Endspurt!

Yes people, it is that time of the semester again. Just two more weeks and then...FINALS...whoooooo!!!!

No, I am definitely not drunk...or drugged. If anything, I am just unbelievably tired and I have a headache or migraine...don't know which. For those of you who have a life...(here's a hint: if you're reading this, you obviously don't, but no worries...neither do I) here is what you missed: I ended up having to go to the Quad Cities for an ultrasound and a sleep study. Yeah, THAT went well...
Thanks to the stomach flu, I now have to redo my sleep study. Aside from that, I recently found out that I have to set up another ultrasound. Not just any ultrasound though people because that would be relaxing...to me. No, I'm talking about a transvaginal ultrasound...yeah, think about that one for a few. I'm not going to say anything else about that until a later post though.

All I have to say is: Ganbatte minasan!
If you don't have finals to worry about...well, lucky you, but I'm sure you have other things to deal with, right? So, good luck with those things then!

And to all my wonderful friends, I love you all!
If you ever need or want to talk to me, you know where to find me, for I am never far from you.
Hugs and kisses!!

For Kicks And Giggles

The following video is from a German movie, well, actually parody of Star Trek. It's made by the crew of the Bullyparade (look it up if you're interested). If you belong to the unfortunate few of my American friends who I've subjected to this movie, then you should enjoy it. Heck, even without having seen this movie, you should find this video at least somewhat amusing.
Viel Vergnuegen!

Oomph! Video

Hello everyone,

I have a video I would like to share with you. It's...I think, the newest music video from one of my favorite bands Oomph!. They are a German group and their music just really strikes a chord with me. I just love their music...
So, enjoy and tell me what you think about it and/or if you want see more of their videos! Take care!

New playlist

As some of you may have noticed, I put up some music for your enjoyment...well, fine, for my enjoyment... Since I have the same set of songs on both this blog and my Tagged site, I thought I'd change things a little, so now I put a completely new set of songs.
If you didn't notice, then fine...there's not much I can say about that, right?
Here is a list of the songs on my current playlist (and yes, you can switch through them):
1. Some Girls (Dance With Women) - JC Chasez (What?! I actually think he's okay! I mean, he can't be worse than Justin Timberlake...)
2. 100 Ways - JC Chasez
3. Shake It - JC Chasez
4. All Day Long I Dream About Sex - JC Chasez
5. How Much Is The Fish - Scooter
6. Creep - Dannii Minogue
7. I Begin To Wonder - Dannii Minogue
8. Hey! (So What) - Dannii Minogue
9. On The Loop - Dannii Minogue
10. Push - Dannii Minogue
11. Mystified - Dannii Minogue
12. Don't Wanna Lose This Feeling - Dannii Minogue
13. Come Into My World - Kylie Minogue
14. In Your Eyes - Kylie Minogue
15. Pop - NSync (This song is actually pretty decent.)
16. Sunglasses At Night - Corey Hart (I was actually looking for the newer version that was released in 2002, but I couldn't find it.)
17. Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson

So, have fun people! :)

Sexual Style

Do I need to say anything else about this? I think I need to get my boyfriend's opinion on this one... ;)

You scored as Hot. You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you. Hot 75% Violent 69% Exciting 69% Shy 56% Wet 56% Soft 50% Awkward 31% Sweet 31% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

How dumb am I really?

According to this, obviously not that dumb, or I'm just extremely lucky. However, if I look at my track record with being lucky, I'm going to go with the "not being that dumb" answer.

A little somethin' somethin'

I decided to write about something today that seems to be all too familiar to me. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. If you're bothered by the lack of punctuation or anything in that area, remember that it's supposed to be like that way. I guess it is more a stream of thought...so enjoy, that is, if you enjoy stuff like this...

I'm sitting here
alone in the bathroom
looking at the knife in my hand
My hand is shaking uncontrollably
as if something inside is resisting the temptation
The temptation to end it all
the irresistible urge to escape from this cage
Why I am doing this?
What exactly am I thinking?
Something inside of me is stirring
something darker and more dangerous than anything else in this universe
It speaks to me
its words sharper than the knife I am holding
What's wrong?
What are you afraid of?
You have nothing to lose
Nobody cares about you
Nobody will miss you
Nobody will notice that you're gone
You are worthless
You can't do anything right
Not even this
My whole body is trembling
I can barely breathe
My heart feels like it's going to explode
Tears are rolling down my face
What is the big deal anyway?
All I have to do is make a few strategically placed cuts
No, I can't!!!!
With a renewed outburst of tears and a sense of frustration
I throw the knife into the bathtub
Does this mean I'm done?
Hardly
I take a handful of pills
I don't even know what they are all for
All I know is that they will take away the pain
for a few hours at least
As I get up
I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror
No...it's not mine
It's the image of my enemy
The image of someone worthless
someone who doesn't deserve to live
I feel my blood start to boil
and as I stare her in the eyes
I punch her
The glass shatters
and my hand starts to bleed
it starts to hurt
but I don't care
As I lick the blood off of my hand
I can't help but feel some odd sense of fulfillment
and satisfaction

What's up little man?

Yesterday was quite interesting... The strain of cold I have currently managed to knock me out cold until it was too late to go to class. This didn't really make me happy, but there's not much I can do if my body is practically forcing me into a time out. I still went to work though, which might not have been smart, but I need to earn money, so I don't have many legal options in that area. After work, I went to the mall to say hi to my boyfriend and to have my hair cut. This is where I saw him, a little boy came into the salon with his dad and he didn't look happy at all. I thought it was kind of cute because he seemed to be pouting for the heck of it. So, I'm looking at this kid and all of a sudden, he turns to stare at me. Not look, stare. I actually felt like someone had slapped me, so I tried not to continue looking at this kid. Now, not many people make me feel like this, let alone a child, but for some odd reason, he made me feel really uncomfortable. So, the dad and his son sit down in the chairs next to me, and what happens a few minutes later? This little boy is starting to burn holes in the side of my head with all of the staring he's doing. There were a few moments when I actually wanted to face this kid and ask "What is your problem?!". I didn't want to do that next to the boy's father though and I don't think I would've done it anyway. However, if his father hadn't been right there, I would've stared right back since that usually puts an end to it. Somehow I get the feeling though, that staring back at this particular guy, would not have stopped him from staring.
Ah well, what can you do?
I, however, need to get ready to go to class.

Talk to everyone soon,
Bettina

Sex on the brain

Okay, so maybe it's me being sick for the third time during the last 30 days, maybe it's my hormones...I don't know...but right now, I am constantly thinking about sex. Now, I'm in a relationship with a person I really love, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about who to have sex with, how much, how long, how rough, what positions, etc. I feel like Jessica Alba's character in Dark Angel, Max Guevera, who had cat genes mixed in with her DNA, which had the great effect of sending her into a sexual frenzy every so often. This makes for an absolutely hilarious episode, or in some cases a somewhat sad episode, when she ends up sleeping with some guy, even though she loves Logan. However, it's not very funny when you experience something similar in real life...at least not when there isn't much you can do about it... So, I can't actually have sex because...I have a boyfriend who wants to wait (I respect this choice, I'm not blaming him for my dilemma), which means that my code of ethics forbids me from doing anything stupid...and I can't or don't feel comfortable masturbating since I am currently having my period and whatnot...so I am really trying to get at least some of the sex out of my head.
So yeah, I'm sick in more ways than one...but what else is new... As much as I like sex (this doesn't necessarily pertain to intercourse alone), and as much as it is an inherent part of all of us, I don't want to have to think about it all the time, especially with me feeling as weak and dizzy as I am at the moment...
Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing fine and I'll write again soon.

Baibai

Updates

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to inform everyone of two new links that I have put in my Links section. Of course, you can't see all of that information right off because it has all been shoved down to the bottom of this page. I know that there's probably a way to fix it, but it's still here, so I don't really care too much.
Anyway, updates. New links. Yeah.
Both of them have to do with me because I have decided to start a Myspace and since I have been "tagged" by two of my friends, I now have also joined that community. I made both of the sites accessible to the public, so you should be able to take a look at them.
If you want to take a look at them, you can either scroll all the way down to my Links section and you will find them listed as "Bettina on Tagged" and "Bettina on Myspace". That way you can also take a look at some other interesting links that may not be new, but pretty much all of them lead to the sites of my friends, so show them some love! One I especially recommend is the link listed as Trifthen because there's always something interesting to read and it's very well-written.
However, if you're too lazy to scroll down (sit back down and stop pouting...I'm extremely lazy right now too), I will just list them in this post:
1) http://www.tagged.com/benedettasophia
2) http://www.myspace.com/benedettasophia
Should you feel the urge to write any comments about any of my posts on my Tagged and Myspace sites, just write it in the comments section of the latest post here, or write me a message (if you know my e-mail address).
Okay, I'm done.

Have a good night,
Bettina

Something Gorier Than The Bloodiest Horror Movie

Well, just when you thought you were safe, something pops up and grabs you from behind, or in this case, lays in the toilet bowl and waits to be discovered...
As some of you might recall, I am having issues with one of my roommates. Well, that most certainly hasn't changed...but it does seem like he's trying to outdo himself every now and then.
So, what did he do yesterday? First, when I informed him of his current debt, he pretty much snapped back: "You already told me that". Of course, this was what it sounded: "Would you shut up already?! I don't want to deal with you or my debt. You're getting my (expletively deleted) nerves".
I almost took his head off for that response, but instead I just told him: "No, I didn't tell you about the most current amount you owe...but don't worry, it will increase". Of course, I used the most appropriate tone I could without yelling at him or beating him up for that.
Now, getting back to the toilet...
My boyfriend was on his way to bed and needed to use the bathroom upstairs, when, all of sudden, he asked me to come upstairs with a really worried look on his face. Since he was looking at the bathroom, I thought that my "special" roommate had, yet again, left the bathroom door open and the toilet lid up, which pisses me off enough as it is... However, I shouldn't be so lucky this time because as I walked closer to the bathroom, I saw that this jerk had managed to not flush the toilet, so I could practically tell what he had had to eat. The thing that made it even more disgusting was that there was absolutely no toilet paper in the toilet bowl...
So yeah, I had a fun end to my day.
Sorry if I ruined anyone else's day...

Take care everyone and ja mata,
Bettina

Here's to you Dad

I am posting this to show my dad that, obviously, you can never be too young to be sarcastic. So, Dad, be proud of your completely sarcastic daughter because she won't be going anywhere.
Yet again, take this test if you can and want, and please let me know what you got.

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny. Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it. And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

Take care,
Bettina

What Story Character Am I?

Which Classic Story Role Do You Play?

- You Are The Outlaw
"Sure, I'll do it. My way."

Just because you do not conform to the same laws and rules as everyone else does not mean that you are a bad guy. You travel your own path, separate from those around you, with your own reasons for doing what you do. Because of this and your own nature, it goes without saying that you are generally misunderstood. That does not matter much, though, as people love you for being who you are. You are pretty well set in your ways and have no real intention of changing. This can come across as a flicker of arrogance if your not careful. You do what is right for you, and God help anyone who stands in your way.
Take this quiz!








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Today's Test Results are in

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING REMOTELY SEXUAL, PLEASE SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST.

Curvy and Naughty Raw score: 66% Big Breasts, 45% Big Ass, and 40% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to larger breasts, larger asses, and sexier composures than others who've taken the test. Note that you like women overall curvier than average. My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sexier, naughtier look. Kudos! Recommended Celebrities: Supermodel Laetitia Casta and Actress Angelina Jolie.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on tit-size You scored higher than 99% on ass-size You scored higher than 99% on cuteness

Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Not dead...yet

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to show everyone that I am still somewhat alive. I am pissed off (but what else is new in that area) and I'm tired and I'm depressed... Everything seems to be going horribly wrong and I can't seem to do anything right.
My bank is being uncharacteristically stupid, since they put the money I deposited last week on hold and finally lifted the hold today...after my rent check bounced yesterday.
Of course, everyone had such bright ideas, which they shared with me after I had deposited the money. Now, in addition to everything else, I feel incredibly dumb. I know that we all need to make our own mistakes, but finances are an area you can't afford to make mistakes in.
Ah well, this was supposed to be me saying "Hi, I hope everyone is okay." and not another rant.
All I want to do is play the "Start Over" card at this point in my life. You know, just die and be reborn. Maybe I'll make it to 25 on my next round...
Sorry, for the incredibly depressing post...

Take care,
Bettina

Response to comments

I know that I'm not doing too well, and I'm fully aware that there are people out there suffering from potentially fatal heart conditions or from depleted uranium. It doesn't console me because then I imagine what those people must feel like. It angers me because I want to do something to help, but can't.
Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing sort of decent. I'm slowly recovering, but I do feel waves of aggression washing over me, which really isn't anything new these days...
Oh well, I need to get to bed.

All of my love out to everyone,
Bettina

Issues

Well, after a very stressful summer, my biological clock screwing around with me, an ovarian cyst that likes making itself known every now and then, a roommate who is still pissing me off (but who now at least has a job), money shortage, online courses to finish up, forms that need to be filled out, doctors who need to be seen, a cold having managed to spring up on me (which is now gone), a wrist that mysteriously hurts, and all of the regular stuff that needs to be taken care of, it seems that it has finally all caught up with me. I am saying this because I missed going to my classes today, which I feel absolutely horrible about! I went to bed at my usual time and I set my alarm, so I guess that I'm just completely worn out now. I wrote one of my professors apologizing and explaining why I wasn't in class. He responded that if I was worried about my grade, I should go to the health center on campus and have them check on me and write me a note. There are a few problems that I have with that: 1) It's on campus and I live about 30 minutes outside off campus, 2) umm, I'm not going to visit a doctor who will tell me that the majority of my pain was caused by something called menstruation, and 3) I'm also not going to go see a doctor to write me a note about having a cold. Unfortunately, I should probably go see a doctor about my wrist, but I already told myself that if the pain's still there in a month or it gets drastically worse within the next week or so...then I'll go see a doctor. Other than that, I know that I'm doing well enough in school to not be overly worried about my grades.
I really don't know why I typed this post...I guess I just wanted to get rid of some steam...
Okay, I guess I'll end the post here and go bang my head into a table or wall several times.

Tschuess! *mwah*

New Test Results

Neo-Liberal You scored 45% Personal Liberty and 27% Economic Liberty!

A neo-liberal believes in moderate government intervention on personal matters and moderate to high government intervention on economic matters. They believe in a social safety net or welfare state and try to balance personal liberty with safety or security. Some neo-liberals believe in more foreign intervention or war then most other leftists. Others are more like Centrist Democrats. More authoritarian-leaning Neo-liberals (such as personal 40/economic 30) are the result of a "fusion" between "old left" and "new right" tendencies.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 14% on Personal You scored higher than 10% on Economic

Link: The Politics Test written by brainpolice on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

the Perfectionist Thanks for taking the test !

you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE. "I do everything the right way" Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. How to Get Along with Me Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work. Acknowledge my achievements. I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am. Tell me that you value my advice. Be fair and considerate, as I am. Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive. Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first. What I Like About Being a One being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal working hard to make the world a better place having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people What's Hard About Being a One being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met feeling burdened by too much responsibility thinking that what I do is never good enough not being appreciated for what I do for people being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am obsessing about what I did or what I should do being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously Ones as Children Often criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers are very responsible; may assume the role of parent hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry") Ones as Parents teach their children responsibility and strong moral values are consistent and fair discipline firmly Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATE it... but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-) you wanna know MORE? so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type... ...even more you'll find in Google or do you prefer to You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose CZ Would you rather have chosen: AZ (THREE) BZ (FIVE) CX (TWO) CY (SIX)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on ABC You scored higher than 0% on XYZ

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Whoo! More links

Well, I finally managed to add on two more links to my links section. The first one is listed as "I am a Japanese Teacher", which is a mostly amazingly funny set of stories written by a young man, who entered the JET program (which allows you to go overseas as an assistant teacher...well, that's one of JET's programs) and was sent to Japan. So, these stories are the incredible experiences that this man has while teaching in Japan.
The second new link is listed as "Chris in Japan", which is pretty self-explanatory, much like the aforementioned link... Chris is a good friend of mine, who will be spending some time studying in Japan, so he has decided to document his adventures abroad via the internet.
Actually, Chris is the person who had originally sent me the "I am a Japanese Teacher" link. So, here I am spreading the wealth...
Ah well, it's late, I'm tired and still in pain, so I guess I'll talk some more at a later time.

Take care, everyone.

New test

Lawful Good You scored 67% Law vs Chaos and 66% Good vs Evil!

Keep this in mind, before you read this and take it too seriously... This test is based on a system of moral absolutes. There is no subjectivity in D&D, as it is based on a fantasy world of heroes and villains. That is why their alignment system is so simple and polar. So naturally, if I were to apply this simple morality to modern day life, things would look very "black and white". That is why I watered down the concept of evil and good. It is very unlikely that anyone who takes this test is a mass murderer or a superhero, so Mean vs. Nice will have to take the place of good vs. evil. Lawfulness and Good in a nutshell: -Lawful characters are organized and rational. They believe that order is important, and they respect authority. They tend to be fairly rigid in their beliefs and behavior, but this is not always the case. -Good characters believe in doing the right thing. They help others when possible, and they are usually friendly. Your Alignment: "Crusader" Lawful Good, eh? I hope you're proud of yourself. It's easy to live by the rules, but not so easy to have a strong conscience. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do both and not go insane. It's possible that you are a bit holier-than-thou, but not necessarily. At least you mean well. Way to go!

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Law vs Chaos You scored higher than 99% on Good vs Evil

Link: The D&D Alignment Test written by ShatteredGlass1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test