A little somethin' somethin'

I decided to write about something today that seems to be all too familiar to me. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. If you're bothered by the lack of punctuation or anything in that area, remember that it's supposed to be like that way. I guess it is more a stream of thought...so enjoy, that is, if you enjoy stuff like this...

I'm sitting here
alone in the bathroom
looking at the knife in my hand
My hand is shaking uncontrollably
as if something inside is resisting the temptation
The temptation to end it all
the irresistible urge to escape from this cage
Why I am doing this?
What exactly am I thinking?
Something inside of me is stirring
something darker and more dangerous than anything else in this universe
It speaks to me
its words sharper than the knife I am holding
What's wrong?
What are you afraid of?
You have nothing to lose
Nobody cares about you
Nobody will miss you
Nobody will notice that you're gone
You are worthless
You can't do anything right
Not even this
My whole body is trembling
I can barely breathe
My heart feels like it's going to explode
Tears are rolling down my face
What is the big deal anyway?
All I have to do is make a few strategically placed cuts
No, I can't!!!!
With a renewed outburst of tears and a sense of frustration
I throw the knife into the bathtub
Does this mean I'm done?
Hardly
I take a handful of pills
I don't even know what they are all for
All I know is that they will take away the pain
for a few hours at least
As I get up
I see my reflection in the bathroom mirror
No...it's not mine
It's the image of my enemy
The image of someone worthless
someone who doesn't deserve to live
I feel my blood start to boil
and as I stare her in the eyes
I punch her
The glass shatters
and my hand starts to bleed
it starts to hurt
but I don't care
As I lick the blood off of my hand
I can't help but feel some odd sense of fulfillment
and satisfaction