Watashi ga taizen da to omoimasu.

Well, Anime Central is over and all of my boys are at home again. Because I didn't/couldn't go this year, I was, of course, very curious of what went on. Naturally, the one person I didn't need to hear from, I, well, inadvertently heard from (mainly because the living room TV doesn't work). I got to hear him say things about friends of mine. Things that I didn't really appreciate...especially since they were coming from him. He also took a stab at trying to figure out why my friend/roommate (as opposed to my boyfriend/roommate...or as opposed to him, the prick/roommate) attended conventions. However, he doesn't know jack about anything or anyone, so he should shut up!
Anyway, I've slept on it and decided that it would be completely against my usual personality to curse him out. It's hard. Really hard, but I know what types of people my friends are (or at the very least, I have a much better clue than he does) and if I let him get to me, it will just go to show that he is of some significance in my life. If I've learned anything in the past 21 years, it's that ignoring someone/something is more damaging than any physical or verbal attacks that I could hand out.
I think that's all I have to say for now. And yes, I actually do feel quite calm/self-possessed.

Take care mina san!

Es ist wieder Zeit fuer einen deutschen Eintrag

Tja, es ist schon ziemlich lange her seit meinem letzten deutschen Eintrag, nicht wahr?
Heute ist Muttertag, also "Alles Gute!" an alle Muetter, Grossmuetter, und an die Leute, die sich liebend um andere kuemmern.
Was geht bei mir heute ab? Nichts...ueberhaupt nichts! Ich bin gestern ins Kino gegangen und hab "Hot Fuzz" angeguckt...alleine!...und dann bin ich etwas spaeter ins Bett.
Unglaublicherweise bin ich nach nur drei Stunden oder so aufgewacht! Ich hab schon gedacht, dass es mittags ist, aber nein...es ist erst 8 Uhr morgens gewesen.
Schon seltsam, oder?
Hmmm...ich bin gerade dabei drei Buecher zu lesen und ich schaue mir "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" und "Excel Saga" an. Also, sehr viel geht bei mir momentan nicht vor...
Na ja, hoffentlich melde ich mich bald wieder!

Passt gut auf euch auf!

Melancholy reigns supreme

I usually avoid songs like this, but somehow I am in an especially melancholic mood right now. So, this song just happened to draw me in, and I can relate to it almost completely...and I believe that I'm not the only one.
So, here is another video: Girls Aloud's "Life got Cold" off of their first album Sound of the Underground.

Some things are too good to be true

Well, as some of you might know, I suffered from a pretty bad cold for about two weeks last month, and was recovering from an exceptionally stubborn cough. This week my body decided it would be nice to add a series of vicious sneezes into the mix. Now, I'm getting the odd feeling that the sneezes might not be from another cold, but an allergy instead. Here's my problem: What the hell am I allergic to?!? I've had these types of sneezes before, but after going through two allergy tests, they weren't able to find anything. Sure, the doctors suggested that I might belong to a group of people who experience allergic reactions through the nasal cavities, but I never went through that kind of an allergy test.
For now, all I can do is take some allergy medication and do my best to find out what I am allergic to. I usually don't like taking allergy medication because it causes practically all of my muscles to relax, which is bad for driving, cleaning, and...gymnastics, among many other activities. Oh well...shikata ga nai ne.
Anyway, I need to shower, take more allergy medication, and think about whether or not I want to go to the movies (and if so, what movie I would like to see).
Hopefully, this will get better soon.

Take care mina san.

I'm done! Yatta! Yatta!

Well, the semester is now officially over for me...and now all I want to do is poke holes in the air or pass out. Unfortunately, I am only granted a brief reprieve since I have to set up a new schedule, look at apartments in Urbana/Champaign/Savoy, pick one, do some major cleaning, find a supplementary job during my "vacation", and fulfill all of the duties that I am usually expected to fulfill.
This semester, like the last, was a disaster. Unlike last semester, it didn't take such a high toll on my already cracked emotional/mental/physical states, which I am quite grateful for. Who knows...maybe by the time I graduate, everything will be the way it was...umm...before 2006, I suppose?
Ah well, enough of my whiny ass. I have a bladder to empty and body to feed. Maybe I can write about something more positive in my next post.

Take care mina san!

Babbling Benedetta

Well, May is finally here and a potent combination of excitement, anxiety, and sorrow are leaving me with the same bittersweet aftertaste that blood usually does. I want to feel some relief, but all the scratching in the world couldn't get rid of this itch...at least not until about a month after finals.

I met quite a few interesting people this semester, which doesn't happen a lot. Of course, being in a Japanese class with only about 12 students kind of forces you to get to know everyone else. So, now I'm quite sad thinking about all of the laughs and conversations we shared in and out of class. But who knows, we might be able to stay in touch and see each other again in other classes.

Yesterday I took my Japanese final, so now I have three more to go. I know I won't get 100% on the final, but I think that I did quite well.

What else has been going on? Well, the remnants of a cold that just don't seem to want to go away, a right knee that has been bugging me (which is odd since that's supposed to be my good knee), a sudden increase in dizzy spells again (which might be caused by the combination of a cold and anti-depressants), overwhelming nausea (that is probably also caused by anti-depressants and/or thyroid medication), and experiencing the oh-so-familiar pain that accompanies my ovulation (only this time, it seems I am dealing with two eggs instead of one, since both ovaries are causing me pain).
I know that things could be far worse, so I'm glad to have been given this relatively minor burden.

Other news: I was planning on going to Anime Central this year, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be...*sob, sob* I'll be fine as soon as the convention's over...and I guess I'm already over the fact that I'm not going...at least I'm not feeling anything at the moment. Sure, it would have been great, but oh well.

Next topic... My dad and my younger sister had their birthdays this week...and my younger brother's will this upcoming week, so yay...I guess. Three Taureans in one family...that's at least two Taureans too many. At least.

Umm...well, I can't really think of anything else to babble on about. Not now, at least.

So, have a nice evening mina san, don't fall on your faces, but if you must...do it with flair.

Video clips galore

Yes, I'm lazy. I'll write an actual post...umm...later today. Right now, I just want have everyone to join in the fun and watch some funny clips...or disgusting...maybe both. Learn to like them, okay?

Okay, don't watch this if you don't like Japanese TV or homosexuals (well, very flaming homosexuals) or butts or faces on butts or...oh, who cares? Just watch it and damn me later.



I just watched this one for the first time a few minutes ago and at least my boyfriend and I thought it was hilarious. It's nothing against Lindsay Lohan, but it's still funny.



This clip is in German and sadly enough, without English subtitles. It is from a German comedy show called Die Wochenshow and it's kind of like Saturday Night Live or Mad TV. This clip is from one of my favorite skits Sex TV with Brisko Schneider. My mother should really appreciate it. If you want to know what they're talking about in this clip, just send me a message and I'll be more than happy to provide explanations. Other than that, it doesn't really matter if you understand it or not, it's still funny to watch and listen to the voices.



Again, a clip from Die Wochenshow, but this time from another one of my favorite skits Der Erklaerbaer.



I know, another German clip. For this one, you really don't need to get what is being said. It's from another comedy show, Bullyparade, and the clip is called Der kleine Hitler (Little/small Hitler...yes, that Hitler). It's a hilarious clip.



This is from Bully's Partnerboerse, also from Bullyparade. Here the people get to say what kind of a partner they are looking for (kind of like classified ads, but on TV), but that often doesn't go the way it's supposed to...













Another clip from Bullyparade. This time it's Robin Hood showing off his gangsta rapper style. And guess what...it's in English! (Yay!)



Okay, I'm done. Too many video clips for one post. I'll type another one in a few hours. I need sleep people, so good night.

British Invasion

Well, I'm too lazy to post something more extensive, but I would still like to share a video. It's from the British girl group Girls Aloud, who have released quite a few cover and power pop songs (well, around 4 albums worth). I like them and their sound in general. In addition to that, they all happen to be quite attractive.
So, have fun with it, dance, sing, jump...pretty much whatever floats your boat.
Oh, and...take care people.

Shameless Plugs and 100th Post (yay!)

Well, I have two sites for everyone to visit. If you check my Links section, you will see one listed as Fulltang. Click on this and it will lead you to the Livejournal of one of my dear friends. Just read his posts and show hime your love. Maybe he'll update more often if more than one or two people read and comment on his posts.
The second site was set up by one of my closest and dearest friends. Again, check the Links section, click on Trifthen's Webfiction (it's listed directly underneath the link listed as Trifthen), and read his entries. He has been superbusy writing chapter outlines and typing up these entries. Yet again, show him your love by reading these entries and sending him comments on his main site. So far, I like what I've been reading and no, this is not me "buttering him up".
As you can see in the title, this is also my 100th post, which really isn't that impressive, considering how long I've had this blog. I'm still happy about it though.
Well, I guess I'm done for today. I'll try and update soon. As soon as I possibly can, at least.

Take care mina san!

300

Well, I said I would post more about 300, so this is exactly what I'm doing now. This is such a pretty movie, even with the violent nature of this movie. It's funny because yes, the movie is violent, but the violence isn't overpowering. 99% of this movie is filled with men, which I'm perfectly fine with. I mean, this movie does deal with Spartans, so that means loads of testosterone. Of course, there were women in the movie, but most of them were extras. This made it relatively easy for Lena Headey to stand out as the only main female in 300. Not that she has any problems standing out in a crowd of females... Lena Headey played the beautiful and strong Spartan Queen Gorgo, in case "the only main female" wasn't a dead giveaway. I am always surprised with Lena Headey because she almost always looks kind of tough and edgy at conventions and other public appearances, but she's always so soft and feminine onscreen (she never loses her toughness though).
This sort of leads into my next point: the love scene between King Leonidas and Queen Gorgo. It was quite interesting to watch, especially because the audience either started giggling, talking about something completely unrelated, or everyone just shut up. I had read somewhere that this love scene was described as "Skinamax", which for those of you who don't know, Skinamax is a reference to the softcore porn movies shown on the Cinemax channels. I don't know how true that is since I've only seen one of those movies and I was listening to two gay guys pretty much discuss and question the appeal of heterosexual sex. So...yeah. Anyway, with how male-centric this movie was overall, I thought it was quite fascinating that the love scene was female-centric. You barely saw anything of King Leonidas and that Queen Gorgo was quite clearly enjoying herself. I don't know if this was on purpose or what was going on, but I just thought I'd point it out.
Now onto Xerxes... He is tall!!! (Yes, I realize that the actor isn't actually that tall, but I can still be impressed.) Okay, while I was watching 300, I kept on thinking "You know who would make good-looking Spartan? Rodrigo Santoro." Then I found out he played Xerxes! What?! That was a surprise... Rodrigo Santoro can play the really sweet good guy and the hot bad guy, but I was surprised that I couldn't recognize him. I don't know why I was because he was covered in chains, gold paint and make-up, he was bald and they decided to record another voice over his.
Another person who stood out was David Wenham, who played Dilios. Dilios was pretty much the narrator and was also the guy, who had his eye covered up with cloth. I never would have guessed that David could bulk up the way he did for this movie because he just didn't seem like that kind of a person. In addition to that, he was already attractive without showing off so much of his body. There's not much else that I could say about him. He's just amazing. I love his voice, his face, and his overall personality.
The last person I would like to talk about is my favorite actor and someone I consider to be one of the most attractive people ever. Gerard Butler was, in my opinion, the perfect choice for King Leonidas. He has a very strong voice and presence, and he doesn't lack any emotions. I've been a fan of Gerard's for about 5 or 6 years now and he never ceases to amaze me. I was kind of expecting his career to take off after "The Phantom of the Opera", which didn't really happen, so maybe he will gain the success he deserves after this.
So, 300 is definitely worth watching, at least once. And...if there's anything I've missed, or anything you would like my opinion on (yeah right), just let me know.
That's all from me for today. I am now off to enjoy my first day of spring break, or at least I will attempt to. I also can't wait for 300 to be released on DVD. Yes, I'm a horrible person.
Okay, I'm done. Let's hope that this won't be my last post.

Take care people

Alive...barely

Well, I'm going to keep this short, sweet, and simple...maybe. All you need to know is that I'm still alive (kind of), and I am doing my best to keep my world intact.
I went to the midnight showing of 300 on Friday morning. 300 is such a pretty movie...
I won't be writing much about it in this post, but I will say that I adore Lena Headey, David Wenham, and Gerard Butler. They are great actors and seem like people you could just hang out and be friends with.
Okay, that's all from me.

Take care

Happy Valentine's/ National Condom/ Single Awareness Day

Yes people, pick your day. We have Valentine's Day for the romantically-inclined couples among you; Single Awareness Day for the mildly depressed, lonely and longing, or the independent; and of course my pick and personal favorite: National Condom Day (whoo!).
Well, that's all I really have to about (insert your day).
UIUC actually showed that they had some common sense and not only cancelled all of their classes yesterday, but also all of today's classes, which made me quite happy. Of course, one of my room mates/friends still drove to work yesterday and ended up getting stuck on his way back, which was quite annoying because he got stuck unbelievably close to home.
So, my boyfriend, this friend, and I wandered through what could be called snow deserts to try to free his car from the snow and get it home safely, but alas, no such luck. There were about 6 other cars stuck in the same area and we wouldn't have been able to get the car very far anyway. I almost sprained my ankle at least a few dozen times on the way there and back, which almost caused me to just lay on the snow and call it a day, but I'm not the type of person to give up and in. Unfortunately, I thought my body was going to completely shut down on me after we got back last night, I might get a cold (I had quite the cough last night and my voice is still raspy), and my ankles and calves are making me pay for last night. Oh well, this is a small price to pay if it means that I can be of at least some help to the people I hold near and dear to my heart.
The good news is: He managed to get his car back today and it is now parked safely in the carport.
I do regret though that I forgot to take pictures of the mess outside, but there's not much I can do about that now.
Hmm, what else is there to write...
We had quite the relaxing day today. We watched the unrated extended director's cut of "The Grudge" along with a track produced by the guy, who I guess produced the Mystery Science Theater 3000 show. However, that track was recorded for the theater version of "The Grudge", so we ended up getting commentary that didn't make much or any sense at certain spots of the movie. Then we got food and attempted to get the car out of the snow, but in the end, a tow truck had to get the car out.
Anyway, I need to finish up, so I can get my school stuff ready, read another chapter from "Monkey", and relax while watching "The Grudge 2". Didn't I say that I was sick and insane? Who knows if I'll even make it to the movie-watching part...

Talk to everyone later.

Should I be stupid or play it safe?

Okay, for those of you who aren't sitting in this: Throughout pretty much all of Illinois, among other places, we are now under a blizzard warning and even though this doesn't seem to be the main focus, part of this area is also under a tornado warning (check weather.gov). All I can say is: Please don't. Don't hit us with both. I know life isn't fair, but this is plain bullshit (sorry).
Also, the University of Illinois (at Urbana-Champaign) still hasn't cancelled classes, which means that I technically need to go to school in the next 20 minutes. Here's the thing, I live about 30 minutes away from the part of town I need to get to and my car isn't made to drive in this weather. Weather.gov already says "do not travel" and that if you have to travel, you should take a winter survival kit with you. I don't really have that either.
I've already had one professor cancel class, but another stated that we would be having class unless the University cancelled all classes.
Excuse me, have you checked the weather outside?
The thing is, it's not really the snow that's the issue, but the strong winds that keep on blowing the snow around.
Oh well, I'll check and see if I need to go babysit today, and if I do, I might as well attempt to go to the one class I have today, but I don't know... Wow, I think my mind just went blank.
No, you know what? I'm not going to class. If you have courthouses, public libraries, and all of your schools closed, I am not going to my class. The only way I'm going to school today is if they actually come to pick me up and take me back home after that.
I'm insane, but I'm not stupid. This isn't supposed to be an insult to everybody who has to be out on the roads. If anything, I'm highly annoyed at UIUC.
So, while the snow continues to fall and pile up and the winds continue to blow, I will sit here, force myself to eat and drink something, take my meds, do at least some of my homework, read, and watch TV and movies. And who knows, I just might get some cross-stitching and crocheting done.

Since I have begun typing this post, I checked weather.gov again, only to find out that what was listed as a tornado warning was actually the blizzard warning. Stop confusing people, okay weather.gov?!

Well, to end this post, I would like to give you something entertaining to watch. And yes, I am a sick sick person...

This week's score: Bettina: 1...Death: 0

Yes! I have managed to survive yet another week.
Sooo, let's see what I have to report...
Monday went over pretty normal. Tuesday did quite a number on me because I thought I knew where I had put my meds, but I just couldn't find them until after I had managed to make it home relatively safely and slightly shaking. Damn anxiety disorder... All I have to say is: NO MORE SNOW! Note that I am writing this after having checked weather.gov and finding out that there is a forecast for even more snow early next week. Ummm...Wednesday I was 15 minutes late for my Japanese class, which really got to me because I had a chapter quiz that day. Oddly enough, I still managed to be the first to finish the quiz. Nothing much happened yesterday...wait...oh yeah, I nearly killed myself yesterday! On campus, several of the buildings have very smooth steps, which become dangerously slippery with only a few drops of water on them (okay, it takes a bit more than a few drops...). Anyway, I managed to nearly break my neck walking down one of them and almost bust my knee open walking up another set of those stairs. Then I nearly sprained my ankle because I am completely incapable of walking...on grounds covered with unevenly pressed-down snow. Well, as for today, I woke up with a sore arm, which was caused by me sleeping on the tube of my sleep mask. Unfortunately, I also woke up ten minutes later than usual, but oh well... What else... I had my first midterm exam (Japanese) today, which is kind of early in the semester, but since I have two midterm exams for Japanese, I guess it works.
Well, I think that pretty much covers my week. I am also quite happy to be watching "Dirt" again. "Dirt" is a show with Courtney Cox Arquette that deals with the world of gossip and tabloids and well...dirt. It's actually pretty good. It has interesting characters, storylines, and like FX's other series "Nip/Tuck", it manages to push the boundaries of what "regular" television has to offer. In addition to that, it reintroduces us to Paul Reubens, who has a recurring role as the main character's former mentor.
Huh...I think I'm done. For now at least...

Talk to you later,
Bettina

This should explain quite a bit...

Yes, I am being quite lazy with this, but I really liked these quizzes and I'm curious about who would get what result. So, look over these, read my comments on each result, take these quizzes and let me know about your results. Have fun!

You Are Absinthe

You are a sloppy drunk, purposely so If drinking doesn't make you feel crazy, it's not any fun Truth be told, you tend to prefer drugs to drinking But you'd never pass up any absinthe that came your way!

What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

I don't think that I'm a sloppy drunk. I pay way too much attention to my friggin' image to let myself become a sloppy drunk. I might be a clumsy drunk, but so far I've only been drunk once. Usually I just get pretty buzzed. And about the clumsy part: Well, considering that I'm already quite the klutz, alcohol doesn't really make that a whole lot more prominent. As for the drugs...I take medicine and dietary supplements, those are the only drugs I take. Other than that, I am very much against drugs. However, it's true, I don't think that I could ever pass up a glass of absinthe... So, yay! I'm absinthe!

You Are From Pluto

You are a dark, mysterious soul, full of magic and the secrets of the universe. You can get the scoop on anything, but you keep your own secrets locked in your heart. You love change and you use it to your advantage, whether by choice or chance. You don't like to compromise, to the point of being self-destructive with your stubborness. Live life with love, and your deep powers will open the world to you.

What Planet Are You From?

I'm not too surprised with this result. Even though it seems like I'm revealing superpersonal information on this blog, I'm not really. Most of my posts are quite superficial. Yes, I am a dark and mysterious soul. That's nothing new though...

You Should Rule Saturn

Saturn is a mysterious planet that can rarely be seen with the naked eye. You are perfect to rule Saturn because like its rings, you don't always follow the rules of nature. And like Saturn, to really be able to understand you, someone delve beyond your appearance. You are not an easy person to befriend. However, once you enter a friendship, you'll be a friend for life. You think slowly but deeply. You only gain great understanding after a situation has past.

What Planet Should You Rule?

Okay, I have already written this one down in my calendar. I am going to rule Saturn one of these days. The dark and mysterious soul from Pluto is going to move to Saturn. I'll become the dictator, queen, or empress...or something...
It's true, I'm not easy to befriend. I'm painfully shy and I suffer from a slight case of social anxiety...then there's always the fact that I don't really trust...well, anyone (with a few exceptions). I've been stabbed in the back a few times, so I've learned to hide in my shell and stick my claws out whenever I first meet somebody new. This doesn't work all the time, but it works often enough for now. Slow thinking... Umm...duh. That's the way I am, I think slowly but deeply. I do think more quickly than most people might imagine, but I usually have to check my thoughts three or four times before I can do anything. So, considering all of the work that my brain goes through, I can think pretty damn fast.

Anyway, that's that, I guess. I am absinthe...I am actually from Pluto...and I should rule Saturn. Well, I guess I'll work on becoming the ruler of Saturn then. I'm looking forward to it!

Later people,
Bettina

Poll (Part One)

Hey everybody,

As some of you might remember (most or all of you probably won't though), I had been planning on setting up a list of the most attractive people in the world. Well, I ended up with a long list of names, but now I can't put them in any kind of order. To help me do this, so I can at least attempt to introduce various types of beauty to...well, everyone reading this blog, I would like for you to send me a list of the names of people you consider to be the most attractive.
This way, I hope that my list will become even more diverse and interesting.
Male, female, athletes, scientists, authors, actors/actresses, models, French, American, African, Russian, etc. It doesn't matter. Just send me some info or links to websites pertaining to these people and I will be able to (hopefully) bring some order to my list, expand it, and put it up on this blog.
I am not setting up a deadline for this yet because I want to see if anyone will respond to this first.
If you don't know how to get ahold of me, you can either include the list as a comment to this post (I would only suggest this if your list is really really short) or if you are part of the Myspace universe, you can always send me a message that way (check my Links section...it should be listed as "Bettina on Myspace"), or if you know my email address, you can always send it there.
Ummm...I think that's all I needed to say. I hope to hear from at least some of you soon.

Have a good night everyone,
Bettina

Blogging For Choice

You know, I was going to wait until the weekend to type up my next post because I've just been too tired during the week, but then I saw that today is "Blogging for Choice" day...and well, what can I say...I just couldn't resist.

If you're curious how I found out about this, check Cipherpunk's Livejournal (http://cipherpunk.livejournal.com/154795.html) and Trifthen's site(http://bonesmoses.org/view.php?id=186).
(Note: The addresses are set up this way because the "insert link" command didn't work the way it was supposed to, and I need to go to bed, so I'm not going to look into it any further tonight.)

Pro-choice and pro-life...I really don't like either of those terms. So, what could I possibly write about reproductive "issues"? I'm afraid that my parents won't be overly happy about at least a few things I will be writing about in this post, but I can't please everyone. Especially not when I'm writing about such a controversial topic.

First of all, if I have to label myself, I am pro-choice. Why? Well, there are a few reasons, but I guess the main one is that abortion can be traced back all the way to Ancient Egypt (if not even further back than that) and that there will always be women who will go through with abortion... Shut up, I'm not quite done yet. Now, if a woman really wants to go through with an abortion she will do so...in whatever way possible. This can result in more death and infection than necessary. So, I would rather have abortion legalized and regulated, and have the women be healthy and safe. Or at the very least, healthier and safer.
I have already been labeled as a "cold-hearted bitch" by my younger siblings because I am pro-choice, but this is one of the few times when I couldn't care less about what people think about me.
I know that my boyfriend and my dad are both against abortion, but they also belong to the group of people who think that guys should stay out of it because it's the woman who carries the child...and not the man (unless we're actually seahorses and I haven't received the memo for that yet).
My dad is also the kind of guy, who would marry the girl he happens to impregnate. How do I know this? History, people...history. It's happened before. Before my dad met my mom, he impregnated a young woman and, feeling it was the proper or honorable thing to do, he proposed to her and they got married. She gave birth to my older half-sister in 1979 (if I am not mistaken) and everything seemed to be okay. Unfortunately, nothing is ever as it seems...it's not like we live in some pussy version of a Grimm fairy tale...and she ran away, with child and her boyfriend. So, where did she run off to? California, of course, so she could squeeze as much money as possible out of my dad. My dad, in the sometimes sickening goodness of his heart, offered to adopt and take care of this girl...his child, but I guess that the money was far more appealing. Therefore, I know I have an older half-sister and I've seen at least one picture of her, but I've never met her.
Okay, I'm getting kind of off topic here, sorry.
Back to reproductive rights...
Of course, I am not for people running around having unprotected sex with whomever they please, women getting pregnant as a result of this, and then having multiple abortions within any given year. That's beyond stupid and reckless. That's why I think that you should also go to counseling or therapy to determine if an abortion is the right path to take...unless there are life-threatening circumstances involved.
Another issue in the reproductive rights universe is that some men don't want to provide for their future children. Well, being a female (physically at least...it's pretty evenly divided neurologically I think), I would tell that man to go ahead and leave. I don't need someone like that around me and my child. Seriously, I would rather be alone and working my butt off than have someone tell me what to do with my body or have a bitter man let out his anger at an innocent being. In this case, I would demote the "father" to "tool", and proudly claim that I conceived the child all by myself. If you don't believe that I would do such a thing, you obviously don't know me.
The same thing applies if I happen to get pregnant and I want an abortion. If my partner wants to force me to have a child I'm not ready for...out. I know that I'm making this sound far easier than it would be, but some things just have to be done.
As for whose choice this would actually be...first and foremost it should the woman's, but if you're in a relationship, you should have an in-depth conversation with your partner about this.

Last thoughts: Religion and government don't mix. Last time I checked we aren't in a theocracy. If we are, I would like to move...to Saturn...or Pluto. Stop bombing abortion clinics and killing those doctors because that is just plain cowardice. Stop acting like little brats about this and similarly controversial issues. And...stop the whole "abstinence only" BS because that certainly isn't helping to decrease abortion rates, or teenage sex and/or pregnancy for that matter.

That's all.

"I need to find breasts that fit", Spring Semester '07, Hormones, and other such things

Okay, this might get kind of long, so bear with me and comment if you can and want.

The first part of this post pertains to that lovely quote in the post title. That is something I said yesterday. Now, some of you might be wondering "Hmmm...now why would Bettina say something like that?" Well, that's because I didn't mean to say that. What I had ACTUALLY meant to say was "I need to find a bra that fits..."
Unfortunately, that didn't quite work out... The reason why I had attempted to say that was the fact that the underwire of one of my bras had managed to give me a few bruises, which aggravates me slightly. I USED to have a DD cup size, but for the past few months (as in the past 12 months), I have been noticing that my cups are running over, which doesn't look as hot as it might sound. It sure as hell doesn't feel as hot...
So yeah, I need a bigger bra...but I haven't quite figured out which cup size yet. I think it might be an E or some other insane size.

As some as you might have noticed the spring semester has started recently, and after having been sore, confused, and completely exhausted (even with sleep therapy) for all of the school week, I am proud to say that I survived the first week just fine. I have a load of pretty interesting classes this semester: Elementary Japanese 2, Masterpieces of East Asian Literature, Intro to Language Science, and Abnormal Psychology. Some of you might be wondering, why I am not in a higher Japanese course, especially since I have been studying Japanese since I've been 15 years old (I did have several lengthier breaks during the past 6 years though, but I should probably still be further along), but I didn't do as well as I had hoped last semester, so I thought it would be wise to take two steps back. Sometimes you have to step back in order to leap forward, and that is the path I have chosen.
The second course listed should also be interesting because we are going over literature in China, Korea, and Japan. The first book we will be going over is "Monkey" by Wu Ch'eng-en, which some might recognize as the story that inspired the anime series Dragon Ball. So, that should be somewhat fun to read.
As for Intro to Language Science, I am taking that course because I used to want to major in Linguistics, but as the universe should have it, I changed to Japanese and have been sticking to it like a leech ever since. Who knows...I just might minor in Linguistics...(it depends on how masochistic I feel after this semester though)
Last, but not least, Abnormal Psychology should be unbelievably fascinating all by itself, but that's not the only reason I'm taking it. I want to set Psychology up as a second major, but they require me to take several courses at UIUC first.

Now onto to my favorite topic: Hormones
If you guessed sex...fine, you're right...don't worry hormones either end up at the topic of sex or at least pass it. In my case, hormones lead to the topic of sex, so no worries people.
I love hormones, even if mine are slightly off, but sometimes they can be a real pain. Over the years, I have noticed something interesting...there are certain times, when more men (in this case) take notice of you than you would like and women (again in this case) tend to look at you like they want to rip your throat out. Well, it's that time of the month for me again...ovulation. Older men, in this case they are creepy as well, hit on me and I can tell that they are undressing me with their eyes... Younger men look me up and down and/or look kind of confused... As for the women, well, some act just fine towards me, but the others can be unbelievably hostile towards me.
Now, if that were the only issue...I'd still be annoyed about it, I admit it. There's nothing that could take away from that feeling, unless I actually felt that I was attractive enough to warrant such behavior.
However, my sex drive is also so high that I feel like locking myself up in a box and putting myself in the basement, so I'm less of a danger to others and myself. Okay...it's probably not THAT bad, but it's pretty damn close. Right now I am in serious need of testosterone...or sex...or both. So, all I can do is take a few dozen cold showers, press up against all the walls in the house, and toss and turn and toss and turn...and hope that it doesn't get so bad that I start to have guys I would never consider smelling, let alone touching (some of you know who I am talking about), appear in my dreams and fantasies. I'm not too worried though because, so far, that has never happened.

Oh well, that's all the news from my disturbing universe.

Here's a final thing I have to share: Quiz results...yay!

Your Slanguage Profile

British Slang: 25% Canadian Slang: 25% Prison Slang: 25% Aussie Slang: 0% New England Slang: 0% Southern Slang: 0%

What Slanguage Do You Speak?

Please note how I have 25% in each of the first three categories, but 0% in the last three. It's really weird because I've never been to prison and I don't have any direct contact with people who have been/are in prison...but I was born and spent the first nine years of my life in the South and my father is a Texan. I'm happy with it though. It would have been nice to get something in the "Aussie" category, now that I think about it...

Talk to you guys later.

Fun, fun, fun quizzes

You Should Stay in Shape with Swimming

You require something that's both serene and challenging. Swimming is the perfect way for you to do your own thing and escape for a while. Swimming will give you that perfectly toned, curvy body you desire.

How Should You Get In Shape?

I should really look into going swimming...

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

That's pretty much all I have going for me...I don't know.

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Huh, I think we've had this one before. I like Bettie Page.

You Have Many Alpha Tendencies

You're not a total alpha female, but you certainly know how to - and like to - get your way. You're forceful without being intimidating. You're confident without being vain. A perfect mix.

Are You an Alpha Female?

Okay, where do you get your information? Part of it is true. I am not a complete alpha female. Why? Because I try to stay out of the deeper realms of the feminine. I've been there, done that, bought the T-shirt...you all know how the saying goes. It wasn't fun or pretty. I'm proud to say that I've developed into quite the androgynous person.

You Should Wear Black Lipstick

Confident, dramatic, and unexpected. Your look: Gothic beauty Your signature lip gloss flavor: Ginger

What Shade of Lipstick Should You Wear?

Umm...I would never wear black lipstick. That would only look decent on me if I had a darker complexion.

You Are Most Like Adriana Lima

Intriguing and sultry

Which Victoria's Secret Angel Are You?

Yeah...right. If only I was half as hot as her...


Okay, I'm done...again. Take the quizzes, have fun with them, and let me know what you got, okay? This of course also goes for the rest of the quizzes I have taken and posted.

Take care and I'll write about more later on.

Lots of love,
Bettina

Somebody is really mad...

...and for once it's not me. I just read a comment from my mother, even though she wrote it as Anonymous. She is mad at me for stating that life doesn't hold much appeal to me anymore.
Since it is too late to call her, I guess I'll let a few things out on my blog since it's going to have to be let out somewhere...
Let me tell you something, my dear mother, if things went according to you, I would just shut up or lie about my feelings.
Guess what, I'll be damned if I start to lie about my feelings and thoughts again. You know, Mom, be glad that you only suffer from situational depression. At least you know that it will eventually pass. I'm stuck with therapy and medication. Who knows...I might get lucky and the depression will get better with the sleep therapy, Synthroid and Paxil, but for now, I am stuck in this dark hole. I am stuck in a war I didn't ask to be in and so far, I have been on my own. I tried going down the road of shutting up and guess what...I screwed myself over even more.
You want to know why you are paying for my education! Here's why: There is a part of me, hidden away in a safe and dark room in my mind, that believes that things will eventually get better. A part of me does still believe that once I've fought my way through this time in my life, I will feel better.
So, if you could get off it and try to understand what I might be going through (like I have been doing with you), then you wouldn't be getting upset at a sentence in one of my posts. It was one sentence, for crying out loud! You know, if you get mad at me, then I have to get at least twice as mad at myself for getting you mad. I'm sure you have better things to get mad at anyway...
So, now that I have gotten mad as well, I think I'm going to have to stand outside in the cold for a little bit.