Response to comments

I know that I'm not doing too well, and I'm fully aware that there are people out there suffering from potentially fatal heart conditions or from depleted uranium. It doesn't console me because then I imagine what those people must feel like. It angers me because I want to do something to help, but can't.
Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing sort of decent. I'm slowly recovering, but I do feel waves of aggression washing over me, which really isn't anything new these days...
Oh well, I need to get to bed.

All of my love out to everyone,
Bettina

Issues

Well, after a very stressful summer, my biological clock screwing around with me, an ovarian cyst that likes making itself known every now and then, a roommate who is still pissing me off (but who now at least has a job), money shortage, online courses to finish up, forms that need to be filled out, doctors who need to be seen, a cold having managed to spring up on me (which is now gone), a wrist that mysteriously hurts, and all of the regular stuff that needs to be taken care of, it seems that it has finally all caught up with me. I am saying this because I missed going to my classes today, which I feel absolutely horrible about! I went to bed at my usual time and I set my alarm, so I guess that I'm just completely worn out now. I wrote one of my professors apologizing and explaining why I wasn't in class. He responded that if I was worried about my grade, I should go to the health center on campus and have them check on me and write me a note. There are a few problems that I have with that: 1) It's on campus and I live about 30 minutes outside off campus, 2) umm, I'm not going to visit a doctor who will tell me that the majority of my pain was caused by something called menstruation, and 3) I'm also not going to go see a doctor to write me a note about having a cold. Unfortunately, I should probably go see a doctor about my wrist, but I already told myself that if the pain's still there in a month or it gets drastically worse within the next week or so...then I'll go see a doctor. Other than that, I know that I'm doing well enough in school to not be overly worried about my grades.
I really don't know why I typed this post...I guess I just wanted to get rid of some steam...
Okay, I guess I'll end the post here and go bang my head into a table or wall several times.

Tschuess! *mwah*

New Test Results

Neo-Liberal You scored 45% Personal Liberty and 27% Economic Liberty!

A neo-liberal believes in moderate government intervention on personal matters and moderate to high government intervention on economic matters. They believe in a social safety net or welfare state and try to balance personal liberty with safety or security. Some neo-liberals believe in more foreign intervention or war then most other leftists. Others are more like Centrist Democrats. More authoritarian-leaning Neo-liberals (such as personal 40/economic 30) are the result of a "fusion" between "old left" and "new right" tendencies.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 14% on Personal You scored higher than 10% on Economic

Link: The Politics Test written by brainpolice on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

the Perfectionist Thanks for taking the test !

you chose CZ - your Enneagram type is ONE. "I do everything the right way" Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals. How to Get Along with Me Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work. Acknowledge my achievements. I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am. Tell me that you value my advice. Be fair and considerate, as I am. Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive. Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first. What I Like About Being a One being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal working hard to make the world a better place having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people What's Hard About Being a One being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met feeling burdened by too much responsibility thinking that what I do is never good enough not being appreciated for what I do for people being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am obsessing about what I did or what I should do being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously Ones as Children Often criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers are very responsible; may assume the role of parent hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry") Ones as Parents teach their children responsibility and strong moral values are consistent and fair discipline firmly Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATE it... but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-) you wanna know MORE? so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type... ...even more you'll find in Google or do you prefer to You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose CZ Would you rather have chosen: AZ (THREE) BZ (FIVE) CX (TWO) CY (SIX)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on ABC You scored higher than 0% on XYZ

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Whoo! More links

Well, I finally managed to add on two more links to my links section. The first one is listed as "I am a Japanese Teacher", which is a mostly amazingly funny set of stories written by a young man, who entered the JET program (which allows you to go overseas as an assistant teacher...well, that's one of JET's programs) and was sent to Japan. So, these stories are the incredible experiences that this man has while teaching in Japan.
The second new link is listed as "Chris in Japan", which is pretty self-explanatory, much like the aforementioned link... Chris is a good friend of mine, who will be spending some time studying in Japan, so he has decided to document his adventures abroad via the internet.
Actually, Chris is the person who had originally sent me the "I am a Japanese Teacher" link. So, here I am spreading the wealth...
Ah well, it's late, I'm tired and still in pain, so I guess I'll talk some more at a later time.

Take care, everyone.

New test

Lawful Good You scored 67% Law vs Chaos and 66% Good vs Evil!

Keep this in mind, before you read this and take it too seriously... This test is based on a system of moral absolutes. There is no subjectivity in D&D, as it is based on a fantasy world of heroes and villains. That is why their alignment system is so simple and polar. So naturally, if I were to apply this simple morality to modern day life, things would look very "black and white". That is why I watered down the concept of evil and good. It is very unlikely that anyone who takes this test is a mass murderer or a superhero, so Mean vs. Nice will have to take the place of good vs. evil. Lawfulness and Good in a nutshell: -Lawful characters are organized and rational. They believe that order is important, and they respect authority. They tend to be fairly rigid in their beliefs and behavior, but this is not always the case. -Good characters believe in doing the right thing. They help others when possible, and they are usually friendly. Your Alignment: "Crusader" Lawful Good, eh? I hope you're proud of yourself. It's easy to live by the rules, but not so easy to have a strong conscience. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do both and not go insane. It's possible that you are a bit holier-than-thou, but not necessarily. At least you mean well. Way to go!

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Law vs Chaos You scored higher than 99% on Good vs Evil

Link: The D&D Alignment Test written by ShatteredGlass1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Nothing in particular

Well, I would like to thank Shaun and Anonymous for their wonderful ideas. I've basically come to the conclusion that if he doesn't start paying by Nov. 1st, he will have to move out. Supposedly, he got a call from McDonald, but I don't know what's going on with that exactly. I must be a horrible person because a part of me wants him to screw up and to keep on not paying, but that's probably because he's already pissed me off more than enough.
Right now, I should be in class, but my mind and body have been working so hard lately that I've caught a slight cold, both of my knees hurt, my right ankle hurts, my left wrist hurts, my head hurts, and so on. There is some good news though, due to all of the stressful events that have or had been going on for the last month or two, I didn't have my period last month and with the way things were going this month, I was afraid that the same thing was going to happen. Fortunately, my period started up again yesterday, which, despite all the additional pain and fatigue that it is giving me, I am very happy about.
Other good news: My boyfriend is now employed and I have a job I am happy with. Bad news: My boyfriend is going to put himself further into debt to help pay the rent and other bills, I'm going to use up all of the money in my account to do the same, and I am going to have to ask one of my roommates (the one with a job and money) to pay more than his share for now.
Anyway, I should be ending this post now because there are bills to be paid, mail to be sent out, people to be called, kids to be watched, books to be read, homework to be done, exams to be studied for, people to be pissed off at, so...yeah.

Have a nice day everyone. *wave, wave, wave, wave*

Completely and utterly beside myself

I never thought I would have to do this, but it has already gotten to this point: Having to hide the remote control from one of my roommates.
First of all, let me bring everyone up to speed on this: When I started this blog, I lived in Iowa City with my boyfriend. At the beginning of 2006, we took in one of our mutual friends, who really wasn't getting along with his father and needed to get away from him. During 2006, amidst making plans to move to a different city in a different state, I had agreed to take in another one of my boyfriend's friends. I only did this because I knew he had had a job at the time, he was planning on moving to the same area as we were anyway, I had heard that he, too, was having issues with his father, and...it seemed like a good idea at the time.
However, I should have known better, and so far, these are a few things that he has been doing: taking his sweet time in the employment area, sleeping in the basement, showing up late for his first day at his new job, jumping down the stairs to the basement because it "seemed like a good idea at the time" and having to go to the hospital due to a head injury, questioning everything he is asked to do, spending money he doesn't have, using our possessions without asking our permission, spreading out into all areas of the duplex, not paying any part of the rent or utilities, and so on...
So, that leads me to today's reason to be pissed off at him: I am not feeling well at all, I am on medication, my right knee hurts soooo much, and I am still going to school and work today. And where do I find this enormous prick? In the living room, watching football, eating breakfast, still awake from the night before, and when he finally did turn the TV back off, he went back downstairs, which is where he'll continue to sit in front of his computer, probably fall asleep (you have a friggin' room, you moron!!!), and then he'll probably refuse to help with any of the housework...among various other things.
You see, it just seems like he is mooching off of everyone here, and now he has even managed to invade what little "me"-time I have.
Sorry, I am just soooo pissed off right now...and I still have the whole day ahead of me...
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I need to get ready to leave for school, I can't stay here, at least not for the next few hours.
Okay, I hope that everyone else is having a more pleasant day than I am right now.

Take care and kisses all around!

Look, a kitty!

Well, this is a picture of my baby Yumeko. Of course, she is quite a bit bigger now, but I will post some more current pictures as soon as I can.
Hmm, there are plenty of other things that I could write about in this post, but that can wait until a later time.

Take care.

OH NO!!!

Please go to http://www.savestargatesg1.com and read up on what you can do to save Stargate SG-1. I will do as much as I can as well, so if you want to see one of the best series continue, then please do your part.

And most important of all:
WATCH STARGATE ON SCI-FI EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT!!!

You Are 26% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

New Test Results

Well, with all of the crap that has been going on, I'm not too surprised with this result...

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Birthdays everywhere

Hey, everyone!

With the summer months here, it seems that a higher number of people than usual are celebrating their birthdays. So, whose birthdays have come to pass so far?
Well, let's start with June...
June 1st: The daughter of my mother's oldest friend turned 21.
June 12th or 13th: My uncle (on my mother's side) turned...well, I don't know how old he is now; a mutual friend of a boyfriend and mine turned 19.
June 20's (not quite sure): Another friend of my boyfriend celebrated her birthday (sorry, don't know how old she is now either).
I also know that my former professor Adrienne also is a Cancerian, but I forgot on what day her birthday is and how old she is now.
Now onto July, at least until today...
July 1st: One of my dear friends from Germany turned 20; my boyfriend turned 21.
Yesterday, July 6th: The son of my mother's oldest friend turned 19; and I turned 21.

Well, what did I do for my birthday?
I managed to get my dad pissed off at me out of a really STUPID reason, but I was still supposed to have a nice day. I ended up having an emotional breakdown and almost wanted to bang my head into the wall and yell at my dad at the same time. Even though I wanted to throw my birthday out to the dogs, I ended up going out with my boyfriend to one of the local night clubs and had a few drinks. We both started off by having a martini each (they were half off last night). I had one with coconut rum and vodka, and my boyfriend had one called Tootsie Pop, with yes, a Tootsie Pop stuck in it. After that, I decided to try one of their margaritas. It had pineapple juice and blue curacao in it. In addition to that, I had a Bellini, some cucumber water, and since it was my birthday, I got to down a Burgundy Bomb with one of the waitresses, which was on the house, so that was nice.
And that was pretty much the extent of my birthday.
Oh well, I'm going to stop here, and hopefully, I'll be able to set up some pictures of my baby (an almost 10-week old, long-haired black kitten) Yumeko, and of my new hairdo.

Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing better than I am right now.

Take care...

Awww...

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Who'd have thunk it?

How true...

You Are The Moon

You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams. You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness. Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies. Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one. Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares. Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses. You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Test, Test, Test!

There isn't a whole lot for me to say about this, so enjoy, take the test, enjoy some more, tell me what you got on it, etc.

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Talk to everyone later.
Ja mata!

Duck on the Loose

End of Semester

Yay! The semester is over!
I don't know if I am overly happy about that though. I had to type a five-page paper based on my readings in my Japanese literature class instead of taking a traditional final. We had several topics to choose from, and I decided it would be great to write about the role and fascination of licensed quarters in the "floating world", thinking that there would be an abundance of material on this topic. However, I quickly found out that there was an abundance of sensual material, but a good chunk of it did not or only barely had anything to do with the licensed quarters. At that point though, it was too late to pick a new topic and start over.
Here I have a confession to make: As much as I wanted never to forget my medication again, I realized that I was running out of antidepressants. I did ask for refills, but to preserve gas, I can't drive back to the Quad Cities every week or so. I also didn't ask my mother to send me my meds because I didn't want to cause her any additional stress. So, I thought, "Ah, what the hell. I'll be okay without my antidepressants for two or three days.". Unfortunately, I started having withdrawal symptoms on the second day... I had dizzy spells, nausea, extreme drowsiness, my body would start to shake, etc.
Needless to say, I could hardly concentrate on concentrating, let alone on a paper.
In the end, I wasn't able to fill out five pages, it was a few minutes late, and I really don't remember what I was writing about and/or if it made any sense.
However, I'm still not finished with my coursework. I have two courses that I need to finish: One on statistical methods and the other on social psychology. I'm looking forward to these because I can work at my own pace, but I still want to finish them before August.
Oh yay, the joys of my post-semester schedule, but I'm pretty happy that I at least have a vague schedule for the summer.
Okay, I'm done. No more bitching from me today.
Back to watching Dark Water (the original version, that is)...creepy.

Another Quiz

Well, this is pretty self-explanatory...

You are 93% Cancer

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

If you are interested in this quiz, just go to http://www.blogthings.com/astrologyquizzes.html and click on the appropriate astrology quiz. However, if you are curious, you could always go through each of these quizzes.

Okay, I'm off to going through more quizzes.

Happy Birthday!

Yes, another birthday... My brother turned 16 yesterday. He sounded very pleased with the way his birthday was going, so I was happy to hear that. He also sounded like he was looking forward to seeing me this weekend, but we'll see what happens between now and tomorrow. I still need to put together presents for my brother and my sister, but I don't really know what to give my mom for Mother's Day... Depending on the way my family acts, I might not even stay until Mother's Day, which makes me feel bad for Mom, but she doesn't even want to do anything anyway.
So, what else is new... My annual physical is tomorrow, my final paper is due tomorrow, my boyfriend is depressed and I don't know how to help him, I can't remember last night's dreams, and I'm tired and slightly dizzy. I think that pretty much sums my current situation up.
Now, I'm not even sure if I'm aggravated or depressed...or both, but I do know that I'm pretty hungry, so I'm going to fix that now.
Well, take care everyone, and I'll talk to you later.

Quick Break from Apocalypse Watch

Well, I have added a new link to my links section. It is listed as Fulltang and is for the livejournal of one of my good friends, who just set it up yesterday. So, it's still in the baby phase, I guess, but check it out and show your support!
Now, back to preparing for the apocalypse...or going to bed, whichever comes first.
A bientot, mes amis.