I have been flirting, I will do my best to tone my behavior down. I don't know what to say about the number of true loves and broken hearts. Oh well, what can you do?
You Will Die at Age 55 |
 Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits. |
Huh, 55... I won't die early because of my "superwild" lifestyle, but more because of my self-destructive lifestyle, thank you very much. Who knows...I guess I'll die when I die.
You Are 30 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Wow...that old already? That's like 9 years older than I already am. I need to hurry up. The success they're talking about happened between the ages of 5 and 8. I really don't know if I want more... But yay, 30!!
Okay, I hope everyone has fun with these surveys and let me know what you got on these.
Take care and I'll talk to you later
Monday, January 08, 2007
Response to last post's comment
Okay, I don't know how that comment was meant. It could be that you just really didn't know what to say and you felt obliged to comment either way, but you might have also been sarcastic about it...in which case, I could very well do without comments like that. Trust me, I am unbelievably sarcastic and cynical, but there is a time and place for that and that post is the wrong thing to respond sarcastically to.
2006 was just an odd year...not just for me. If it were just me, I could shrug it off and say "Ah well, it's just me. I'm probably just being a bitch about it."
However, hearing how the year went for most of the people I know, I do know that it wasn't just me. This year was just weird all around.
So yeah, my brain is slightly scrambled right now. If I sound slightly stupid in this post, I apologize.
I guess I'll sign off then.
Take care peeps and I'll talk to you later,
Bettina
2006 was just an odd year...not just for me. If it were just me, I could shrug it off and say "Ah well, it's just me. I'm probably just being a bitch about it."
However, hearing how the year went for most of the people I know, I do know that it wasn't just me. This year was just weird all around.
So yeah, my brain is slightly scrambled right now. If I sound slightly stupid in this post, I apologize.
I guess I'll sign off then.
Take care peeps and I'll talk to you later,
Bettina
Thursday, January 04, 2007
My Thoughts On 2006 And Confessions
For those faint of heart...and Mom: Please cover your ears (well, close your eyes...whichever keeps you from reading this post is fine with me).
Ears covered? Eyes shut?.............Good.
So, how was my 2006? Well, let me try to summarize it...
Imagine being raped in every way possible while being tied up with rusty barbed wire. That's pretty much the way 2006 went for me.
I don't think that I've ever been as exhausted, depressed, or in as much pain as I've been during the past year.
Oddly enough...I can't say that this has been my most suicidal year, but I have had the highest number of suicidal or self-destructive thoughts...
This has more to do with the irregularity of my medicine intake though...I think.
I had actually been thinking about beating 2007 to the punch and completely withdrawing from friends, family, society, the world, and even the universe because this streak of my life tearing itself (and everything in it) up started in 2005, but it was only mildly irritating and confusing then. It just got progressively worse in 2006. So now I'm kind of worried about how far things will spiral downwards this year. However, I am doing my best to not think about it too much...otherwise, I just might be asking for things to get worse...
(Sigh)
On to my confessions...
It's nothing big, but I do want to get some things off of my chest.
As some of you may know, I have hypothyroidism, which means that my thyroid glands are too slow, and since these glands are pretty much responsible for everything in the body, my whole body isn't able to function properly.
I also suffer from a general anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and depression.
For all of these I am taking medication, but it's only two different types of pills, so it's not bad at all.
Last May, after a decade of excruciating pain (and me not wanting to talk to anyone about it) and the doctors shrugging the pain off as "normal" menstrual pain (you can kiss my behind, by the way...pain isn't something that can or should be considered normal), I finally got sent in for a transvaginal ultrasound. A transvaginal ultrasound is when the technician or doctor inserts a phallic-shaped device into the vaginal cavity to get a picture of any potential abnormalities in the lower body. This is how they discovered that I had a cyst on my right ovary, which was about an inch in diameter. Considering the size of the average ovary, that's a huge growth. I was supposed to go back for a follow-up ultrasound a month later, but with money and personal issues smacking me in the face at an increased rate, I didn't get a chance to go back until November. In November they found out that there were now two cysts sitting on my right ovary, which kind of freaked me out. I was pretty much willing to remove them myself. So, finally, in December, I went in for my third ultrasound and found out that the cysts I have are functional cysts, meaning that they only fill up during ovulation, release the egg, and then pretty much disappear after each period. It's good that they aren't harmful necessarily (painful yes, but that doesn't matter), but I'm not too happy with the fact that they are going to keep on showing up.
Last confession I can think of: I suffer from sleep apnea. Yeah, big shock, I know...
So, I just picked up all of the equipment for my sleep therapy today, which will end up making me sound vaguely like Darth Vader.
Like I said, no big confessions here, but maybe if these problems get fixed, or at least become less of a problem, then I might be able to feel a bit better...about everything.
So yeah, I think I've written enough for today. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to throw up a little and then take some ibuprofen because I am in worlds of pain right now.
Take care everyone. Talk to you later.
Ears covered? Eyes shut?.............Good.
So, how was my 2006? Well, let me try to summarize it...
Imagine being raped in every way possible while being tied up with rusty barbed wire. That's pretty much the way 2006 went for me.
I don't think that I've ever been as exhausted, depressed, or in as much pain as I've been during the past year.
Oddly enough...I can't say that this has been my most suicidal year, but I have had the highest number of suicidal or self-destructive thoughts...
This has more to do with the irregularity of my medicine intake though...I think.
I had actually been thinking about beating 2007 to the punch and completely withdrawing from friends, family, society, the world, and even the universe because this streak of my life tearing itself (and everything in it) up started in 2005, but it was only mildly irritating and confusing then. It just got progressively worse in 2006. So now I'm kind of worried about how far things will spiral downwards this year. However, I am doing my best to not think about it too much...otherwise, I just might be asking for things to get worse...
(Sigh)
On to my confessions...
It's nothing big, but I do want to get some things off of my chest.
As some of you may know, I have hypothyroidism, which means that my thyroid glands are too slow, and since these glands are pretty much responsible for everything in the body, my whole body isn't able to function properly.
I also suffer from a general anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and depression.
For all of these I am taking medication, but it's only two different types of pills, so it's not bad at all.
Last May, after a decade of excruciating pain (and me not wanting to talk to anyone about it) and the doctors shrugging the pain off as "normal" menstrual pain (you can kiss my behind, by the way...pain isn't something that can or should be considered normal), I finally got sent in for a transvaginal ultrasound. A transvaginal ultrasound is when the technician or doctor inserts a phallic-shaped device into the vaginal cavity to get a picture of any potential abnormalities in the lower body. This is how they discovered that I had a cyst on my right ovary, which was about an inch in diameter. Considering the size of the average ovary, that's a huge growth. I was supposed to go back for a follow-up ultrasound a month later, but with money and personal issues smacking me in the face at an increased rate, I didn't get a chance to go back until November. In November they found out that there were now two cysts sitting on my right ovary, which kind of freaked me out. I was pretty much willing to remove them myself. So, finally, in December, I went in for my third ultrasound and found out that the cysts I have are functional cysts, meaning that they only fill up during ovulation, release the egg, and then pretty much disappear after each period. It's good that they aren't harmful necessarily (painful yes, but that doesn't matter), but I'm not too happy with the fact that they are going to keep on showing up.
Last confession I can think of: I suffer from sleep apnea. Yeah, big shock, I know...
So, I just picked up all of the equipment for my sleep therapy today, which will end up making me sound vaguely like Darth Vader.
Like I said, no big confessions here, but maybe if these problems get fixed, or at least become less of a problem, then I might be able to feel a bit better...about everything.
So yeah, I think I've written enough for today. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to throw up a little and then take some ibuprofen because I am in worlds of pain right now.
Take care everyone. Talk to you later.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Happy New Year's...I guess
Okay, I don't want to ruin New Year's Eve for everyone, so I'm just going to say: Have a great New Year's Eve and an amazing 2007!
Take care everyone,
Bettina
Take care everyone,
Bettina
Friday, December 29, 2006
Quizzes Galore...Part One
Hey people,
Well, this is my more upbeat post...finally.
I hope everyone had a good Christmas.
Enjoy these test results, take these tests, let me know about your results, and yeah, I'll try and write about something more relevant next time (or simply at a later time).
Take care,
Bettina
Well, this is my more upbeat post...finally.
I hope everyone had a good Christmas.
Enjoy these test results, take these tests, let me know about your results, and yeah, I'll try and write about something more relevant next time (or simply at a later time).
Take care,
Bettina
You Are Strawberry Pocky |
 Your attitude: fresh and sweet Comforting, yet quirky ... quietly hyper You always see both sides to everything |
You Are Best Described By... |
 Sleep by Salvador Dali |
You Are 40% Weird |
 Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it! |
You Are a Lemon Margarita |
 Sour, tangy, and overpowering, you tend to give people a jolt back into reality. While you don't sugar coat things, you're honest - which is actually quite refreshing. |
Your Pickup Line Is |
 What's a sexy hottie like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? |
Star Wars Horoscope for Cancer |
 You may whine at times, but you've developed a thick hard shell (like that of a crab). You are strong willed and persistent - until you get what you want. You never shy away from a fight, even when things get dangerous. Mentally sharp, you are starting to master the elements of mind manipulation. Star wars character you are most like: Luke Skywalker |
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
A bit of a crisis?
Okay...so I do have something to write about, but I think it is quite stupid, at least part of me does. I just pretty much don't want to be who I am right now. I guess I've reached the point where I want to be wanted in any and every possible way. I want to be desired...probably even lusted after.
The problem with that is, I am not the person others want/desire/lust after. Even my boyfriend has a completely different type of woman he wants...and I get it. It's the same way with almost everybody else, but I have absolutely nothing in common with his fantasy girl...well, other than the being female part. Usually, your partner has at least one attribute in common with your fantasy...
These are the things that at least I think are wrong with me: I am too tall, too heavy, my breasts are too big, my voice is all wrong, my hair is off, and my face in general is just completely wrong. If anything at all, I'm the type of girl you're friends with and you might even consider marrying, but not really one you want.
Sorry, I don't mean to put myself down... I feel especially bad because I promised someone I consider to be very close to me that I wouldn't insult myself, but this just completely overcame me and I don't want something as stupid and silly and vain as this to eat away at me.
So, I would also like to apologize to this close friend of mine for writing this message. You can always lecture me on it later. I'm trying to not insult myself and to not beat myself up, but it's just so damn hard...especially now and I'm not sure why.
Well, I hope everyone is doing okay and I'll try to write a more upbeat message the next time around.
Take care everyone.
The problem with that is, I am not the person others want/desire/lust after. Even my boyfriend has a completely different type of woman he wants...and I get it. It's the same way with almost everybody else, but I have absolutely nothing in common with his fantasy girl...well, other than the being female part. Usually, your partner has at least one attribute in common with your fantasy...
These are the things that at least I think are wrong with me: I am too tall, too heavy, my breasts are too big, my voice is all wrong, my hair is off, and my face in general is just completely wrong. If anything at all, I'm the type of girl you're friends with and you might even consider marrying, but not really one you want.
Sorry, I don't mean to put myself down... I feel especially bad because I promised someone I consider to be very close to me that I wouldn't insult myself, but this just completely overcame me and I don't want something as stupid and silly and vain as this to eat away at me.
So, I would also like to apologize to this close friend of mine for writing this message. You can always lecture me on it later. I'm trying to not insult myself and to not beat myself up, but it's just so damn hard...especially now and I'm not sure why.
Well, I hope everyone is doing okay and I'll try to write a more upbeat message the next time around.
Take care everyone.
Anonymous is not Anonymous anymore
Well, it turns out that I do know the "new" Anonymous. I guess I just wasn't expecting this person to make the comments he/she made. Honestly, I can't believe that I couldn't figure out who it was...
Oh well, this is pretty much all I wanted to write about. I am at a creative low and any attempt at writing something deep and meaningful would just burn and crash. So, I'll just let some music do the talking.
Oh well, this is pretty much all I wanted to write about. I am at a creative low and any attempt at writing something deep and meaningful would just burn and crash. So, I'll just let some music do the talking.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Who are you Anonymous?
You know, I'm usually good with figuring out who my "anonymous" people are, but I'm stumped this time.
So, I'm going to list your comments, and I would really like for you to contact me, outside of this blog, so at least I know who you are.
First: From my post "A little somethin' somethin'" written on Tuesday, November 14th
anonymous said:
"I don't know what to say - I have had moments like this before, but you know it would not be a solution it only would present me with more thoughts of this kind! I know this sounds selfish, but I want to be selfish if it saves you!!!"
My response to this: Why would you be selfish? I think it's really sweet that you're willing to be selfish to save me, but since I can't really figure out who you are, I don't know what to say...it's odd, yet sweet. However, I really appreciate your comment on this! :)
Second: From my post "How dumb am I really?" written on Thursday, November 16th
anonymous said:
"Great! You are smarter than me!"
My response: Huh...I only know one other person who took this... So, I have to wonder... Are you who I think you are? Or are you someone completely different?
Yes, that was very vague of me, but this person must have a reason why he/she listed him/herself as anonymous, so I don't want to state my assumptions on this blog.
So, new person, who are you? Tell me. I don't mind the comments that are listed as anonymous, but I am curious and would like to know if I already know you. If you can't figure out a way to contact me off of this blog, just post another comment in response to this post, but I think that my profile should show you a way to contact me...
Okay, that's all from me for now.
Take care everyone!
So, I'm going to list your comments, and I would really like for you to contact me, outside of this blog, so at least I know who you are.
First: From my post "A little somethin' somethin'" written on Tuesday, November 14th
anonymous said:
"I don't know what to say - I have had moments like this before, but you know it would not be a solution it only would present me with more thoughts of this kind! I know this sounds selfish, but I want to be selfish if it saves you!!!"
My response to this: Why would you be selfish? I think it's really sweet that you're willing to be selfish to save me, but since I can't really figure out who you are, I don't know what to say...it's odd, yet sweet. However, I really appreciate your comment on this! :)
Second: From my post "How dumb am I really?" written on Thursday, November 16th
anonymous said:
"Great! You are smarter than me!"
My response: Huh...I only know one other person who took this... So, I have to wonder... Are you who I think you are? Or are you someone completely different?
Yes, that was very vague of me, but this person must have a reason why he/she listed him/herself as anonymous, so I don't want to state my assumptions on this blog.
So, new person, who are you? Tell me. I don't mind the comments that are listed as anonymous, but I am curious and would like to know if I already know you. If you can't figure out a way to contact me off of this blog, just post another comment in response to this post, but I think that my profile should show you a way to contact me...
Okay, that's all from me for now.
Take care everyone!
Erster deutscher Eintrag
Hallo meine Lieben!
Dies hier wird mein erster deutscher Eintrag auf dieser Blog sein. Manche von euch werden sich sicherlich fragen wieso ich jetzt auf einmal auf deutsch schreibe. Die meisten von euch werden diesen Eintrag aber ueberhaupt nicht oder kaum verstehen koennen. Na ja, ich red' zwar noch ziemlich viel auf deutsch, aber ich kriege nicht besonders viele Gelegenheiten um auf deutsch zu schreiben (ich sollte Oma vielleicht ab und zu mal was schreiben).
Tja...was gibt's denn sonst noch so zu schreiben?
Mensch! Jetzt faellt mir nichts mehr ein! Ein anderes Mal vielleicht...
Also, passt gut auf euch auf!
Bis spaeter
Dies hier wird mein erster deutscher Eintrag auf dieser Blog sein. Manche von euch werden sich sicherlich fragen wieso ich jetzt auf einmal auf deutsch schreibe. Die meisten von euch werden diesen Eintrag aber ueberhaupt nicht oder kaum verstehen koennen. Na ja, ich red' zwar noch ziemlich viel auf deutsch, aber ich kriege nicht besonders viele Gelegenheiten um auf deutsch zu schreiben (ich sollte Oma vielleicht ab und zu mal was schreiben).
Tja...was gibt's denn sonst noch so zu schreiben?
Mensch! Jetzt faellt mir nichts mehr ein! Ein anderes Mal vielleicht...
Also, passt gut auf euch auf!
Bis spaeter
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Changes and other mundane things
Ohayoo minasan,
I hope everyone is doing okay! I'm not quite sure how I'm doing, but I think that my medication is making me slightly nauseous...probably because I haven't been taking it regularly...*cough, cough*... Don't worry, I'm working on it.
First off, important announcement: My dear family and friends, let me know what you want for Christmas! You might not get it right on Christmas, but you will get it during that timeframe (unless something goes horribly wrong)!!!!
Secondly, as you can probably tell (well, maybe not...) I have changed a few things on this baby.
1) The color: I was getting sick of that shade of pink and even though I don't like like this color too much either, it still looks more "me" than the pink did. I'm also pretty sure that most of you will appreciate the change in color as well. I like pink, but not all shades of it and even then only in moderation.
2) I added on a picture...not much else to say about that.
3) Links: I switched some of them around...most of them to be more precise...and then I added on a new link. Trifthen is now my first link because...well, I visit his site the most often (even if he thinks that like only one person ever reads his posts...and I doubt that he was talking about me!). The new link is the fourth one on the list, which is listed as Metal Angel. This link leads to the LiveJournal of the author of Indecent, Sarah Katherine Lewis.
4) Christmas list: Yes, I posted one (underneath the Links section). Several people have asked me what I want and this is a list of things that I...well, want. I know that the list is long, but that's because I wanted to give everyone a whole bunch of things to choose from. Of course, I listed the items from the ones I would like to have the most to the ones that can wait, but that doesn't mean that I'm expecting to get the items at the top of the list (with the exception of the first item listed - the letter).
5) Who's hot list: I posted a list of who I think are the most attractive people in the world (underneath the Blog Archive section). They are listed in alphabetic order because I haven't been able to come up with a satisfying order yet. It also doesn't show all of the people that I put on the list because it is longer than my Christmas list. In the near future, hopefully as soon as finals are over, I will do my best to dedicate a post to each of the people on this, with pictures and/or video clips. So, even if I don't end up showing the whole list, you'll know who's on it either way.
I think that's all I have to say about blog changes...
So, I guess it's on to the other mundane stuff!
Tonight CBS will be showing the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at 10/9c, which I fully intend on watching...and umm...taping...
Oh no...hahaha...I completely forgot what else I wanted to write about...*sigh* That's just depressing...
Okay people, I had a good run at this, but I'm way out of steam (didn't know I had any to run on to begin with...), sooo, I'll write something else later.
Since I'm currently in such a poppy mood, musically, I thought I'd share this with you:
Take care people *mwah*
I hope everyone is doing okay! I'm not quite sure how I'm doing, but I think that my medication is making me slightly nauseous...probably because I haven't been taking it regularly...*cough, cough*... Don't worry, I'm working on it.
First off, important announcement: My dear family and friends, let me know what you want for Christmas! You might not get it right on Christmas, but you will get it during that timeframe (unless something goes horribly wrong)!!!!
Secondly, as you can probably tell (well, maybe not...) I have changed a few things on this baby.
1) The color: I was getting sick of that shade of pink and even though I don't like like this color too much either, it still looks more "me" than the pink did. I'm also pretty sure that most of you will appreciate the change in color as well. I like pink, but not all shades of it and even then only in moderation.
2) I added on a picture...not much else to say about that.
3) Links: I switched some of them around...most of them to be more precise...and then I added on a new link. Trifthen is now my first link because...well, I visit his site the most often (even if he thinks that like only one person ever reads his posts...and I doubt that he was talking about me!). The new link is the fourth one on the list, which is listed as Metal Angel. This link leads to the LiveJournal of the author of Indecent, Sarah Katherine Lewis.
4) Christmas list: Yes, I posted one (underneath the Links section). Several people have asked me what I want and this is a list of things that I...well, want. I know that the list is long, but that's because I wanted to give everyone a whole bunch of things to choose from. Of course, I listed the items from the ones I would like to have the most to the ones that can wait, but that doesn't mean that I'm expecting to get the items at the top of the list (with the exception of the first item listed - the letter).
5) Who's hot list: I posted a list of who I think are the most attractive people in the world (underneath the Blog Archive section). They are listed in alphabetic order because I haven't been able to come up with a satisfying order yet. It also doesn't show all of the people that I put on the list because it is longer than my Christmas list. In the near future, hopefully as soon as finals are over, I will do my best to dedicate a post to each of the people on this, with pictures and/or video clips. So, even if I don't end up showing the whole list, you'll know who's on it either way.
I think that's all I have to say about blog changes...
So, I guess it's on to the other mundane stuff!
Tonight CBS will be showing the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at 10/9c, which I fully intend on watching...and umm...taping...
Oh no...hahaha...I completely forgot what else I wanted to write about...*sigh* That's just depressing...
Okay people, I had a good run at this, but I'm way out of steam (didn't know I had any to run on to begin with...), sooo, I'll write something else later.
Since I'm currently in such a poppy mood, musically, I thought I'd share this with you:
Take care people *mwah*
Sunday, December 03, 2006
An Indecent Review (don't read if you can't deal with anything remotely sexual)
Have you ever wondered what really goes on behind the closed doors of a strip club? Those sort of hidden and somewhat shady-appearing "massage parlors" or "tanning salons"?
Have you ever wondered what kind of a woman would choose to work in the adult entertainment industry?
If you have, then Indecent is *the* book for you. If you haven't...well, I would still say that this book is worth skimming through at least. Who knows, maybe you'll even find it worth actually reading... ;)
Written by a former sex worker (even though last I checked she was still working in the adult entertainment industry), Sarah Katherine Lewis gives her readers a rather sobering image of what actually goes on in this industry. I'm not going to say that the book was all good. There were some areas of the book that went by rather slowly, other areas were not as fleshed out as I would have liked them to be, and at some parts it just felt like she did not like anyone other than her colleagues. However, as life usually goes, not all is as it seems and I found out that Sarah Katherine Lewis is an unbelievably kind and sincere human being.
Her writing might seem harsh or vulgar to some at times, but overall, she reminds you of one of your friends. (At least that was the case with me.) She even manages to bring quite a bit of humor to an industry that seems to be unbelievably serious and in some areas more than just plain disgusting.
Another area of note is the way this autobiography is divided up. You do not only see the standard chapters, but also subchapters. Both the chapters and subchapters have their own unique titles, such as Holy Hand Jobs and Pussy Sweatshop as chapter titles, and various song titles as the subchapter titles.
One of the things I liked the most about Indecent, other than the book in general, was how Sarah K. Lewis described her journey from being an adult entertainment "virgin" to becoming a kind of jack...or jill of all trades in the sex industry.
Her use of vivid descriptions helps the reader step inside the world and mind of a sex worker...regardless of whether it is Ms. Lewis talking about her on-the-job "training" at a "tanning salon", her customers somehow being mysteriously and maybe even subconsciously drawn to each other's bodily fluids, her feelings about a special breed of customers she calls "relaters", how even doctors can become completely ignorant jerkwads once most or all of their blood manages to flow to their other head, or even her mentioning something as seemingly common as body image issues off and on throughout the book.
Overall, this book is a great read. You do not even have to be obsessed with sex, as I obviously seem to be to, to be able to somewhat like this book. Some of you might be disgusted with a few parts of this book, but I'm sure that if you take a look at each of your lives up until now, you should be more than able to find something that others might find remotely disgusting. Yes, life can also be highly disgusting at times...get used to it.
The way I see this book is that it is more a peek at a woman's journey in one of the most controversial and toughest industries that the free world has to offer. I can also pretty much guarantee that after you have read this book, you will most likely be ever so slightly grateful for the job you have, even though once you boil sex work down to its basic components, you will be hard-pressed to find any major differences (if any at all) between sex work and any other type of job in the service sector.
Well, that is it for me. Please let me know how you like Indecent should any of you decide to read it.
Thanks everyone! Hope you liked my review.
Love you all and thank you Sarah for responding to my message! I can't tell you how happy I was to read it!
Hugs and kisses
Have you ever wondered what kind of a woman would choose to work in the adult entertainment industry?
If you have, then Indecent is *the* book for you. If you haven't...well, I would still say that this book is worth skimming through at least. Who knows, maybe you'll even find it worth actually reading... ;)
Written by a former sex worker (even though last I checked she was still working in the adult entertainment industry), Sarah Katherine Lewis gives her readers a rather sobering image of what actually goes on in this industry. I'm not going to say that the book was all good. There were some areas of the book that went by rather slowly, other areas were not as fleshed out as I would have liked them to be, and at some parts it just felt like she did not like anyone other than her colleagues. However, as life usually goes, not all is as it seems and I found out that Sarah Katherine Lewis is an unbelievably kind and sincere human being.
Her writing might seem harsh or vulgar to some at times, but overall, she reminds you of one of your friends. (At least that was the case with me.) She even manages to bring quite a bit of humor to an industry that seems to be unbelievably serious and in some areas more than just plain disgusting.
Another area of note is the way this autobiography is divided up. You do not only see the standard chapters, but also subchapters. Both the chapters and subchapters have their own unique titles, such as Holy Hand Jobs and Pussy Sweatshop as chapter titles, and various song titles as the subchapter titles.
One of the things I liked the most about Indecent, other than the book in general, was how Sarah K. Lewis described her journey from being an adult entertainment "virgin" to becoming a kind of jack...or jill of all trades in the sex industry.
Her use of vivid descriptions helps the reader step inside the world and mind of a sex worker...regardless of whether it is Ms. Lewis talking about her on-the-job "training" at a "tanning salon", her customers somehow being mysteriously and maybe even subconsciously drawn to each other's bodily fluids, her feelings about a special breed of customers she calls "relaters", how even doctors can become completely ignorant jerkwads once most or all of their blood manages to flow to their other head, or even her mentioning something as seemingly common as body image issues off and on throughout the book.
Overall, this book is a great read. You do not even have to be obsessed with sex, as I obviously seem to be to, to be able to somewhat like this book. Some of you might be disgusted with a few parts of this book, but I'm sure that if you take a look at each of your lives up until now, you should be more than able to find something that others might find remotely disgusting. Yes, life can also be highly disgusting at times...get used to it.
The way I see this book is that it is more a peek at a woman's journey in one of the most controversial and toughest industries that the free world has to offer. I can also pretty much guarantee that after you have read this book, you will most likely be ever so slightly grateful for the job you have, even though once you boil sex work down to its basic components, you will be hard-pressed to find any major differences (if any at all) between sex work and any other type of job in the service sector.
Well, that is it for me. Please let me know how you like Indecent should any of you decide to read it.
Thanks everyone! Hope you liked my review.
Love you all and thank you Sarah for responding to my message! I can't tell you how happy I was to read it!
Hugs and kisses
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Endspurt!
Yes people, it is that time of the semester again. Just two more weeks and then...FINALS...whoooooo!!!!
No, I am definitely not drunk...or drugged. If anything, I am just unbelievably tired and I have a headache or migraine...don't know which. For those of you who have a life...(here's a hint: if you're reading this, you obviously don't, but no worries...neither do I) here is what you missed: I ended up having to go to the Quad Cities for an ultrasound and a sleep study. Yeah, THAT went well...
Thanks to the stomach flu, I now have to redo my sleep study. Aside from that, I recently found out that I have to set up another ultrasound. Not just any ultrasound though people because that would be relaxing...to me. No, I'm talking about a transvaginal ultrasound...yeah, think about that one for a few. I'm not going to say anything else about that until a later post though.
All I have to say is: Ganbatte minasan!
If you don't have finals to worry about...well, lucky you, but I'm sure you have other things to deal with, right? So, good luck with those things then!
And to all my wonderful friends, I love you all!
If you ever need or want to talk to me, you know where to find me, for I am never far from you.
Hugs and kisses!!
No, I am definitely not drunk...or drugged. If anything, I am just unbelievably tired and I have a headache or migraine...don't know which. For those of you who have a life...(here's a hint: if you're reading this, you obviously don't, but no worries...neither do I) here is what you missed: I ended up having to go to the Quad Cities for an ultrasound and a sleep study. Yeah, THAT went well...
Thanks to the stomach flu, I now have to redo my sleep study. Aside from that, I recently found out that I have to set up another ultrasound. Not just any ultrasound though people because that would be relaxing...to me. No, I'm talking about a transvaginal ultrasound...yeah, think about that one for a few. I'm not going to say anything else about that until a later post though.
All I have to say is: Ganbatte minasan!
If you don't have finals to worry about...well, lucky you, but I'm sure you have other things to deal with, right? So, good luck with those things then!
And to all my wonderful friends, I love you all!
If you ever need or want to talk to me, you know where to find me, for I am never far from you.
Hugs and kisses!!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
For Kicks And Giggles
The following video is from a German movie, well, actually parody of Star Trek. It's made by the crew of the Bullyparade (look it up if you're interested). If you belong to the unfortunate few of my American friends who I've subjected to this movie, then you should enjoy it. Heck, even without having seen this movie, you should find this video at least somewhat amusing.
Viel Vergnuegen!
Viel Vergnuegen!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Oomph! Video
Hello everyone,
I have a video I would like to share with you. It's...I think, the newest music video from one of my favorite bands Oomph!. They are a German group and their music just really strikes a chord with me. I just love their music...
So, enjoy and tell me what you think about it and/or if you want see more of their videos! Take care!
I have a video I would like to share with you. It's...I think, the newest music video from one of my favorite bands Oomph!. They are a German group and their music just really strikes a chord with me. I just love their music...
So, enjoy and tell me what you think about it and/or if you want see more of their videos! Take care!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
New playlist
As some of you may have noticed, I put up some music for your enjoyment...well, fine, for my enjoyment... Since I have the same set of songs on both this blog and my Tagged site, I thought I'd change things a little, so now I put a completely new set of songs.
If you didn't notice, then fine...there's not much I can say about that, right?
Here is a list of the songs on my current playlist (and yes, you can switch through them):
1. Some Girls (Dance With Women) - JC Chasez (What?! I actually think he's okay! I mean, he can't be worse than Justin Timberlake...)
2. 100 Ways - JC Chasez
3. Shake It - JC Chasez
4. All Day Long I Dream About Sex - JC Chasez
5. How Much Is The Fish - Scooter
6. Creep - Dannii Minogue
7. I Begin To Wonder - Dannii Minogue
8. Hey! (So What) - Dannii Minogue
9. On The Loop - Dannii Minogue
10. Push - Dannii Minogue
11. Mystified - Dannii Minogue
12. Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling - Dannii Minogue
13. Come Into My World - Kylie Minogue
14. In Your Eyes - Kylie Minogue
15. Pop - NSync (This song is actually pretty decent.)
16. Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart (I was actually looking for the newer version that was released in 2002, but I couldn't find it.)
17. Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson
So, have fun people! :)
If you didn't notice, then fine...there's not much I can say about that, right?
Here is a list of the songs on my current playlist (and yes, you can switch through them):
1. Some Girls (Dance With Women) - JC Chasez (What?! I actually think he's okay! I mean, he can't be worse than Justin Timberlake...)
2. 100 Ways - JC Chasez
3. Shake It - JC Chasez
4. All Day Long I Dream About Sex - JC Chasez
5. How Much Is The Fish - Scooter
6. Creep - Dannii Minogue
7. I Begin To Wonder - Dannii Minogue
8. Hey! (So What) - Dannii Minogue
9. On The Loop - Dannii Minogue
10. Push - Dannii Minogue
11. Mystified - Dannii Minogue
12. Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling - Dannii Minogue
13. Come Into My World - Kylie Minogue
14. In Your Eyes - Kylie Minogue
15. Pop - NSync (This song is actually pretty decent.)
16. Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart (I was actually looking for the newer version that was released in 2002, but I couldn't find it.)
17. Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson
So, have fun people! :)
Friday, November 17, 2006
Sexual Style
Do I need to say anything else about this? I think I need to get my boyfriend's opinion on this one... ;)
You scored as Hot. You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you.
What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com |
Thursday, November 16, 2006
How dumb am I really?
According to this, obviously not that dumb, or I'm just extremely lucky. However, if I look at my track record with being lucky, I'm going to go with the "not being that dumb" answer.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
A little somethin' somethin'
I decided to write about something today that seems to be all too familiar to me. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. If you're bothered by the lack of punctuation or anything in that area, remember that it's supposed to be like that way. I guess it is more a stream of thought...so enjoy, that is, if you enjoy stuff like this...
I'm sitting here
alone in the bathroom
looking at the knife in my hand
My hand is shaking uncontrollably
as if something inside is resisting the temptation
The temptation to end it all
the irresistible urge to escape from this cage
Why I am doing this?
What exactly am I thinking?
Something inside of me is stirring
something darker and more dangerous than anything else in this universe
It speaks to me
its words sharper than the knife I am holding
What's wrong?
What are you afraid of?
You have nothing to lose
Nobody cares about you
Nobody will miss you
Nobody will notice that you're gone
You are worthless
You can't do anything right
Not even this
My whole body is trembling
I can barely breathe
My heart feels like it's going to explode
Tears are rolling down my face
What is the big deal anyway?
All I have to do is make a few strategically placed cuts
No, I can't!!!!
With a renewed outburst of tears and a sense of frustration
I throw the knife into the bathtub
Does this mean I'm done?
Hardly
I take a handful of pills
I don't even know what they are all for
All I know is that they will take away the pain
for a few hours at least
As I get up
I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror
No...it's not mine
It's the image of my enemy
The image of someone worthless
someone who doesn't deserve to live
I feel my blood start to boil
and as I stare her in the eyes
I punch her
The glass shatters
and my hand starts to bleed
it starts to hurt
but I don't care
As I lick the blood off of my hand
I can't help but feel some odd sense of fulfillment
and satisfaction
I'm sitting here
alone in the bathroom
looking at the knife in my hand
My hand is shaking uncontrollably
as if something inside is resisting the temptation
The temptation to end it all
the irresistible urge to escape from this cage
Why I am doing this?
What exactly am I thinking?
Something inside of me is stirring
something darker and more dangerous than anything else in this universe
It speaks to me
its words sharper than the knife I am holding
What's wrong?
What are you afraid of?
You have nothing to lose
Nobody cares about you
Nobody will miss you
Nobody will notice that you're gone
You are worthless
You can't do anything right
Not even this
My whole body is trembling
I can barely breathe
My heart feels like it's going to explode
Tears are rolling down my face
What is the big deal anyway?
All I have to do is make a few strategically placed cuts
No, I can't!!!!
With a renewed outburst of tears and a sense of frustration
I throw the knife into the bathtub
Does this mean I'm done?
Hardly
I take a handful of pills
I don't even know what they are all for
All I know is that they will take away the pain
for a few hours at least
As I get up
I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror
No...it's not mine
It's the image of my enemy
The image of someone worthless
someone who doesn't deserve to live
I feel my blood start to boil
and as I stare her in the eyes
I punch her
The glass shatters
and my hand starts to bleed
it starts to hurt
but I don't care
As I lick the blood off of my hand
I can't help but feel some odd sense of fulfillment
and satisfaction
Thursday, November 09, 2006
What's up little man?
Yesterday was quite interesting... The strain of cold I have currently managed to knock me out cold until it was too late to go to class. This didn't really make me happy, but there's not much I can do if my body is practically forcing me into a time out. I still went to work though, which might not have been smart, but I need to earn money, so I don't have many legal options in that area. After work, I went to the mall to say hi to my boyfriend and to have my hair cut. This is where I saw him, a little boy came into the salon with his dad and he didn't look happy at all. I thought it was kind of cute because he seemed to be pouting for the heck of it. So, I'm looking at this kid and all of a sudden, he turns to stare at me. Not look, stare. I actually felt like someone had slapped me, so I tried not to continue looking at this kid. Now, not many people make me feel like this, let alone a child, but for some odd reason, he made me feel really uncomfortable. So, the dad and his son sit down in the chairs next to me, and what happens a few minutes later? This little boy is starting to burn holes in the side of my head with all of the staring he's doing. There were a few moments when I actually wanted to face this kid and ask "What is your problem?!". I didn't want to do that next to the boy's father though and I don't think I would've done it anyway. However, if his father hadn't been right there, I would've stared right back since that usually puts an end to it. Somehow I get the feeling though, that staring back at this particular guy, would not have stopped him from staring.
Ah well, what can you do?
I, however, need to get ready to go to class.
Talk to everyone soon,
Bettina
Ah well, what can you do?
I, however, need to get ready to go to class.
Talk to everyone soon,
Bettina
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Sex on the brain
Okay, so maybe it's me being sick for the third time during the last 30 days, maybe it's my hormones...I don't know...but right now, I am constantly thinking about sex. Now, I'm in a relationship with a person I really love, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about who to have sex with, how much, how long, how rough, what positions, etc. I feel like Jessica Alba's character in Dark Angel, Max Guevera, who had cat genes mixed in with her DNA, which had the great effect of sending her into a sexual frenzy every so often. This makes for an absolutely hilarious episode, or in some cases a somewhat sad episode, when she ends up sleeping with some guy, even though she loves Logan. However, it's not very funny when you experience something similar in real life...at least not when there isn't much you can do about it... So, I can't actually have sex because...I have a boyfriend who wants to wait (I respect this choice, I'm not blaming him for my dilemma), which means that my code of ethics forbids me from doing anything stupid...and I can't or don't feel comfortable masturbating since I am currently having my period and whatnot...so I am really trying to get at least some of the sex out of my head.
So yeah, I'm sick in more ways than one...but what else is new... As much as I like sex (this doesn't necessarily pertain to intercourse alone), and as much as it is an inherent part of all of us, I don't want to have to think about it all the time, especially with me feeling as weak and dizzy as I am at the moment...
Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing fine and I'll write again soon.
Baibai
So yeah, I'm sick in more ways than one...but what else is new... As much as I like sex (this doesn't necessarily pertain to intercourse alone), and as much as it is an inherent part of all of us, I don't want to have to think about it all the time, especially with me feeling as weak and dizzy as I am at the moment...
Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing fine and I'll write again soon.
Baibai
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Updates
Hello everyone!
I just wanted to inform everyone of two new links that I have put in my Links section. Of course, you can't see all of that information right off because it has all been shoved down to the bottom of this page. I know that there's probably a way to fix it, but it's still here, so I don't really care too much.
Anyway, updates. New links. Yeah.
Both of them have to do with me because I have decided to start a Myspace and since I have been "tagged" by two of my friends, I now have also joined that community. I made both of the sites accessible to the public, so you should be able to take a look at them.
If you want to take a look at them, you can either scroll all the way down to my Links section and you will find them listed as "Bettina on Tagged" and "Bettina on Myspace". That way you can also take a look at some other interesting links that may not be new, but pretty much all of them lead to the sites of my friends, so show them some love! One I especially recommend is the link listed as Trifthen because there's always something interesting to read and it's very well-written.
However, if you're too lazy to scroll down (sit back down and stop pouting...I'm extremely lazy right now too), I will just list them in this post:
1) http://www.tagged.com/benedettasophia
2) http://www.myspace.com/benedettasophia
Should you feel the urge to write any comments about any of my posts on my Tagged and Myspace sites, just write it in the comments section of the latest post here, or write me a message (if you know my e-mail address).
Okay, I'm done.
Have a good night,
Bettina
I just wanted to inform everyone of two new links that I have put in my Links section. Of course, you can't see all of that information right off because it has all been shoved down to the bottom of this page. I know that there's probably a way to fix it, but it's still here, so I don't really care too much.
Anyway, updates. New links. Yeah.
Both of them have to do with me because I have decided to start a Myspace and since I have been "tagged" by two of my friends, I now have also joined that community. I made both of the sites accessible to the public, so you should be able to take a look at them.
If you want to take a look at them, you can either scroll all the way down to my Links section and you will find them listed as "Bettina on Tagged" and "Bettina on Myspace". That way you can also take a look at some other interesting links that may not be new, but pretty much all of them lead to the sites of my friends, so show them some love! One I especially recommend is the link listed as Trifthen because there's always something interesting to read and it's very well-written.
However, if you're too lazy to scroll down (sit back down and stop pouting...I'm extremely lazy right now too), I will just list them in this post:
1) http://www.tagged.com/benedettasophia
2) http://www.myspace.com/benedettasophia
Should you feel the urge to write any comments about any of my posts on my Tagged and Myspace sites, just write it in the comments section of the latest post here, or write me a message (if you know my e-mail address).
Okay, I'm done.
Have a good night,
Bettina
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Something Gorier Than The Bloodiest Horror Movie
Well, just when you thought you were safe, something pops up and grabs you from behind, or in this case, lays in the toilet bowl and waits to be discovered...
As some of you might recall, I am having issues with one of my roommates. Well, that most certainly hasn't changed...but it does seem like he's trying to outdo himself every now and then.
So, what did he do yesterday? First, when I informed him of his current debt, he pretty much snapped back: "You already told me that". Of course, this was what it sounded: "Would you shut up already?! I don't want to deal with you or my debt. You're getting my (expletively deleted) nerves".
I almost took his head off for that response, but instead I just told him: "No, I didn't tell you about the most current amount you owe...but don't worry, it will increase". Of course, I used the most appropriate tone I could without yelling at him or beating him up for that.
Now, getting back to the toilet...
My boyfriend was on his way to bed and needed to use the bathroom upstairs, when, all of sudden, he asked me to come upstairs with a really worried look on his face. Since he was looking at the bathroom, I thought that my "special" roommate had, yet again, left the bathroom door open and the toilet lid up, which pisses me off enough as it is... However, I shouldn't be so lucky this time because as I walked closer to the bathroom, I saw that this jerk had managed to not flush the toilet, so I could practically tell what he had had to eat. The thing that made it even more disgusting was that there was absolutely no toilet paper in the toilet bowl...
So yeah, I had a fun end to my day.
Sorry if I ruined anyone else's day...
Take care everyone and ja mata,
Bettina
As some of you might recall, I am having issues with one of my roommates. Well, that most certainly hasn't changed...but it does seem like he's trying to outdo himself every now and then.
So, what did he do yesterday? First, when I informed him of his current debt, he pretty much snapped back: "You already told me that". Of course, this was what it sounded: "Would you shut up already?! I don't want to deal with you or my debt. You're getting my (expletively deleted) nerves".
I almost took his head off for that response, but instead I just told him: "No, I didn't tell you about the most current amount you owe...but don't worry, it will increase". Of course, I used the most appropriate tone I could without yelling at him or beating him up for that.
Now, getting back to the toilet...
My boyfriend was on his way to bed and needed to use the bathroom upstairs, when, all of sudden, he asked me to come upstairs with a really worried look on his face. Since he was looking at the bathroom, I thought that my "special" roommate had, yet again, left the bathroom door open and the toilet lid up, which pisses me off enough as it is... However, I shouldn't be so lucky this time because as I walked closer to the bathroom, I saw that this jerk had managed to not flush the toilet, so I could practically tell what he had had to eat. The thing that made it even more disgusting was that there was absolutely no toilet paper in the toilet bowl...
So yeah, I had a fun end to my day.
Sorry if I ruined anyone else's day...
Take care everyone and ja mata,
Bettina
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Here's to you Dad
I am posting this to show my dad that, obviously, you can never be too young to be sarcastic. So, Dad, be proud of your completely sarcastic daughter because she won't be going anywhere.
Yet again, take this test if you can and want, and please let me know what you got.
Take care,
Bettina
Yet again, take this test if you can and want, and please let me know what you got.
You're Totally Sarcastic |
 You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad. |
Take care,
Bettina
Sunday, October 22, 2006
What Story Character Am I?
Which Classic Story Role Do You Play?
- You Are The Outlaw
"Sure, I'll do it. My way."
Just because you do not conform to the same laws and rules as everyone else does not mean that you are a bad guy. You travel your own path, separate from those around you, with your own reasons for doing what you do. Because of this and your own nature, it goes without saying that you are generally misunderstood. That does not matter much, though, as people love you for being who you are. You are pretty well set in your ways and have no real intention of changing. This can come across as a flicker of arrogance if your not careful. You do what is right for you, and God help anyone who stands in your way.
Take this quiz!
Quizilla |
Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Today's Test Results are in
DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING REMOTELY SEXUAL, PLEASE SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST.
| Curvy and Naughty Raw score: 66% Big Breasts, 45% Big Ass, and 40% Cute! |
 Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to larger breasts, larger asses, and sexier composures than others who've taken the test. Note that you like women overall curvier than average. My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sexier, naughtier look. Kudos! Recommended Celebrities: Supermodel Laetitia Casta and Actress Angelina Jolie. |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Friday, October 13, 2006
Not dead...yet
Hello everyone,
I just wanted to show everyone that I am still somewhat alive. I am pissed off (but what else is new in that area) and I'm tired and I'm depressed... Everything seems to be going horribly wrong and I can't seem to do anything right.
My bank is being uncharacteristically stupid, since they put the money I deposited last week on hold and finally lifted the hold today...after my rent check bounced yesterday.
Of course, everyone had such bright ideas, which they shared with me after I had deposited the money. Now, in addition to everything else, I feel incredibly dumb. I know that we all need to make our own mistakes, but finances are an area you can't afford to make mistakes in.
Ah well, this was supposed to be me saying "Hi, I hope everyone is okay." and not another rant.
All I want to do is play the "Start Over" card at this point in my life. You know, just die and be reborn. Maybe I'll make it to 25 on my next round...
Sorry, for the incredibly depressing post...
Take care,
Bettina
I just wanted to show everyone that I am still somewhat alive. I am pissed off (but what else is new in that area) and I'm tired and I'm depressed... Everything seems to be going horribly wrong and I can't seem to do anything right.
My bank is being uncharacteristically stupid, since they put the money I deposited last week on hold and finally lifted the hold today...after my rent check bounced yesterday.
Of course, everyone had such bright ideas, which they shared with me after I had deposited the money. Now, in addition to everything else, I feel incredibly dumb. I know that we all need to make our own mistakes, but finances are an area you can't afford to make mistakes in.
Ah well, this was supposed to be me saying "Hi, I hope everyone is okay." and not another rant.
All I want to do is play the "Start Over" card at this point in my life. You know, just die and be reborn. Maybe I'll make it to 25 on my next round...
Sorry, for the incredibly depressing post...
Take care,
Bettina
Friday, September 29, 2006
Response to comments
I know that I'm not doing too well, and I'm fully aware that there are people out there suffering from potentially fatal heart conditions or from depleted uranium. It doesn't console me because then I imagine what those people must feel like. It angers me because I want to do something to help, but can't.
Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing sort of decent. I'm slowly recovering, but I do feel waves of aggression washing over me, which really isn't anything new these days...
Oh well, I need to get to bed.
All of my love out to everyone,
Bettina
Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing sort of decent. I'm slowly recovering, but I do feel waves of aggression washing over me, which really isn't anything new these days...
Oh well, I need to get to bed.
All of my love out to everyone,
Bettina
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Issues
Well, after a very stressful summer, my biological clock screwing around with me, an ovarian cyst that likes making itself known every now and then, a roommate who is still pissing me off (but who now at least has a job), money shortage, online courses to finish up, forms that need to be filled out, doctors who need to be seen, a cold having managed to spring up on me (which is now gone), a wrist that mysteriously hurts, and all of the regular stuff that needs to be taken care of, it seems that it has finally all caught up with me. I am saying this because I missed going to my classes today, which I feel absolutely horrible about! I went to bed at my usual time and I set my alarm, so I guess that I'm just completely worn out now. I wrote one of my professors apologizing and explaining why I wasn't in class. He responded that if I was worried about my grade, I should go to the health center on campus and have them check on me and write me a note. There are a few problems that I have with that: 1) It's on campus and I live about 30 minutes outside off campus, 2) umm, I'm not going to visit a doctor who will tell me that the majority of my pain was caused by something called menstruation, and 3) I'm also not going to go see a doctor to write me a note about having a cold. Unfortunately, I should probably go see a doctor about my wrist, but I already told myself that if the pain's still there in a month or it gets drastically worse within the next week or so...then I'll go see a doctor. Other than that, I know that I'm doing well enough in school to not be overly worried about my grades.
I really don't know why I typed this post...I guess I just wanted to get rid of some steam...
Okay, I guess I'll end the post here and go bang my head into a table or wall several times.
Tschuess! *mwah*
I really don't know why I typed this post...I guess I just wanted to get rid of some steam...
Okay, I guess I'll end the post here and go bang my head into a table or wall several times.
Tschuess! *mwah*
New Test Results
| Neo-Liberal You scored 45% Personal Liberty and 27% Economic Liberty! |
| A neo-liberal believes in moderate government intervention on personal matters and moderate to high government intervention on economic matters. They believe in a social safety net or welfare state and try to balance personal liberty with safety or security. Some neo-liberals believe in more foreign intervention or war then most other leftists. Others are more like Centrist Democrats. More authoritarian-leaning Neo-liberals (such as personal 40/economic 30) are the result of a "fusion" between "old left" and "new right" tendencies. |
 |
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Politics Test written by brainpolice on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
| the Perfectionist Thanks for taking the test ! | ||
you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE. "I do everything the right way"Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. How to Get Along with Me
What I Like About Being a One
What's Hard About Being a One
Ones as Children Often
Ones as Parents
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy
you wanna know MORE? or do you prefer to
You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose CZ Would you rather have chosen: | ||
 | ||
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Whoo! More links
Well, I finally managed to add on two more links to my links section. The first one is listed as "I am a Japanese Teacher", which is a mostly amazingly funny set of stories written by a young man, who entered the JET program (which allows you to go overseas as an assistant teacher...well, that's one of JET's programs) and was sent to Japan. So, these stories are the incredible experiences that this man has while teaching in Japan.
The second new link is listed as "Chris in Japan", which is pretty self-explanatory, much like the aforementioned link... Chris is a good friend of mine, who will be spending some time studying in Japan, so he has decided to document his adventures abroad via the internet.
Actually, Chris is the person who had originally sent me the "I am a Japanese Teacher" link. So, here I am spreading the wealth...
Ah well, it's late, I'm tired and still in pain, so I guess I'll talk some more at a later time.
Take care, everyone.
The second new link is listed as "Chris in Japan", which is pretty self-explanatory, much like the aforementioned link... Chris is a good friend of mine, who will be spending some time studying in Japan, so he has decided to document his adventures abroad via the internet.
Actually, Chris is the person who had originally sent me the "I am a Japanese Teacher" link. So, here I am spreading the wealth...
Ah well, it's late, I'm tired and still in pain, so I guess I'll talk some more at a later time.
Take care, everyone.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
New test
| Lawful Good You scored 67% Law vs Chaos and 66% Good vs Evil! |
| Keep this in mind, before you read this and take it too seriously... This test is based on a system of moral absolutes. There is no subjectivity in D&D, as it is based on a fantasy world of heroes and villains. That is why their alignment system is so simple and polar. So naturally, if I were to apply this simple morality to modern day life, things would look very "black and white". That is why I watered down the concept of evil and good. It is very unlikely that anyone who takes this test is a mass murderer or a superhero, so Mean vs. Nice will have to take the place of good vs. evil. Lawfulness and Good in a nutshell: -Lawful characters are organized and rational. They believe that order is important, and they respect authority. They tend to be fairly rigid in their beliefs and behavior, but this is not always the case. -Good characters believe in doing the right thing. They help others when possible, and they are usually friendly. Your Alignment: "Crusader" Lawful Good, eh? I hope you're proud of yourself. It's easy to live by the rules, but not so easy to have a strong conscience. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do both and not go insane. It's possible that you are a bit holier-than-thou, but not necessarily. At least you mean well. Way to go! |
 |
My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The D&D Alignment Test written by ShatteredGlass1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Friday, September 22, 2006
Nothing in particular
Well, I would like to thank Shaun and Anonymous for their wonderful ideas. I've basically come to the conclusion that if he doesn't start paying by Nov. 1st, he will have to move out. Supposedly, he got a call from McDonald, but I don't know what's going on with that exactly. I must be a horrible person because a part of me wants him to screw up and to keep on not paying, but that's probably because he's already pissed me off more than enough.
Right now, I should be in class, but my mind and body have been working so hard lately that I've caught a slight cold, both of my knees hurt, my right ankle hurts, my left wrist hurts, my head hurts, and so on. There is some good news though, due to all of the stressful events that have or had been going on for the last month or two, I didn't have my period last month and with the way things were going this month, I was afraid that the same thing was going to happen. Fortunately, my period started up again yesterday, which, despite all the additional pain and fatigue that it is giving me, I am very happy about.
Other good news: My boyfriend is now employed and I have a job I am happy with. Bad news: My boyfriend is going to put himself further into debt to help pay the rent and other bills, I'm going to use up all of the money in my account to do the same, and I am going to have to ask one of my roommates (the one with a job and money) to pay more than his share for now.
Anyway, I should be ending this post now because there are bills to be paid, mail to be sent out, people to be called, kids to be watched, books to be read, homework to be done, exams to be studied for, people to be pissed off at, so...yeah.
Have a nice day everyone. *wave, wave, wave, wave*
Right now, I should be in class, but my mind and body have been working so hard lately that I've caught a slight cold, both of my knees hurt, my right ankle hurts, my left wrist hurts, my head hurts, and so on. There is some good news though, due to all of the stressful events that have or had been going on for the last month or two, I didn't have my period last month and with the way things were going this month, I was afraid that the same thing was going to happen. Fortunately, my period started up again yesterday, which, despite all the additional pain and fatigue that it is giving me, I am very happy about.
Other good news: My boyfriend is now employed and I have a job I am happy with. Bad news: My boyfriend is going to put himself further into debt to help pay the rent and other bills, I'm going to use up all of the money in my account to do the same, and I am going to have to ask one of my roommates (the one with a job and money) to pay more than his share for now.
Anyway, I should be ending this post now because there are bills to be paid, mail to be sent out, people to be called, kids to be watched, books to be read, homework to be done, exams to be studied for, people to be pissed off at, so...yeah.
Have a nice day everyone. *wave, wave, wave, wave*
Monday, September 18, 2006
Completely and utterly beside myself
I never thought I would have to do this, but it has already gotten to this point: Having to hide the remote control from one of my roommates.
First of all, let me bring everyone up to speed on this: When I started this blog, I lived in Iowa City with my boyfriend. At the beginning of 2006, we took in one of our mutual friends, who really wasn't getting along with his father and needed to get away from him. During 2006, amidst making plans to move to a different city in a different state, I had agreed to take in another one of my boyfriend's friends. I only did this because I knew he had had a job at the time, he was planning on moving to the same area as we were anyway, I had heard that he, too, was having issues with his father, and...it seemed like a good idea at the time.
However, I should have known better, and so far, these are a few things that he has been doing: taking his sweet time in the employment area, sleeping in the basement, showing up late for his first day at his new job, jumping down the stairs to the basement because it "seemed like a good idea at the time" and having to go to the hospital due to a head injury, questioning everything he is asked to do, spending money he doesn't have, using our possessions without asking our permission, spreading out into all areas of the duplex, not paying any part of the rent or utilities, and so on...
So, that leads me to today's reason to be pissed off at him: I am not feeling well at all, I am on medication, my right knee hurts soooo much, and I am still going to school and work today. And where do I find this enormous prick? In the living room, watching football, eating breakfast, still awake from the night before, and when he finally did turn the TV back off, he went back downstairs, which is where he'll continue to sit in front of his computer, probably fall asleep (you have a friggin' room, you moron!!!), and then he'll probably refuse to help with any of the housework...among various other things.
You see, it just seems like he is mooching off of everyone here, and now he has even managed to invade what little "me"-time I have.
Sorry, I am just soooo pissed off right now...and I still have the whole day ahead of me...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I need to get ready to leave for school, I can't stay here, at least not for the next few hours.
Okay, I hope that everyone else is having a more pleasant day than I am right now.
Take care and kisses all around!
First of all, let me bring everyone up to speed on this: When I started this blog, I lived in Iowa City with my boyfriend. At the beginning of 2006, we took in one of our mutual friends, who really wasn't getting along with his father and needed to get away from him. During 2006, amidst making plans to move to a different city in a different state, I had agreed to take in another one of my boyfriend's friends. I only did this because I knew he had had a job at the time, he was planning on moving to the same area as we were anyway, I had heard that he, too, was having issues with his father, and...it seemed like a good idea at the time.
However, I should have known better, and so far, these are a few things that he has been doing: taking his sweet time in the employment area, sleeping in the basement, showing up late for his first day at his new job, jumping down the stairs to the basement because it "seemed like a good idea at the time" and having to go to the hospital due to a head injury, questioning everything he is asked to do, spending money he doesn't have, using our possessions without asking our permission, spreading out into all areas of the duplex, not paying any part of the rent or utilities, and so on...
So, that leads me to today's reason to be pissed off at him: I am not feeling well at all, I am on medication, my right knee hurts soooo much, and I am still going to school and work today. And where do I find this enormous prick? In the living room, watching football, eating breakfast, still awake from the night before, and when he finally did turn the TV back off, he went back downstairs, which is where he'll continue to sit in front of his computer, probably fall asleep (you have a friggin' room, you moron!!!), and then he'll probably refuse to help with any of the housework...among various other things.
You see, it just seems like he is mooching off of everyone here, and now he has even managed to invade what little "me"-time I have.
Sorry, I am just soooo pissed off right now...and I still have the whole day ahead of me...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I need to get ready to leave for school, I can't stay here, at least not for the next few hours.
Okay, I hope that everyone else is having a more pleasant day than I am right now.
Take care and kisses all around!
Monday, September 04, 2006
Look, a kitty!
Well, this is a picture of my baby Yumeko. Of course, she is quite a bit bigger now, but I will post some more current pictures as soon as I can.
Hmm, there are plenty of other things that I could write about in this post, but that can wait until a later time.
Take care.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
OH NO!!!
Please go to http://www.savestargatesg1.com and read up on what you can do to save Stargate SG-1. I will do as much as I can as well, so if you want to see one of the best series continue, then please do your part.
And most important of all:
WATCH STARGATE ON SCI-FI EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)