Yes everyone, Bettina is depressed. Again. This would be no surprise, if my depression weren't so bad this time that I just wanted to lay down and die. *gasp* Yes, I used the d-word. Before anyone goes into savior mode and calls 911, let me just say that I've been suffering from depression off and on (mostly on) since at least the age of 8. So, do not panic (I'm not worried about most of you, just about the lone Christian mother who might accidentally stumble across this blog, and think that she can actually help someone like me).
At this point in my life, actively trying to end my life is too exhausting anyway. However, I won't be doing anything to stop my death either (sounds weird, but you spend some time living my life and then you can come back and talk to me about how it went for you...who knows, maybe you're able to live my life better than I currently am).
I am currently living in a house filled mostly with people who aren't aware of and don't even care how their actions and feelings affect everyone else. Everyone else gets mad at me when I point out the bull**** that goes on in this house, but then I'm also supposed to be happy all the time. I was raised to speak my mind and be honest, but nobody likes it when that happens. However, people like it even less when I don't say anything or lie. So, here's my solution: Give me a script because I am a great actress. I am great at portraying other people, but I obviously suck at being me.
I can see why people get drunk or drugged up because right now, those two seem to be very viable options, and they're looking better with each passing minute in this hellhole.
My brother's a whiny bitch and drama queen, who's way too damn lucky for his own good. My sister, even though she has matured quite a bit, can't decide whether she wants to be nice or bitchy, and she was like this before she managed to get knocked up. My sister's boyfriend is also a bitch, who thinks this is his house, wastes my sister's gas and money, is disrespectful (particularly towards women), and thinks he can get in a pissing contest with me just because we're the same age. As for my dad, oh my dear sweet dad...it seemed that he was finally able to mellow out, until recently that is. He very recently fell back on a very bad habit by threatening to move back to Texas. Why? Supposedly because he hates this house (I'm guessing it's more that he hates the people in this house, but he would NEVER admit to that) and because he was angry about how the house is or is not cleaned up. For once though, I wasn't there when this happened (I was in Chinese class at the time), which is weird because if you ask the majority of the people in this house, I am at fault for everyone's problems. Here's the issue: As much as my dad thinks he cleans up, he does more complaining about it.
Since at least three people have threatened to move out, here's what I have to say: Move the hell out! Stop talking about it and do it. If you supposedly earn so much money that you can afford to threaten people with moving out then you do it. This applies particularly to my siblings. Now, as for my dad, you're not a damn kid. You're a father of four (even though you only had to raise three), you're married, so you can't afford to just get up and leave, and even less to talk about such things.
As for me, I would love to move out since that seems to be my only chance at what is considered to be happiness. Personally, I wouldn't know what happiness is, even if it slapped me across the face. However, I'm incapable of finding and landing a job, which means I'm not making any money, so I can't afford to move. Heck, I can't even threaten people with a move. So, if anyone has a legitimate job for me, please let me know. If you have any other solutions, please let me know.
The only person who isn't currently driving me insane is my mother. She has always been the patient and understanding one, and now she is also at her breaking point, which is kinda sad because it took her a lot longer to get there than it took me. I feel bad for her because she has to suffer through all of this. I'm sure that if she knew 100% that she could get another decent job (or a job period) in Germany, she would just move back there. I'm sure my Oma would enjoy getting to see my mother on a regular basis again.
In many ways, moving back to the USA is the worst decision we, as a family, have ever made (aside from the fact that my parents had three children because I think that that was the beginning of the end for them). I don't completely regret it because of all the wonderful people I was able to meet and befriend, none of whom I ever get to see anymore (no thanks to overwhelming stress and depression and a complete lack of money). However, I also had friends in Germany when I left. People I still miss, but since, in addition to the reasons why I don't see any of my American friends anymore, my German friends have more friends who they are much closer to elsewhere, I highly doubt that my absence was and still is much of loss to them. Thinking about this, I do believe that this also applies to my American friends though... It just seems to be easier to stay physically present in the lives of, well, at least some of my American friends. In addition to that, I could have gotten my degree for a lot less money in Germany than here, and I believe it would have been easier as well, especially considering that I lived and could have studied in Heidelberg, which is known for its medicine and language studies. I would have also been skinnier and healthier. Healthcare would have cost less. I could have had more of a social life and been more independent. I probably could have also had a job by now (who knows with that one though...).
Anyway, enough with the rambling and venting. All that is left to say is that I'm done playing nice, I've been done being way too damn patient for quite some time now, and that with the way my life is going, death will ultimately be an improvement to my life and welcome reprieve to me in general, so the sooner it shows up, the better.
And if you didn't like this post, just remember that nobody forced you to read this.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Lessons in Friendship (Part One)
As some of you might have guessed, this entry is about friendship. Hence the title. Anyway, the two main players of this episode are my oh-so-illustrious brother, and one of his "friends."
Here's the situation: This particular "friend" lives in Watertown. I'm not sure where it is located in the QCA, nor do I really care, but supposedly this guy bought a $350 bicycle, and decided to loan it to my brother. Now, the bike has been stolen, and this "friend" is threatening my brother and wants his money back.
First off, this guy is a complete moron for spending $350 on a bicycle that only looks like it's worth maybe $100 (I was told that he spray-painted it and that it is supposedly a "rare" bike), especially since he lives in a part of the QCA like Watertown (he does have a lock on his garage...like that's ever stopped anyone before). Secondly, if he really did spend $350 on a damn bike, which I still find hard to believe, he shouldn't have been so incredibly stupid and lent it to my brother. I wouldn't have lent such an expensive bike to my brother.
This incident gets me thinking that today's youth has no clue what actual friendship is. You should be able to trust your friends. You shouldn't abuse the title of "friend."
Have I lost things my friends have given me? Yes, but I've also told them that I lost them, and I still feel bad about those times (not as bad as I did in those exact moments though).
You should be able to eventually work through these issues with your friends, not threaten to beat them up and risk going to jail over them.
However, I'm also not surprised that this happened to my brother. My siblings have this knack for becoming friends with people who aren't really friends. Like with so many other people, their fear of being alone wins out over the instinct to protect themselves from abusive and shady people. I'm the opposite in that area. I'm so used to being a loner, and I've been stabbed in the back so many times, that I would much rather be alone than be a victim to other people. This doesn't mean that I never take risks, I'm just very cautious. I will say though that my sister has gotten a bit better at distancing herself from some of her "friends," so that is somewhat of a silver lining.
Some of you might be wondering why I am writing this stuff down. Well, my siblings don't necessarily get these lessons through their thick skulls, so instead of yelling at them, this is my way of venting. I am also hoping that maybe, by some stroke of randomness, someone will read this and take stock of his/her own life and be able to learn something from this (hopefully before it is too late). No, I don't think that I am better than you people. In fact, I am one of the first people to say that I'm not.
Just remember: Not all friends are bad friends, but not everyone who claims to be a friend is really a friend. Be aware of this without shutting yourself off from the world completely, and you should do just fine.
Lots of love,
Bettina
Here's the situation: This particular "friend" lives in Watertown. I'm not sure where it is located in the QCA, nor do I really care, but supposedly this guy bought a $350 bicycle, and decided to loan it to my brother. Now, the bike has been stolen, and this "friend" is threatening my brother and wants his money back.
First off, this guy is a complete moron for spending $350 on a bicycle that only looks like it's worth maybe $100 (I was told that he spray-painted it and that it is supposedly a "rare" bike), especially since he lives in a part of the QCA like Watertown (he does have a lock on his garage...like that's ever stopped anyone before). Secondly, if he really did spend $350 on a damn bike, which I still find hard to believe, he shouldn't have been so incredibly stupid and lent it to my brother. I wouldn't have lent such an expensive bike to my brother.
This incident gets me thinking that today's youth has no clue what actual friendship is. You should be able to trust your friends. You shouldn't abuse the title of "friend."
Have I lost things my friends have given me? Yes, but I've also told them that I lost them, and I still feel bad about those times (not as bad as I did in those exact moments though).
You should be able to eventually work through these issues with your friends, not threaten to beat them up and risk going to jail over them.
However, I'm also not surprised that this happened to my brother. My siblings have this knack for becoming friends with people who aren't really friends. Like with so many other people, their fear of being alone wins out over the instinct to protect themselves from abusive and shady people. I'm the opposite in that area. I'm so used to being a loner, and I've been stabbed in the back so many times, that I would much rather be alone than be a victim to other people. This doesn't mean that I never take risks, I'm just very cautious. I will say though that my sister has gotten a bit better at distancing herself from some of her "friends," so that is somewhat of a silver lining.
Some of you might be wondering why I am writing this stuff down. Well, my siblings don't necessarily get these lessons through their thick skulls, so instead of yelling at them, this is my way of venting. I am also hoping that maybe, by some stroke of randomness, someone will read this and take stock of his/her own life and be able to learn something from this (hopefully before it is too late). No, I don't think that I am better than you people. In fact, I am one of the first people to say that I'm not.
Just remember: Not all friends are bad friends, but not everyone who claims to be a friend is really a friend. Be aware of this without shutting yourself off from the world completely, and you should do just fine.
Lots of love,
Bettina
Saturday, December 12, 2009
It's about time...
...that I write another post.
It's been over a year since my last post, so I am quite embarrassed and ashamed. I still haven't gotten around to typing up the posts I said I was going to type, but they also haven't been forgotten. Hopefully, they will be up on this blog before I die. Hopefully.
So, what's new in my life? I am a college graduate, without a job, without a social life, and without a significant other. Well, at least I've finally managed to graduate from college.
As much as I would like to type a longer post, considering that it is shortly after two in the morning, I might wind up mentioning stuff that I would not necessarily want to reveal at this time and in a less than clear state of mind. I usually prefer to be in a more sober state of mind to do some storytelling.
Well, I hope all is well with everyone.
Take care (as always)!
It's been over a year since my last post, so I am quite embarrassed and ashamed. I still haven't gotten around to typing up the posts I said I was going to type, but they also haven't been forgotten. Hopefully, they will be up on this blog before I die. Hopefully.
So, what's new in my life? I am a college graduate, without a job, without a social life, and without a significant other. Well, at least I've finally managed to graduate from college.
As much as I would like to type a longer post, considering that it is shortly after two in the morning, I might wind up mentioning stuff that I would not necessarily want to reveal at this time and in a less than clear state of mind. I usually prefer to be in a more sober state of mind to do some storytelling.
Well, I hope all is well with everyone.
Take care (as always)!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Something's been on my mind lately...
...and I guess I just want to kick this out in the open.
I'm kinda irked by people asking me why I take so much damn medication. The main reason this gets to me is because the question implies that I have a choice in the matter. Granted, I could always say "Screw it" and just stop taking medication, but then my body would probably kill me faster than it already is.
So, here is what I am taking and why:
1) Synthroid - My thyroid glands aren't working as quickly as they should be, and considering that pretty much all of the human body depends on these glands, I need to be on this for the rest of life. Unfortunately, my doctor doesn't want to get sued, so I am only given enough for my body to function on a minimally "normal" level.
2) Paxil - Ah yes, without this medication, I would be suffering from a nervous breakdown at least once a week. Paxil allows me to live a somewhat "normal" life without feeling the need to be overly self-destructive and, dare I say it, suicidal.
3) Yaz - Honestly, I'm not completely sure being on this medication is worth it. The pros are that I am not completely fatigued and in labor-worthy levels of pain during my period. The cons are that the pain actually gets spread out, so it doesn't really go away, and that I still get ovarian cysts (which also hurts). Other than that, I don't have sex anyways...so I constantly forget why I'm taking Yaz.
4) Ibuprofen - I can live with a tremendous amount of pain. In fact, I find pain to be quite motivating most of the time. However, when you feel like sticking a knife in the side of your face because the pain in your jaw joint and ear area is so damn great, which I've been told supposedly isn't an option, then you need to do something else about it. So, I take ibuprofen. Usually, I need about 600 mg to ease the pain, but sometimes I do need to take more.
5) Acetaminophen - I only take this for headaches, which have been cropping up a lot lately... For my average headache, I need about 1 g of acetaminophen, which I think is bordering on excessive, considering that the labels suggest taking only 400 mg. And let's not even talk about how much I had to take last night to make the pain go away (1.6 g).
As for other meds, I occasionally take Benadryl for the random allergic episodes I go through.
It may seem like a lot to some people, but I have my reasons for taking all of them (including Yaz). If everything went according to me, I would not be taking anything. I can't stand taking medication...and I have my reasons for that attitude as well, which I will not be getting into in this post.
I'm sorry if I have made anyone upset or uncomfortable writing about medications, but it's just been on my mind quite a bit for the past few days.
Anyway, I'm still catching up on a few things, so it might be a while until my next post. Something I am still working on is a smoking hot review of Rabbit Rue, which I promise will be posted before the end of the year. I know I'm really reaching for the stars with that deadline...
As always, ki o tsukete ne,
Bettina
I'm kinda irked by people asking me why I take so much damn medication. The main reason this gets to me is because the question implies that I have a choice in the matter. Granted, I could always say "Screw it" and just stop taking medication, but then my body would probably kill me faster than it already is.
So, here is what I am taking and why:
1) Synthroid - My thyroid glands aren't working as quickly as they should be, and considering that pretty much all of the human body depends on these glands, I need to be on this for the rest of life. Unfortunately, my doctor doesn't want to get sued, so I am only given enough for my body to function on a minimally "normal" level.
2) Paxil - Ah yes, without this medication, I would be suffering from a nervous breakdown at least once a week. Paxil allows me to live a somewhat "normal" life without feeling the need to be overly self-destructive and, dare I say it, suicidal.
3) Yaz - Honestly, I'm not completely sure being on this medication is worth it. The pros are that I am not completely fatigued and in labor-worthy levels of pain during my period. The cons are that the pain actually gets spread out, so it doesn't really go away, and that I still get ovarian cysts (which also hurts). Other than that, I don't have sex anyways...so I constantly forget why I'm taking Yaz.
4) Ibuprofen - I can live with a tremendous amount of pain. In fact, I find pain to be quite motivating most of the time. However, when you feel like sticking a knife in the side of your face because the pain in your jaw joint and ear area is so damn great, which I've been told supposedly isn't an option, then you need to do something else about it. So, I take ibuprofen. Usually, I need about 600 mg to ease the pain, but sometimes I do need to take more.
5) Acetaminophen - I only take this for headaches, which have been cropping up a lot lately... For my average headache, I need about 1 g of acetaminophen, which I think is bordering on excessive, considering that the labels suggest taking only 400 mg. And let's not even talk about how much I had to take last night to make the pain go away (1.6 g).
As for other meds, I occasionally take Benadryl for the random allergic episodes I go through.
It may seem like a lot to some people, but I have my reasons for taking all of them (including Yaz). If everything went according to me, I would not be taking anything. I can't stand taking medication...and I have my reasons for that attitude as well, which I will not be getting into in this post.
I'm sorry if I have made anyone upset or uncomfortable writing about medications, but it's just been on my mind quite a bit for the past few days.
Anyway, I'm still catching up on a few things, so it might be a while until my next post. Something I am still working on is a smoking hot review of Rabbit Rue, which I promise will be posted before the end of the year. I know I'm really reaching for the stars with that deadline...
As always, ki o tsukete ne,
Bettina
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Not much to say
At least for now, I won't be writing about much.
All I'm going to do is post a few music videos. Why? Well, I can't seem to get these songs out of my head, so I thought I'd share some of the fun. Honestly, at first I didn't want to like these songs, but I like more beat-driven music, and these songs are (I'll tell you in a later post why I initially didn't want to like them). Anyway, I'm sure that at least some of you will appreciate watching the women in these videos.
So, enjoy!
1) Girlicious - Like Me
2) Girlicious - Stupid Shit
All I'm going to do is post a few music videos. Why? Well, I can't seem to get these songs out of my head, so I thought I'd share some of the fun. Honestly, at first I didn't want to like these songs, but I like more beat-driven music, and these songs are (I'll tell you in a later post why I initially didn't want to like them). Anyway, I'm sure that at least some of you will appreciate watching the women in these videos.
So, enjoy!
1) Girlicious - Like Me
2) Girlicious - Stupid Shit
Saturday, March 08, 2008
It's been too long
Well, the last time I typed a post was shortly after the end of the fall semester and right before I fell into another massive black hole, provided by the depression of none other than Yours Truly. Thank you, I'm simply talented like that.
Sorry, Shaun baby, I still haven't typed up a review of Rabbit Rue, but I promise I will, and yes, it will still be posted this year.
I am just now starting to slowly come out of this depressive episode, so stay with me people.
What else is going on? I am currently on academic probation, which is mostly due to the fact that, after so many years of being depressed and being proud that hardly anyone knew because it hadn't effected my academic life, everything just went horribly wrong. I missed lots of classes, most professors have an attendance policy, exams are based largely on lectures, and therefore, I didn't get too many good grades.
Anyway, I'm working on tying up those loose ends now, which doesn't really help with the depression and anxiety, but it has to be done.
There are other things that need to be talked about, but I don't have enough energy to formulate those properly.
I just wanted everyone to know that I am still around, kinda.
Until next time...Curate!
Sorry, Shaun baby, I still haven't typed up a review of Rabbit Rue, but I promise I will, and yes, it will still be posted this year.
I am just now starting to slowly come out of this depressive episode, so stay with me people.
What else is going on? I am currently on academic probation, which is mostly due to the fact that, after so many years of being depressed and being proud that hardly anyone knew because it hadn't effected my academic life, everything just went horribly wrong. I missed lots of classes, most professors have an attendance policy, exams are based largely on lectures, and therefore, I didn't get too many good grades.
Anyway, I'm working on tying up those loose ends now, which doesn't really help with the depression and anxiety, but it has to be done.
There are other things that need to be talked about, but I don't have enough energy to formulate those properly.
I just wanted everyone to know that I am still around, kinda.
Until next time...Curate!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
No more school!
Yes, I have finally made it through the semester people. I've had more lows than ups, but I can always write about that at some other time. Nobody wants to read about my bitching. It really is no wonder that most people seem to think I'm emo... And yes, I actually did write the poem from my last post myself. See? I can write. I just usually think I suck at writing. Also, I didn't want Trifthen to think that I was copying him...
Why do I call him Trifthen on here anyway? I mean, he has posted comments before using his actual first name. Does it really matter? Sorry...I didn't mean to babble that much.
Well...since I've mentioned Trifthen...how many of you have read Rabbit Rue? I hope all of you have. I'm not going to type up a review on it quite yet. I'm going to save that for a time when I'm a little less tired here.
Right now, I'm just glad that I have some time to breath.
Anyway, here is another music video for everyone. I love the song, so hopefully, some of you will like it too. I don't know how good the sound quality is. I wasn't completely satisfied with it, but then again 1) I don't know if this is just my computer and 2) I like my music on the loud side.
Ja mata ne!!!
Why do I call him Trifthen on here anyway? I mean, he has posted comments before using his actual first name. Does it really matter? Sorry...I didn't mean to babble that much.
Well...since I've mentioned Trifthen...how many of you have read Rabbit Rue? I hope all of you have. I'm not going to type up a review on it quite yet. I'm going to save that for a time when I'm a little less tired here.
Right now, I'm just glad that I have some time to breath.
Anyway, here is another music video for everyone. I love the song, so hopefully, some of you will like it too. I don't know how good the sound quality is. I wasn't completely satisfied with it, but then again 1) I don't know if this is just my computer and 2) I like my music on the loud side.
Ja mata ne!!!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Return to the surface
Light at the end of the tunnel
Emerging from this dark hole
Body sore and exhausted from the strain
Trouble breathing
And yet moving forward
No time to relax
The flames of passion burning more intensely than ever before
Ready to live
Ready to fight
Ready to survive
Anger, determination, love, compassion, sorrow
All flowing into one
Life and willpower returning
Unsure about the future
Will the darkness return?
No choice
Need to live
Need to fight
Need to survive
Can't stop this fire from burning
Taking slow, but steady steps
Pushing through the crowds
Never willing to give up
Never one to be messed with
Prepared to knock all the traitors back
Should the darkness still catch up
I will fight
and thrive
and even survive
Live to see a new day
And refuse to accept anything less
Emerging from this dark hole
Body sore and exhausted from the strain
Trouble breathing
And yet moving forward
No time to relax
The flames of passion burning more intensely than ever before
Ready to live
Ready to fight
Ready to survive
Anger, determination, love, compassion, sorrow
All flowing into one
Life and willpower returning
Unsure about the future
Will the darkness return?
No choice
Need to live
Need to fight
Need to survive
Can't stop this fire from burning
Taking slow, but steady steps
Pushing through the crowds
Never willing to give up
Never one to be messed with
Prepared to knock all the traitors back
Should the darkness still catch up
I will fight
and thrive
and even survive
Live to see a new day
And refuse to accept anything less
Friday, July 06, 2007
What's Your Sign?
Those who know me a bit better, know that I love astrology. It's not that I blindly trust and believe what I read, but it's entertaining and astrology can be pretty accurate.
Most people know about the basic zodiac (Aries-Pisces). Quite a few know about the Chinese zodiac, which isn't set up on a monthly, but on a yearly, basis. Of course, there are other types of zodiac systems, one of them being the Egyptian zodiac. Unfortunately, I haven't found much information on Egyptian astrology (I might just be looking in all the wrong places). However, I recently found a sight that seems to work fine...for now.
If you're interested in Egyptian astrology set up in the format of, I guess, the basic western zodiac, then go to Tour Egypt's "Pharaoh's Signs of the Zodiac" section. However, unlike the basic zodiac, which starts with Aries (around the last week of March), this is listed as starting with Thoth (at the end of August). I'm not a big fan of the way it is set up, but it's still interesting to look through.
According to this, I was born in the sign of the Phoenix. My strengths are supposedly being optimistic (yeah right), flexible (it depends), and promoting optimism in others (okay, I actually do like to do this).
My weaknesses are being solitary (I'm sorry, I don't think that this is a legitimate weakness), stubborn (okay, if you're too stubborn or constantly being stubborn, I can see this as a weakness), dreamy (okay, too much daydreaming can be bad...), and unrealistic (I don't know...I'm actually more realistic than some people might think about me...). Then this site also has potential jobs listed. Mine are risky jobs, self-employment, and most probably great engineers. Umm, I'm not one for anything dealing with high risk, and I'm not really interested in engineering. So, that leaves me with self-employment... I do like being my own boss, but self-employment can be quite risky depending on the actual work.
Well, that was fun. Now on to the next website.
Someone set up this website that lists each of the Egyptian signs closer to what they are actually meant to be. However, there are a number of typos and parts of the text don't make much sense, which could be the result of a direct translation...or a poor translation.
This is why I am going to include a third website. soFeminine.co.uk might be geared more towards women, but looking at my sign at least, I don't see anything that would be exclusive to women. So, it should be mostly the same for men as well.
Once you've selected the day and month on which you were born, you will directed to your Egyptian sign. Here I am listed as having been born under the sign of Anubis, which I've read more often than not (Tour Egypt is actually the only place where I've read anything different). As with all signs, you get a brief history lesson, and then a paragraph on the character associated with the god or figure (most or all of the signs are based on the Egyptian gods, I think).
Being born under the sign of Anubis (God of the dead and afterlife), I am a bit of a paradox, like to be alone, in the shade, and anonymous. I am idealist, highly sensitive, honest, and loyal. I have a fatalistic side. I am drawn to the fields of human resources, medicine and teaching. Old wounds never really heal...the slightest upset can make me indecisive...I am very careful when choosing a partner...and so on.
So far, soFeminine.co.uk is the best site I've found for Egyptian astrology, but I'm still looking. Hopefully, I'll find a book or website or something that is more extensive in this area.
Have fun looking up your Egyptian sign and I'll talk to everyone later.
Take care!
Most people know about the basic zodiac (Aries-Pisces). Quite a few know about the Chinese zodiac, which isn't set up on a monthly, but on a yearly, basis. Of course, there are other types of zodiac systems, one of them being the Egyptian zodiac. Unfortunately, I haven't found much information on Egyptian astrology (I might just be looking in all the wrong places). However, I recently found a sight that seems to work fine...for now.
If you're interested in Egyptian astrology set up in the format of, I guess, the basic western zodiac, then go to Tour Egypt's "Pharaoh's Signs of the Zodiac" section. However, unlike the basic zodiac, which starts with Aries (around the last week of March), this is listed as starting with Thoth (at the end of August). I'm not a big fan of the way it is set up, but it's still interesting to look through.
According to this, I was born in the sign of the Phoenix. My strengths are supposedly being optimistic (yeah right), flexible (it depends), and promoting optimism in others (okay, I actually do like to do this).
My weaknesses are being solitary (I'm sorry, I don't think that this is a legitimate weakness), stubborn (okay, if you're too stubborn or constantly being stubborn, I can see this as a weakness), dreamy (okay, too much daydreaming can be bad...), and unrealistic (I don't know...I'm actually more realistic than some people might think about me...). Then this site also has potential jobs listed. Mine are risky jobs, self-employment, and most probably great engineers. Umm, I'm not one for anything dealing with high risk, and I'm not really interested in engineering. So, that leaves me with self-employment... I do like being my own boss, but self-employment can be quite risky depending on the actual work.
Well, that was fun. Now on to the next website.
Someone set up this website that lists each of the Egyptian signs closer to what they are actually meant to be. However, there are a number of typos and parts of the text don't make much sense, which could be the result of a direct translation...or a poor translation.
This is why I am going to include a third website. soFeminine.co.uk might be geared more towards women, but looking at my sign at least, I don't see anything that would be exclusive to women. So, it should be mostly the same for men as well.
Once you've selected the day and month on which you were born, you will directed to your Egyptian sign. Here I am listed as having been born under the sign of Anubis, which I've read more often than not (Tour Egypt is actually the only place where I've read anything different). As with all signs, you get a brief history lesson, and then a paragraph on the character associated with the god or figure (most or all of the signs are based on the Egyptian gods, I think).
Being born under the sign of Anubis (God of the dead and afterlife), I am a bit of a paradox, like to be alone, in the shade, and anonymous. I am idealist, highly sensitive, honest, and loyal. I have a fatalistic side. I am drawn to the fields of human resources, medicine and teaching. Old wounds never really heal...the slightest upset can make me indecisive...I am very careful when choosing a partner...and so on.
So far, soFeminine.co.uk is the best site I've found for Egyptian astrology, but I'm still looking. Hopefully, I'll find a book or website or something that is more extensive in this area.
Have fun looking up your Egyptian sign and I'll talk to everyone later.
Take care!
The things I find...
Well, I've found something new to entertain myself with. This time it's the Danish music group Infernal. So yeah, I've been dancing to and singing their songs now.
As much as I would like to type up more, my mind has been dreadfully blank all of today. So, sorry about that people.
Anyway, I need to take Benadryl, so I will leave you some videos to watch and hopefully enjoy.
Take care mina san!
As much as I would like to type up more, my mind has been dreadfully blank all of today. So, sorry about that people.
Anyway, I need to take Benadryl, so I will leave you some videos to watch and hopefully enjoy.
Take care mina san!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Decisions
Yes, I am still having odd dreams. Recently, I had a dream about me feeling faint and wanting to buy food, but I ended up giving so much money to others on the way, I didn't have enough money to buy food for myself. Hmm...omoshiroi da ne...
Okay, I will agree with Shaun...Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd would be hilarious...visually at least. However, since I'm not just a visual person, I think it would be funnier listening to Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig...
Now, enough with talk about rape...for now. This post is not about rape. Or sex. Or anything like that.
This post is about trends I've been noticing. 2007 is the year of people getting engaged/married and people writing books. I know of three couples who are getting married this year (well, one of these couples is already legally married) and, from what I've read, of at least two people who are writing books. Of course, those two people are excluded from the people I know who will be participating in NaNoWriMo this November.
Since I am feeling kind of left out from all the fun and I am in the mood to step onto the beaten path, for once, I figure I should do at least one of the two: Get engaged or write a book (or at least start writing a book). Chances of me getting engaged this year are nil, and to be completely honest, I am more interested in writing a book anyway. Sooo, I think I'm going to do some major brainstorming while I still have the energy and time, and then slowly but surely get started on my first book. Who knows...I just might write a book on getting married... I'm kidding.
Of course, there's always a chance that I won't be doing anything special this year...other than crocheting massive afghans...
Okay, that's all from me. I'm off to crochet some more, maybe send some of my dear friends messages, do some more reading, watch DVDs, and run some errands.
I also just wanted to apologize to everyone I've been neglecting. My mind isn't in the best place right now (well, it hasn't been for the past 13 years, truth be told)...actually, it would be more accurate to say that not even I'm sure where my mind is...
Anyway, I will do my best to keep in touch with everyone more.
Take care mina san!
Okay, I will agree with Shaun...Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd would be hilarious...visually at least. However, since I'm not just a visual person, I think it would be funnier listening to Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig...
Now, enough with talk about rape...for now. This post is not about rape. Or sex. Or anything like that.
This post is about trends I've been noticing. 2007 is the year of people getting engaged/married and people writing books. I know of three couples who are getting married this year (well, one of these couples is already legally married) and, from what I've read, of at least two people who are writing books. Of course, those two people are excluded from the people I know who will be participating in NaNoWriMo this November.
Since I am feeling kind of left out from all the fun and I am in the mood to step onto the beaten path, for once, I figure I should do at least one of the two: Get engaged or write a book (or at least start writing a book). Chances of me getting engaged this year are nil, and to be completely honest, I am more interested in writing a book anyway. Sooo, I think I'm going to do some major brainstorming while I still have the energy and time, and then slowly but surely get started on my first book. Who knows...I just might write a book on getting married... I'm kidding.
Of course, there's always a chance that I won't be doing anything special this year...other than crocheting massive afghans...
Okay, that's all from me. I'm off to crochet some more, maybe send some of my dear friends messages, do some more reading, watch DVDs, and run some errands.
I also just wanted to apologize to everyone I've been neglecting. My mind isn't in the best place right now (well, it hasn't been for the past 13 years, truth be told)...actually, it would be more accurate to say that not even I'm sure where my mind is...
Anyway, I will do my best to keep in touch with everyone more.
Take care mina san!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Weird...
Yesterday's sleep was filled with dreams of me driving through stop signs and traffic lights, traveling around Europe, going to a Swiss prison that locked its guards inside past a certain time,...and women raping men. I mean, rape isn't a funny topic, regardless of who is raping who, but somehow it looked somewhat amusing in my dream. The screws in this prison were also chocolate truffles...huh???
Okay, this sequence of dreams has been the most light-hearted I've ever encountered. It was also filled with the most random images... I expect dreams to be highly random...but, uhh, not this random!!!
Something else: When I woke up this morning, it felt like someone had thrown a piano on me. My left wrist was in pain...my eyes were completely sore (and I don't mean the regular "Oh gosh, I just woke up, and the light is hurting my eyes"-soreness)...my right shoulder hurt...everything hurt.
However, I think the thing that confuses me most is...why do I feel like I spent all night kissing women? Hmmmm...
Aaahhh...who knows... I need to get to bed. Maybe my dreams will be less random this time around...and maybe I won't wake up feeling like I just spent eight hours making out with people. Wait...I actually wouldn't mind that too much... *hehe*
Oyasumi nasai minasan!
Okay, this sequence of dreams has been the most light-hearted I've ever encountered. It was also filled with the most random images... I expect dreams to be highly random...but, uhh, not this random!!!
Something else: When I woke up this morning, it felt like someone had thrown a piano on me. My left wrist was in pain...my eyes were completely sore (and I don't mean the regular "Oh gosh, I just woke up, and the light is hurting my eyes"-soreness)...my right shoulder hurt...everything hurt.
However, I think the thing that confuses me most is...why do I feel like I spent all night kissing women? Hmmmm...
Aaahhh...who knows... I need to get to bed. Maybe my dreams will be less random this time around...and maybe I won't wake up feeling like I just spent eight hours making out with people. Wait...I actually wouldn't mind that too much... *hehe*
Oyasumi nasai minasan!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Well, what a surprise...
Since we all know by now how much I love quizzes, and I just saw this on Trifthen's website...well, need I say more?
Your Score: Temperance
You scored 52 change, 27 wellbeing, 80 wisdom, and 51 truth
The angel in the picture above is perfectly balancing and combining the two qualities of male and female, or positive and negative. The angel stands with one foot on the earth and one within the water at foot. This is also a perfect balance of the conscious and the subconscious mind. The red wings are symbolic of the fiery desires of the spirit to learn on a higher level of consciousness and the mountains in the background represent wisdom. The triangle is the higher knowledge that is acquired through introspection as the will to learn and understand can cause within us great doubt, but by following truth, we can select a path that leads us to the wisdom we so desire.
some extra words:
being temperate
finding the middle ground
showing moderation
avoiding excess
mitigating a harsh position
looking for the golden mean
reaching a compromise
offsetting an extreme
maintaining balance
experiencing harmony
achieving equilibrium
bringing together opposites
recognizing all sides
fostering cooperation
feeling centered and secure
experiencing health
renewing energy and vigor
healing
enjoying well-being
recovering
flourishing
combining forces
gathering together what is needed
joining with others
consolidating
finding the right mix
creating synthesis
getting it all together
| Link: The What tarot card resembles you Test written by KamikazeParrot on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Saturday, June 09, 2007
News
Well, since the world seems to going down the drain essentially at the speed of light, I thought I'd report a bit on some of the articles I've read about. All of these are courtesy of GMX, which is where I go to to access my main email account.
1) Paris Hilton has been sent back to jail. For those of you who have better things to do with your lives, here is a summary of the backstory to this article: After having been caught driving under the influence several times, having her license suspended, and then being caught driving under the influence without her license, a judge finally decided to send Paris Hilton to prison for 45 days. I thought that this was slightly less than fair, but it was something. Anyway, Paris Hilton left to start her sentence early...right after attending this year's MTV Movie Awards. Okay, at least she was being a good girl about it. Everything was going well, the prison guards were reporting that she was courteous and polite (of course, she was), and then...on the third day of her sentence, she was released from prison...due to medical reasons (supposedly a nervous breakdown).
Now onto the actual article: Judge Sauer (which I, as part-German, think is a hilarious and fitting name for a judge) decided after a day of "freedom" for Paris Hilton (she was to remain in her villa for the remainder of her sentence) that she would be returning to prison. Paris Hilton's reaction to this: crying and calling out to her mother.
There were reports of Paris Hilton complaining that she was cold and hungry in her prison cell. Well, you do have to think about the other people sitting in prison. I mean, you have people with diabetes, AIDS, and other illnesses or psychological disorders that make prison life a literal hell. I think that being hungry and cold would be the least of my problems... Then, you have people like Al Sharpton crying about racial discrimination. I don't know how true that is, but I am more likely to believe that it was discrimination based on wealth and social status. (Contrary to popular belief, wealth doesn't necessarily guarantee a higher social standing and vice versa.) There were also enraged district attorneys, who mentioned that we couldn't just simply set up a multi-layered prison system based on someone's wealth and/or social status. Surprisingly enough, the police are on Paris Hilton's side. Sheriff Baca mentioned that Paris Hilton has some serious problems that were getting worse in prison. (Umm, yeah, of course she has some serious problems. This was new? And of course they were getting worse in prison. Don't the problems of pretty much everyone else get worse in prison?) Another statement was that Paris Hilton had already spent the "average" time in prison for her "traffic sins" (Verkehrssuenden) and that other "traffic sinners" usually only have to sit out a tenth of their sentence. (And this is reason enough to let her go early?)
I hate to say this, but Paris Hilton needs to learn a lesson and get her head out of her butt. She's in her mid-twenties already, for crying out loud. She behaves the way she does and is then surprised that people want to see her dead. I don't think that she should die, but she should at least squirm and suffer a little. If she were to die from one anxiety attack...then she obviously hasn't suffered from enough of them. Honestly, she doesn't seem to care about the people around her. I mean, she was caught quite a few times driving under the influence, even though she could have easily called for a taxi or a limo to pick her up and drive her home. How many lives did she risk each of those times? Has she ever thought about that one?
So, here is my personal message to Paris Hilton (not that she'll receive it, but it will make me feel better): Grow up, baby girl!!! I'm only 21 and I have more common sense and compassion in my right little finger than you have and could ever have in your whole body! You're an arrogant, spoiled, two-faced baby, who hasn't been told to shut up enough in her life. Do yourself a favor: travel around the world incognito (if that is at all possible), go to developing countries, rely on yourself and the kindness of others...and not on your and/or the Hilton money, abstain from parties and alcohol and the social scene in general, and then maybe you will be ready to show yourself in public again.
2) Prince Harry is thinking about leaving the military. Why this? Because in addition to not letting him go to Iraq, he also isn't allowed to serve in Afghanistan. Why this? Because not only have so many soldiers died already, not only is it a highly dangerous area for the average soldier to be in, but it is especially dangerous for a member of one of the most widely-recognized royal families to be in.
According to several reports, Prince Harry is fully aware of this, but being denied both assignments kind of signaled an early death to his young military career (in addition to these denials being a blow to his blue-blooded ego). So, he is now supposedly thinking about "retiring" early from the military. Instead he wants to concentrate on humanitarian work, such as the organization Sentabale in the South African kingdom Lesotho, which helps AIDS-orphans and was established by Prince Harry as a memorial to his mother.
My thoughts: Go for the humanitarian work. Your mother will be proud of you and you'll most likely help more people with that than if you were to stay in the military and drive yourself crazy for lack of assignments. I also doubt that anyone will think less of you, should you choose to leave the military for humanitarian work.
Seriously, can you blame the boy? First off, it's pretty damn certain that he will never be crowned king (and it seems like he's just fine with that). And second of all, he's denied assignments in areas where it seems like they could use more men. So yeah, if I were in his position, I would feel pretty damn useless. As long as he doesn't leave the military to party and be completely selfish, I think he should go ahead with it.
3) Oh Diana! How many lovers did you have? Well, from the sounds of it...at least three. According to the article on GMX, Diana's first lover was the royal bodyguard Barry Mannakee, who died in 1987, when his motorcycle crashed into a car. Even though this collision was reported as an accident, Diana believed it wasn't. She believed that Barry Mannakee had to die because he knew too much about the miserable state of her marriage to Prince Charles. The other two lovers mentioned were her riding teacher James Hewitt (who is also supposedly the father of Prince Harry) and Dodi Al-Fayed (who was also her last lover and died in the same collision that killed Princess Diana). This article came up mainly because the author Tina Brown released excerpts from her soon-to-be-released book "The Diana Chronicles", which will supposedly be available in Germany on June 12th, but already seems to be available here. Of course, this book will most likely be one among many. I mean, it has almost been a decade since that unfortunate collision in Paris. I won't say that I condone Diana's affairs, but she did belong to the more compassionate portion of the world's population.
1997 was a tragic year in that aspect: We lost both Princess Diana and Mother Theresa. Don't these deaths always happen in groups of three? Where's the third one? Okay, sorry, I'm veering off topic.
Anyway, I don't know how good this book is...nor do I know how much of it is true. It's pretty certain that Princess Diana had affairs with both James Hewitt and Dodi Al-Fayed, but I don't know how much longer this list of lovers is.
Who knows...I might even buy the book, read it, and then write a review on it.
Well, that's all I have to say...at least until I find something new to write about.
Take care people!
1) Paris Hilton has been sent back to jail. For those of you who have better things to do with your lives, here is a summary of the backstory to this article: After having been caught driving under the influence several times, having her license suspended, and then being caught driving under the influence without her license, a judge finally decided to send Paris Hilton to prison for 45 days. I thought that this was slightly less than fair, but it was something. Anyway, Paris Hilton left to start her sentence early...right after attending this year's MTV Movie Awards. Okay, at least she was being a good girl about it. Everything was going well, the prison guards were reporting that she was courteous and polite (of course, she was), and then...on the third day of her sentence, she was released from prison...due to medical reasons (supposedly a nervous breakdown).
Now onto the actual article: Judge Sauer (which I, as part-German, think is a hilarious and fitting name for a judge) decided after a day of "freedom" for Paris Hilton (she was to remain in her villa for the remainder of her sentence) that she would be returning to prison. Paris Hilton's reaction to this: crying and calling out to her mother.
There were reports of Paris Hilton complaining that she was cold and hungry in her prison cell. Well, you do have to think about the other people sitting in prison. I mean, you have people with diabetes, AIDS, and other illnesses or psychological disorders that make prison life a literal hell. I think that being hungry and cold would be the least of my problems... Then, you have people like Al Sharpton crying about racial discrimination. I don't know how true that is, but I am more likely to believe that it was discrimination based on wealth and social status. (Contrary to popular belief, wealth doesn't necessarily guarantee a higher social standing and vice versa.) There were also enraged district attorneys, who mentioned that we couldn't just simply set up a multi-layered prison system based on someone's wealth and/or social status. Surprisingly enough, the police are on Paris Hilton's side. Sheriff Baca mentioned that Paris Hilton has some serious problems that were getting worse in prison. (Umm, yeah, of course she has some serious problems. This was new? And of course they were getting worse in prison. Don't the problems of pretty much everyone else get worse in prison?) Another statement was that Paris Hilton had already spent the "average" time in prison for her "traffic sins" (Verkehrssuenden) and that other "traffic sinners" usually only have to sit out a tenth of their sentence. (And this is reason enough to let her go early?)
I hate to say this, but Paris Hilton needs to learn a lesson and get her head out of her butt. She's in her mid-twenties already, for crying out loud. She behaves the way she does and is then surprised that people want to see her dead. I don't think that she should die, but she should at least squirm and suffer a little. If she were to die from one anxiety attack...then she obviously hasn't suffered from enough of them. Honestly, she doesn't seem to care about the people around her. I mean, she was caught quite a few times driving under the influence, even though she could have easily called for a taxi or a limo to pick her up and drive her home. How many lives did she risk each of those times? Has she ever thought about that one?
So, here is my personal message to Paris Hilton (not that she'll receive it, but it will make me feel better): Grow up, baby girl!!! I'm only 21 and I have more common sense and compassion in my right little finger than you have and could ever have in your whole body! You're an arrogant, spoiled, two-faced baby, who hasn't been told to shut up enough in her life. Do yourself a favor: travel around the world incognito (if that is at all possible), go to developing countries, rely on yourself and the kindness of others...and not on your and/or the Hilton money, abstain from parties and alcohol and the social scene in general, and then maybe you will be ready to show yourself in public again.
2) Prince Harry is thinking about leaving the military. Why this? Because in addition to not letting him go to Iraq, he also isn't allowed to serve in Afghanistan. Why this? Because not only have so many soldiers died already, not only is it a highly dangerous area for the average soldier to be in, but it is especially dangerous for a member of one of the most widely-recognized royal families to be in.
According to several reports, Prince Harry is fully aware of this, but being denied both assignments kind of signaled an early death to his young military career (in addition to these denials being a blow to his blue-blooded ego). So, he is now supposedly thinking about "retiring" early from the military. Instead he wants to concentrate on humanitarian work, such as the organization Sentabale in the South African kingdom Lesotho, which helps AIDS-orphans and was established by Prince Harry as a memorial to his mother.
My thoughts: Go for the humanitarian work. Your mother will be proud of you and you'll most likely help more people with that than if you were to stay in the military and drive yourself crazy for lack of assignments. I also doubt that anyone will think less of you, should you choose to leave the military for humanitarian work.
Seriously, can you blame the boy? First off, it's pretty damn certain that he will never be crowned king (and it seems like he's just fine with that). And second of all, he's denied assignments in areas where it seems like they could use more men. So yeah, if I were in his position, I would feel pretty damn useless. As long as he doesn't leave the military to party and be completely selfish, I think he should go ahead with it.
3) Oh Diana! How many lovers did you have? Well, from the sounds of it...at least three. According to the article on GMX, Diana's first lover was the royal bodyguard Barry Mannakee, who died in 1987, when his motorcycle crashed into a car. Even though this collision was reported as an accident, Diana believed it wasn't. She believed that Barry Mannakee had to die because he knew too much about the miserable state of her marriage to Prince Charles. The other two lovers mentioned were her riding teacher James Hewitt (who is also supposedly the father of Prince Harry) and Dodi Al-Fayed (who was also her last lover and died in the same collision that killed Princess Diana). This article came up mainly because the author Tina Brown released excerpts from her soon-to-be-released book "The Diana Chronicles", which will supposedly be available in Germany on June 12th, but already seems to be available here. Of course, this book will most likely be one among many. I mean, it has almost been a decade since that unfortunate collision in Paris. I won't say that I condone Diana's affairs, but she did belong to the more compassionate portion of the world's population.
1997 was a tragic year in that aspect: We lost both Princess Diana and Mother Theresa. Don't these deaths always happen in groups of three? Where's the third one? Okay, sorry, I'm veering off topic.
Anyway, I don't know how good this book is...nor do I know how much of it is true. It's pretty certain that Princess Diana had affairs with both James Hewitt and Dodi Al-Fayed, but I don't know how much longer this list of lovers is.
Who knows...I might even buy the book, read it, and then write a review on it.
Well, that's all I have to say...at least until I find something new to write about.
Take care people!
Friday, June 08, 2007
Raving to keep sane
A lot has been going on. I am preparing to move again, which will hopefully be the last time I have to do this for the next two years. I don't mind moving, and I usually get jumpy after having lived in one place or gone to one school for about two years, but this is enough.
I also need to have my left jaw joint looked at since I feel like shooting myself a lot of times because of the level of pain. Then, of course, I need to ask a gynecologist about my ovaries and uterus because I can't believe that the amount of pain that I've been in for about a decade can be anything close to normal.
What else? I am, as always, overly concerned with humanity, the world, and the universe. Is there anything I can do about it? Well, it's like I told my mother recently, I could do something about it, but then my hands would smart from the amount of people I'd be smacking around. Okay, Spass beiseite, I know that there's something I should be able to do, even if it is just expressing these worries of mine for the time being. However, that is only a short-term solution. Bitching has never gotten us anywhere useful. So, I guess it's on to constructive complaining. Sorry, I probably shouldn't be typing while I'm this tired...
Anyway, eventually, hopefully in the near future, I will think of something useful and compassionate to do for everyone.
Okay, I'm starting to draw blanks, so I guess I'll type a longer post later.
As for me raving to keep sane (or as sane as I can be), this video is of one of the many songs that I've been dancing and listening to. It's from Scooter's album Stadium Techno (if I'm not mistaken) and it's called Maria (I like it loud). It also has a guest appearance from Ralf Moeller, who has played in movies and series, such as Conan The Adventurer (1997-1998), Gladiator (2000), Die Nibelungen (Ring of the Nibelungs) (2004), Beerfest (2006), Pathfinder and Seed (2007), and has finished work on Postal (2007). Even though he is funny in the video, I still shudder slightly at the thought of Ralf in this video and am trying to forget about it.
By the way, before you watch the video, here are a few more things I'd like to say:
1) Don't forget to read Trifthen's webfiction. He's already on the 10th chapter, I believe. So far, there are updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
2) Personal message to Adrienne: I love you too! *mwah*
I also need to have my left jaw joint looked at since I feel like shooting myself a lot of times because of the level of pain. Then, of course, I need to ask a gynecologist about my ovaries and uterus because I can't believe that the amount of pain that I've been in for about a decade can be anything close to normal.
What else? I am, as always, overly concerned with humanity, the world, and the universe. Is there anything I can do about it? Well, it's like I told my mother recently, I could do something about it, but then my hands would smart from the amount of people I'd be smacking around. Okay, Spass beiseite, I know that there's something I should be able to do, even if it is just expressing these worries of mine for the time being. However, that is only a short-term solution. Bitching has never gotten us anywhere useful. So, I guess it's on to constructive complaining. Sorry, I probably shouldn't be typing while I'm this tired...
Anyway, eventually, hopefully in the near future, I will think of something useful and compassionate to do for everyone.
Okay, I'm starting to draw blanks, so I guess I'll type a longer post later.
As for me raving to keep sane (or as sane as I can be), this video is of one of the many songs that I've been dancing and listening to. It's from Scooter's album Stadium Techno (if I'm not mistaken) and it's called Maria (I like it loud). It also has a guest appearance from Ralf Moeller, who has played in movies and series, such as Conan The Adventurer (1997-1998), Gladiator (2000), Die Nibelungen (Ring of the Nibelungs) (2004), Beerfest (2006), Pathfinder and Seed (2007), and has finished work on Postal (2007). Even though he is funny in the video, I still shudder slightly at the thought of Ralf in this video and am trying to forget about it.
By the way, before you watch the video, here are a few more things I'd like to say:
1) Don't forget to read Trifthen's webfiction. He's already on the 10th chapter, I believe. So far, there are updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
2) Personal message to Adrienne: I love you too! *mwah*
Monday, May 14, 2007
Watashi ga taizen da to omoimasu.
Well, Anime Central is over and all of my boys are at home again. Because I didn't/couldn't go this year, I was, of course, very curious of what went on. Naturally, the one person I didn't need to hear from, I, well, inadvertently heard from (mainly because the living room TV doesn't work). I got to hear him say things about friends of mine. Things that I didn't really appreciate...especially since they were coming from him. He also took a stab at trying to figure out why my friend/roommate (as opposed to my boyfriend/roommate...or as opposed to him, the prick/roommate) attended conventions. However, he doesn't know jack about anything or anyone, so he should shut up!
Anyway, I've slept on it and decided that it would be completely against my usual personality to curse him out. It's hard. Really hard, but I know what types of people my friends are (or at the very least, I have a much better clue than he does) and if I let him get to me, it will just go to show that he is of some significance in my life. If I've learned anything in the past 21 years, it's that ignoring someone/something is more damaging than any physical or verbal attacks that I could hand out.
I think that's all I have to say for now. And yes, I actually do feel quite calm/self-possessed.
Take care mina san!
Anyway, I've slept on it and decided that it would be completely against my usual personality to curse him out. It's hard. Really hard, but I know what types of people my friends are (or at the very least, I have a much better clue than he does) and if I let him get to me, it will just go to show that he is of some significance in my life. If I've learned anything in the past 21 years, it's that ignoring someone/something is more damaging than any physical or verbal attacks that I could hand out.
I think that's all I have to say for now. And yes, I actually do feel quite calm/self-possessed.
Take care mina san!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Es ist wieder Zeit fuer einen deutschen Eintrag
Tja, es ist schon ziemlich lange her seit meinem letzten deutschen Eintrag, nicht wahr?
Heute ist Muttertag, also "Alles Gute!" an alle Muetter, Grossmuetter, und an die Leute, die sich liebend um andere kuemmern.
Was geht bei mir heute ab? Nichts...ueberhaupt nichts! Ich bin gestern ins Kino gegangen und hab "Hot Fuzz" angeguckt...alleine!...und dann bin ich etwas spaeter ins Bett.
Unglaublicherweise bin ich nach nur drei Stunden oder so aufgewacht! Ich hab schon gedacht, dass es mittags ist, aber nein...es ist erst 8 Uhr morgens gewesen.
Schon seltsam, oder?
Hmmm...ich bin gerade dabei drei Buecher zu lesen und ich schaue mir "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" und "Excel Saga" an. Also, sehr viel geht bei mir momentan nicht vor...
Na ja, hoffentlich melde ich mich bald wieder!
Passt gut auf euch auf!
Heute ist Muttertag, also "Alles Gute!" an alle Muetter, Grossmuetter, und an die Leute, die sich liebend um andere kuemmern.
Was geht bei mir heute ab? Nichts...ueberhaupt nichts! Ich bin gestern ins Kino gegangen und hab "Hot Fuzz" angeguckt...alleine!...und dann bin ich etwas spaeter ins Bett.
Unglaublicherweise bin ich nach nur drei Stunden oder so aufgewacht! Ich hab schon gedacht, dass es mittags ist, aber nein...es ist erst 8 Uhr morgens gewesen.
Schon seltsam, oder?
Hmmm...ich bin gerade dabei drei Buecher zu lesen und ich schaue mir "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" und "Excel Saga" an. Also, sehr viel geht bei mir momentan nicht vor...
Na ja, hoffentlich melde ich mich bald wieder!
Passt gut auf euch auf!
Melancholy reigns supreme
I usually avoid songs like this, but somehow I am in an especially melancholic mood right now. So, this song just happened to draw me in, and I can relate to it almost completely...and I believe that I'm not the only one.
So, here is another video: Girls Aloud's "Life got Cold" off of their first album Sound of the Underground.
So, here is another video: Girls Aloud's "Life got Cold" off of their first album Sound of the Underground.
Some things are too good to be true
Well, as some of you might know, I suffered from a pretty bad cold for about two weeks last month, and was recovering from an exceptionally stubborn cough. This week my body decided it would be nice to add a series of vicious sneezes into the mix. Now, I'm getting the odd feeling that the sneezes might not be from another cold, but an allergy instead. Here's my problem: What the hell am I allergic to?!? I've had these types of sneezes before, but after going through two allergy tests, they weren't able to find anything. Sure, the doctors suggested that I might belong to a group of people who experience allergic reactions through the nasal cavities, but I never went through that kind of an allergy test.
For now, all I can do is take some allergy medication and do my best to find out what I am allergic to. I usually don't like taking allergy medication because it causes practically all of my muscles to relax, which is bad for driving, cleaning, and...gymnastics, among many other activities. Oh well...shikata ga nai ne.
Anyway, I need to shower, take more allergy medication, and think about whether or not I want to go to the movies (and if so, what movie I would like to see).
Hopefully, this will get better soon.
Take care mina san.
For now, all I can do is take some allergy medication and do my best to find out what I am allergic to. I usually don't like taking allergy medication because it causes practically all of my muscles to relax, which is bad for driving, cleaning, and...gymnastics, among many other activities. Oh well...shikata ga nai ne.
Anyway, I need to shower, take more allergy medication, and think about whether or not I want to go to the movies (and if so, what movie I would like to see).
Hopefully, this will get better soon.
Take care mina san.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I'm done! Yatta! Yatta!
Well, the semester is now officially over for me...and now all I want to do is poke holes in the air or pass out. Unfortunately, I am only granted a brief reprieve since I have to set up a new schedule, look at apartments in Urbana/Champaign/Savoy, pick one, do some major cleaning, find a supplementary job during my "vacation", and fulfill all of the duties that I am usually expected to fulfill.
This semester, like the last, was a disaster. Unlike last semester, it didn't take such a high toll on my already cracked emotional/mental/physical states, which I am quite grateful for. Who knows...maybe by the time I graduate, everything will be the way it was...umm...before 2006, I suppose?
Ah well, enough of my whiny ass. I have a bladder to empty and body to feed. Maybe I can write about something more positive in my next post.
Take care mina san!
This semester, like the last, was a disaster. Unlike last semester, it didn't take such a high toll on my already cracked emotional/mental/physical states, which I am quite grateful for. Who knows...maybe by the time I graduate, everything will be the way it was...umm...before 2006, I suppose?
Ah well, enough of my whiny ass. I have a bladder to empty and body to feed. Maybe I can write about something more positive in my next post.
Take care mina san!
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